Self image

Contributor: Midway through Midway through
I haven't seen anything on this. But I'm curious of how many people actually have a positive body image. Poll is private so no names will be shown, feel free to be honest. This is just something I've been thinking about a lot lately. I have a few friends with fairly low self esteem..
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
My self esteem is great! I love my body and everything about me!
40
My self esteem is okay, I wouldn't mind changing a few things about my body
179
My self esteem is poor, I don't have good body image and don't like my body
75
My self esteem is flip-flop. Some days I love my body, some days I don't.
82
Total votes: 376 (340 voters)
Poll is closed
07/26/2010
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Contributor: Chilipepper Chilipepper
link

This might be related, although it's more along the lines of article discussion.

I've never been comfortable in my body, but I've never been comfortable in life, either.
07/26/2010
Contributor: Alicia Alicia
I go back and forth. Honestly I could/should lose some weight, I know that. But some days I love my curves and other days I'm all "Ugh WTF I need to lose weight NOWWWWW"
07/26/2010
Contributor: Blinker Blinker
Most of the time I'm happy with the way I look. It helps to have a partner who loves your body, too, to boost your own ego.
07/26/2010
Contributor: Taylor Violet LXIX Taylor Violet LXIX
I simultaneously love and hate my body. There are parts of it I wouldn't change for the world: Eyes, lips, breasts. Though I'd love to change a hell of a lot as well. and I'm right with Alicia with going back and forth between loving the curves and the "ugh wtf" factor.
07/26/2010
Contributor: Jul!a Jul!a
I normally love just about everything, but there are days where I think my thighs are too jiggly, I'm too short, my breasts are too small, etc. I definitely agree with Blinker, it does really help to have a partner who loves everything about your body.
07/26/2010
Contributor: Ciao. Ciao.
I know this is in the "women's sexual health" section, but I figured I'd add in what I can.

I definitely have a very flip-flop body image/self image. There's a lot of issues at play there, as I've got trans issues on top of normal body image issues that most people deal with. I'm not particularly overweight by any means...in fact in high school I was underweight, but I do wish I'd exercise a bit more regularly (more for mood/mental health reasons than physical ones, but also to build good habits), and my partner tends to complain that I'm still too skinny...but there are lots of things I don't like about my body.

A lot of times it's male specific sorts of things that just stick out to me, extra hair, the way my body is proportioned, odd things like that which just throw my body image off just a little bit. There are definitely times where I look at myself and love my body for its un-male aspects...or even male aspects, but being trans certainly complicates further what would otherwise be relatively simple body image issues.
07/26/2010
Contributor: *Keona* *Keona*
I think if I stopped watching tv I would be fine. Some days I'm fine with how I look and then I'll see a model or some other random female that makes me want to go run 100 miles until I've melted all the extra weight away. If I could get rid of my stomach and tone up my thighs I would be happy all the time with how I look.
07/27/2010
Contributor: Darling Jen Darling Jen
Something really interesting to note is that self-esteem and self concept (under which body image falls as a category) are different things. Self-esteem is the overall, general feeling about ourselves and our worth. It's the all-encompassing idea, like a summary. And self-concept are individual parts.

I'll use myself as an example:

My self-esteem is average, maybe just a little higher than being neutral. I think I'm a pretty worthwhile person and value myself and think I have worth in society.

My self-concept in math is excellent. I rock at math and got all As all the way up through Calculus and college level statistics.

My self-concept in playing sports is low. I suck at playing team sports and I'm not very athletic.

But that low self-concept doesn't lower my self-esteem because it's something I'm ok with not being good at. And body image is a category of self-concept too. So I wish I could choose that my self-esteem is pretty good but I definitely don't love my body. I'm working on it though since my partner loves it and that really helps me.

Hehe sorry for turning this into a lecture. I just figured it'd be interesting to at least one person. Maybe I've taken too many liberal arts classes.
07/27/2010
Contributor: ~LaUr3n~ ~LaUr3n~
I love my body, but that doesn't mean that I think I'm perfect.
07/27/2010
Contributor: Ajax Ajax
I definitely have good days and bad. Sometimes I think I look pretty great and other times I can't find something to not criticize about myself.
07/27/2010
Contributor: Beth D Beth D
Some days I think I'm A-okay the way I am, even if I'm on the overweight side of things, and there are certainly parts of myself that I genuinely do like, such as my eyes and lips. But then there are days when I just feel fugly. If there was a magic button I could push to make me drop a substantial amount of weight, I'd do it, but I'm not so worried about how I look to do the actual work to fix it.

