If you found out you were pregnant today...

Kitka Kitka
Quote:
Originally posted by bayosgirl
Wow. Seriously? You would abort a child just because she/he MIGHT need a gluten free diet? You do realize rice and beans are like .50 cents a pound?

Usually I don't respond to things like this, but that really irks me. I am pro choice to ... More
Yes, seriously. You don't have any idea how expensive it becomes to feed someone on a totally gluten-free diet. I do realize how cheap rice and beans are but rice and beans don't make up a good enough diet for someone to live on 24/7 so that's not a solution to the problem.

I'm pro choice as well and definitely don't get down on anyone for their reasons as to why they would choose abortion. It's their life and they can do what they want. I may not agree with it or like it but it's not my place to tell them whether their reasons are legitimate or not.
08/23/2012
LAndJ LAndJ
We're not ready yet, but will be within the next 2-3 years, so we'd probably keep it. While we'd be worried, we'd figure things out.
08/23/2012
damnbul12 damnbul12
Worried/Anxious
08/23/2012
hyacinthgirl hyacinthgirl
I would completely go for adoption. I really don't understand the whole 'It's better for it to never be born than to be with a loving family who has spent scads of money and waited years for the opportunity to have a newborn baby'. Then again, I know most people act like adoption is some sort of horrible life of slavery or the ultimate in parental cruelty and abandonment, even though adopted kids do better than natural children in every test that sociologists put them through (happier, better adjusted, less likely to be on medication/in therapy, better grades, etc.).

I'm at a point in my life where having a child would be horrible for me. I don't have a serious boyfriend, I have a crappy part-time job, and I'm barely keeping my head above water. Hell, if I had any money myself, I would pay to place my flesh and blood in an adoptive family, open or closed, because there would be no greater act of love on my part.
08/23/2012
indiglo indiglo
I would not be happy. I don't know that my body could support a pregnancy, and I don't think I'd do well off all the meds that it takes to keep my body going as well as it does currently. I honestly have NO idea what we would do. We are in NO position to have a kid right now... so I just don't know.
08/23/2012
bayosgirl bayosgirl
Quote:
Originally posted by Kitka
Yes, seriously. You don't have any idea how expensive it becomes to feed someone on a totally gluten-free diet. I do realize how cheap rice and beans are but rice and beans don't make up a good enough diet for someone to live on 24/7 so ... More
Actually I am gluten-free myself (well, mostly) and it is no more expensive than a "regular" diet, because I just eat regular food minus the wheat. If all one is eating is $8/loaf rice bread, then yes, I guess it would get a little expensive. But that's beside the point. For one thing, why you would assume that your next child would be gluten sensitive just because the first one is, I don't understand. And if you have trouble paying for groceries there is something called food stamps. If you just don't want another child, that's your right, but POSSIBLE food intolerances seem like a pretty shallow reason to terminate a fetus's life.
08/23/2012
bayosgirl bayosgirl
Quote:
Originally posted by hyacinthgirl
I would completely go for adoption. I really don't understand the whole 'It's better for it to never be born than to be with a loving family who has spent scads of money and waited years for the opportunity to have a newborn baby'. ... More
That is very noble of you. It's rare to see unselfishness these days.
08/23/2012
justme23 justme23
Quote:
Originally posted by Lildrummrgurl7
If you or your partner found out you were pregnant today, with your current life situation, how would you feel and what would you choose to do?
The child would have to go up for adoption.
08/23/2012
skeeterlynn skeeterlynn
If I found out I was, I would be very excited. Mainly because I so badly want a child. However, now is not a good time to have on. I'm single, on unemployment and living with my parents. So that would make me feel very worried and overwhelmed. But I would still keep it and do the best I could. Lucky, my state does have assistance for single mothers so it wouldn't be as bad. WIC surprising in it's own is a big help when it comes to saving from having to buy so much formula! And I'd get medical insurance again. So I wouldn't be suffering or have any need for adoption or abortion. It would just be tough at first with trying to find a job with them knowing I will be on medical leave 9 months later.
08/23/2012
indiglo indiglo
Quote:
Originally posted by bayosgirl
Actually I am gluten-free myself (well, mostly) and it is no more expensive than a "regular" diet, because I just eat regular food minus the wheat. If all one is eating is $8/loaf rice bread, then yes, I guess it would get a little ... More
...POSSIBLE food intolerances seem like a pretty shallow reason to terminate a fetus's life...


In your opinion. Sometimes in life it proves beneficial to run our lives by our own principles... while allowing others the luxury to do the same.
08/23/2012
Kitka Kitka
Quote:
Originally posted by bayosgirl
Actually I am gluten-free myself (well, mostly) and it is no more expensive than a "regular" diet, because I just eat regular food minus the wheat. If all one is eating is $8/loaf rice bread, then yes, I guess it would get a little ... More
Everyone in my house is on a health-related diet and we don't qualify for food stamps, we "make too much to qualify". So yes, it's actually too expensive for us but somehow we make ends meet right now. Adding another child, let alone one with a major food allergy, which is highly likely, will make it impossible for us to keep up with paying our bills and we would probably become homeless.