Either that, or I'm just really, really lazy when it comes to getting off my ass...
07/27/2010
Contributor: Miss B Haven Miss B Haven
I used to love my body. After an illness though I have not been able to look at myself the same way I used to. I have inflamation that makes me look pregnant. One day I will get back to my old self and be happy again, so I really try to stay positive
07/27/2010
Contributor: Andromeda Andromeda
I picked the last option. Some days I think my body is amazing, and some days I don't. I blame hormones.
07/27/2010
Contributor: buzzvibe buzzvibe
Overall, I can't complain. If I had my druthers, I would have less wrinkles, nicer legs, and perky tits. Oh, and halfway decent hair.
07/27/2010
Contributor: joja joja
I've gotten over the idea of perfection and have chosen to love my body for what it is. Decided to stop trying to change myself, and never been happier.
07/27/2010
Contributor: PassionQT PassionQT
I could afford to lose ten pounds for myself and I'm trying, but I've received more compliments on being curvy than when I was very thin, and that makes me feel good.
07/27/2010
Contributor: fatesrelease fatesrelease
I am generally happy with the way I am. I love many things about myself. Few things I would change would be to get into shape. Lose the tummy and arm fat as well as slim and tone my thighs.
I think most people have things they'd like to improve. That doesn't mean I want to totally change who I am. I love who I am
07/27/2010
Contributor: Envy Envy
To be honest, I hate a lot of things about me. I want to change a LOT, but I can't. So a lot of times I just get adamant, and I don't even bother. People wonder why I don't 'doll up' and such and I'm like "Why bother? I'm not trying to impress anyone, I just don't care."
07/27/2010
Contributor: Annemarie Annemarie
Quote:
Originally posted by Alicia
I go back and forth. Honestly I could/should lose some weight, I know that. But some days I love my curves and other days I'm all "Ugh WTF I need to lose weight NOWWWWW"
DITTO! Completely.
07/27/2010
Contributor: Sir Sir
My self-esteem is great, but I would not mind to change a few things. Sure, I have my insecurities, my "don't touch" areas, but overall, I am happy in who and what I am, and proud in who I've become.
07/27/2010
Contributor: Jewelweed Jewelweed
Quote:
Originally posted by Midway through
I haven't seen anything on this. But I'm curious of how many people actually have a positive body image. Poll is private so no names will be shown, feel free to be honest. This is just something I've been thinking about a lot lately. I ... more
I do wonder how this poll would turn out if it were aimed outside of the EF community, you know? I feel like positive body-image and sex-positivity kinda go hand-in-hand...at least I know they do for me! I started loving sex a lot more once I started loving my own body.
07/27/2010
Contributor: Midway through Midway through
I've wondered the same thing. It seems like people who have more positivity in the sexual field, and more comfortable with their sexuality seem to have a bit better ideas about themselves. I'd love to see some sort of correlation on it.
07/28/2010
Contributor: Evoluchun Evoluchun
I have real low self esteem been tryin to work on it it just hasnt been the same since I was raped when I was 16 its been real hard even bein married that my husband finds me attractive when I just don't see it.
07/28/2010
Contributor: Liz2 Liz2
Overall, I am happy with the way I look. At times, I wish my boobs were larger then a B but with athletic pursuits they don't get in my way.
07/28/2010
Contributor: Sera Sera
My self esteem is flip flop. Sometimes I can really look good, sometimes I feel like I dont. Everyone always tells me I'm so pretty and cute, but I want to be hot and freakin sexy! I'm petite, I've been called a munchkin, and worse! I wish I were taller and my hair wasn't a blonde fro. I have to keep dying my hair red and purple and all other colors because I hate my natural hair color!
07/28/2010
Contributor: Victoria Victoria
I think it's part of the human condition to have fluctuating feelings about your body - seriously, what could be more personal than your body? Of course you over-analyze, even when you try not to. It happens to everyone - we expect so much from ourselves. Don't feel weird for having a few low days once in a while. It's really hard to be upbeat and accepting all the time.
07/28/2010
Contributor: Lustful Dreams Lustful Dreams
Somedays I love me ... other days I can't even stand to look in the mirror.
I believe we all have our "ugly" days where we just dislike anything that's going on - usually this falls on a bad hair day or bad make up day.

I'm definitely flip flop though. I've always had extremely low self esteem, especially after an abusive relationship. My fiance could tell me I'm attractive a thousand times a day and I tell him he's crazy.

I've been told I'm attractive but I've never been that girl that people "gawk" over and half the time when I had crushes when I was younger I was laughed at ... only natural I feel good some days and bad on others.
07/28/2010
Contributor: SexyySarah SexyySarah
For the most part I like my body, but if I could I would get my boobs done, and the other thing I don't like I'm working on and that is weight! only 15lbs to go!
07/28/2010
Contributor: Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
Quote:
Originally posted by Victoria
I think it's part of the human condition to have fluctuating feelings about your body - seriously, what could be more personal than your body? Of course you over-analyze, even when you try not to. It happens to everyone - we expect so much from ... more
I think you have it right. It's hard to look at a 55+ year old body and not cringe at the differences from your 'prime' - for me that was in my 20's. But by the same token, for a 55+ year old - I'm doing better than most. So it depends on my mind set that day.

I find that it's real important for me to compliment my spouse - to keep her from being disappointed that she's not at that perfect stage. Although she's only in her 40's - she's not going to ever be that fit 20-something she remembers!
07/28/2010