My reasons are not just based on POSSIBLE food allergies; I didn't really mention anything else because I didn't think people were going to accuse me of being shallow and not having good enough reasons to have an abortion if I were pregnant. To abort or not is my choice and whether you think it's shallow or selfish doesn't really matter. I'm entitled to my own reasons or decisions for abortion just like every other woman.
08/23/2012
bayosgirl bayosgirl
Quote:
Originally posted by indiglo
...POSSIBLE food intolerances seem like a pretty shallow reason to terminate a fetus's life...


In your opinion. Sometimes in life it proves beneficial to run our lives by our own principles... while allowing others the luxury to do ... More
And I'm entitled to my own opinion as well.
08/23/2012
skeeterlynn skeeterlynn
Quote:
Originally posted by Kitka
Yes, seriously. You don't have any idea how expensive it becomes to feed someone on a totally gluten-free diet. I do realize how cheap rice and beans are but rice and beans don't make up a good enough diet for someone to live on 24/7 so ... More
Not to mention that all the regular day by day food needs that you can get gluten free are like, 3x's more the cost than with it in it. I've never had to be on that kind of diet, but I know it's a pain and very cost. Agreed, rice and beans is not something someone can live off of. You need ALL food groups and a variety of the vitamins and nutrients. However, I'd prefer if that was my case to put the baby up for adoption. Not saying badly towards you, that's just my choice. I see no point in killing it just because I could not financially take care of it when there's many families out there who are unable to create a child and wants one. But yet, I'm still pro choice. So what you do is your choice, not everyone elses.
08/23/2012
indiglo indiglo
Quote:
Originally posted by bayosgirl
And I'm entitled to my own opinion as well.
Naturally! What I was pointing out was that you were judging someone else based on YOUR opinions. YOUR opinions are to judge yourself and run your own life, not judge someone else and run their life.
08/23/2012
bayosgirl bayosgirl
Quote:
Originally posted by Kitka
Everyone in my house is on a health-related diet and we don't qualify for food stamps, we "make too much to qualify". So yes, it's actually too expensive for us but somehow we make ends meet right now. Adding another child, let ... More
I didn't call you shallow. I don't know you. I just said aborting based on a possible food allergy seems like a shallow REASON. And I'm entitled to my opinions just as much as anyone else. Just because my beliefs aren't 100% politically correct-"abortion for any reason, any time"-doesn't mean I should just shut up. There are other people with my same beliefs on this forum. I sure hope you never have to go through the pain of a miscarriage to cause you to realize how precious and fragile life is. I'm not religious in the least, I just went through an experience that challenged me to question and ultimately reaffirm my convictions. I know what a stressful, unplanned pregnancy is like. I'll even admit that I considered abortion. So I do have compassion for people who are also in challenging circumstances. But I also feel like abortion is a serious choice that shouldn't be entered into lightly.
08/23/2012
bayosgirl bayosgirl
Quote:
Originally posted by skeeterlynn
Not to mention that all the regular day by day food needs that you can get gluten free are like, 3x's more the cost than with it in it. I've never had to be on that kind of diet, but I know it's a pain and very cost. Agreed, rice and ... More
I didn't mean you can live off rice and beans alone, but rice (along with potatoes, also fairly cheap) are a common starch replacement for wheat. All the other healthy staples (veggies, fruits, meats, eggs) are naturally gluten-free. The only difference is you're subbing one starch for another.
08/23/2012
Mamastoys Mamastoys
I put Ecstatic because it would be a double miracle and we would be rich!!!
08/23/2012
skeeterlynn skeeterlynn
Quote:
Originally posted by bayosgirl
I didn't mean you can live off rice and beans alone, but rice (along with potatoes, also fairly cheap) are a common starch replacement for wheat. All the other healthy staples (veggies, fruits, meats, eggs) are naturally gluten-free. The only ... More
Which can be tough with so many people. And she said everyone in her family has food related health issues. Doesn't mean all of them have the same. Even with our income, it makes it hard to buy food with my mom's health issues. And that's just one of 3 of our home currently. I can't imaging if it was her, plus her husband and all 4 of her children (5 children during summers and holidays) growing up. We barely had normal food for us all, let alone trying to eat around health issues. Luckly, my mom didn't get the eating based health issues til after we were all moved out. And growing up, we didn't get food stamps because we made too much to get them, but not enough to actually have 3 full meals a day. Yeah, we ate, but my mom only had to ever make dinner because she just didn't eat, and for breakfast and lunch we were in school or summer lunches so she didn't have to actually make those. Having a big household is tough if you don't have two full time parents anymore, even worse when the whole house hold is dealing with different health conditions.

And no one is telling you to shut up. We just think you are being very judgmental. It may be a stupid reason to you, and I myself would choose adoption instead, but it's HER opinion for what she does to HER body. This forum wasn't created to get a debate. And sadly, a good bit of people actually would choose abortion. And at least her reason, not meaning any offense to the others, is a lot better than just that no doubt about it they would just because a baby wouldn't fit in to their life style.
08/23/2012
PepperPot PepperPot
Happy and anxious, since I think I would parent the child. The thing that makes me most nervous about having children is the ways in which my life would change unpredictably. My husband would be giddy, and probably a little scared, too.
08/23/2012
solitudinarian solitudinarian
I'd probably have an abortion. I'm 19. I am not ready for a child, nor can I afford one.
08/23/2012
Miss Nessa Miss Nessa
I don't know what I would do if I found out I was pregnant today... I think I'd be really scared and confused. Scared because raising a child is a big deal and I'm not going to lie abortion would pop into my head right away. We figured if we did end up pregnant (right now) we wouldn't go through with it, we just can't afford a child at this point in our life... So I don't know, I guess I'd have to go through it to really know.
08/23/2012
Miss Nessa Miss Nessa
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
Those are all sound reasons! My reason is just that when it comes to my personal life I'm a selfish twat and I don't want to share that with a creature that demands attention at every turn. I don't even like super-cuddly pets. Give me my ... More
You read my mind! That is one reason why I'm not rushing to have children. My boyfriend and I are still both selfish and love our life as it is, and I'm not ready to give it up yet. I love sleeping in, staying out late, spending my money on whatever I want, and all that good stuff.
08/23/2012
XxXxX XxXxX
Quote:
Originally posted by Lildrummrgurl7
If you or your partner found out you were pregnant today, with your current life situation, how would you feel and what would you choose to do?
I would lose my mind. I already have 3, but I would keep the child.
08/23/2012
Kitka Kitka
Quote:
Originally posted by bayosgirl
I didn't call you shallow. I don't know you. I just said aborting based on a possible food allergy seems like a shallow REASON. And I'm entitled to my opinions just as much as anyone else. Just because my beliefs aren't 100% ... More
I never said that you should shut up, I know that you can have your own opinion as well. I'm just curious as to why you chose to single me out from everyone else.

I'm very sorry to hear you had to go through a miscarriage, I would never wish it on anyone but I do understand that abortion is a serious choice that shouldn't be entered into lightly. I've actually thought a lot about my stance on abortion, but like you said, you don't really know me so how would you know that.
08/23/2012
hyacinthgirl hyacinthgirl
I'm really confused as to why so many people immediately jump to abortion without even considering adoption. Many adoption agencies will set birth mothers up with families who will pay for the costs of the pregnancy to ensure the birth of a healthy child.
08/23/2012
- Kira - - Kira -
Quote:
Originally posted by Ansley
Those are all sound reasons! My reason is just that when it comes to my personal life I'm a selfish twat and I don't want to share that with a creature that demands attention at every turn. I don't even like super-cuddly pets. Give me my ... More
That's a sound reason as well. I get so annoyed with people who don't want to give things up for kids and yet continue to have them.
08/23/2012
- Kira - - Kira -
Quote:
Originally posted by bayosgirl
And I'm entitled to my own opinion as well.
Yeah, but being judgmental about the opinion of someone else isn't the way to go about it.

If someone said they simply couldn't afford another child, would that be a bad reason? Because that's essentially what she's saying. You don't know if food allergies are so prevalent in her family that literally everyone gets them or not. Even if that's not the case, is it better that she run the risk of having a child she simply cannot afford?

As for adoption, that's not for everyone. It's a very hard thing to do. I admire those that can do it, but there's no way I could. If she feels that way as well, so be it.

It's not so much that you have an opinion as it is that you're passing judgement on her reasons.
08/23/2012
Gone (LD29) Gone (LD29)
I would be unhappy about it, to say the least. I can't say for sure what I would do about it without a lot of soul searching that I don't want to put myself through at the moment. Regardless of what I may choose (abortion, adoption, or keeping the child all being possible outcomes), I just can't see it ending well.
08/23/2012
Zombirella Zombirella
I'd be nervous, anxious, surprised, and happy, all rolled together. I want to be a mother, I just need to get some other things in place first. But if it happened before then, well then it was meant to be and I wouldn't be sad or upset.
08/24/2012
LadyDarknezz LadyDarknezz
I'd be confused since I've haven't had sex since 2006 and I am currently on birth control to help control my terrible periods. I'd probably be viewed as some miraculous religious symbol because of it lol.
08/24/2012
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