Should it be socially acceptable for young females to masturbate and/or use sex toys?

The New Intimacy

Should it be socially acceptable for young females to masturbate and/or use sex toys?

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Contributor: aliceinthehole aliceinthehole
Quote:
Originally posted by ToyGurl
That's exactly how I feel. I lost my virginity at 14 also, and honestly I do regret that. I didn't contract any diseases. My boyfriend at the time was a virgin, as was I. But we had unsafe sex, nonetheless. No condom, no birth control, and we ... more
while i'm all about education and not shaming regarding masturbation at all ages, i really dont think that introducing folks to sex play with toys or mutual masturbation is going to make them stay abstinent longer.

contrariwise, i think it would have an adverse effect.


that's like saying giving a kid one M&M is going to make him avoid wanting brownies, chocolate cakes, and cookies. or that giving a kid a joint is going to make him not want to try other drugs.

thats just silly.

if i had known more about mutual masturbation and sex toys at a younger age, i would've felt more comfortable with it, and probably would've lost my virginity sooner than i did, at age 17. i held off before then for religious beliefs and shame. if the shame was taken away, gone would also be the guilt, and i likely would've dove in, feeling more confident and experienced. skipping the exploration/trial runs and getting right down to business.

masturbation and sex toys for me spice up my sex life, spice up my sex DRIVE and make me... well, hornier.

07/06/2011
Contributor: heidi.carls heidi.carls
well it all depends if they are mature enough. if they are then by all means can underage girl be taught these things
07/06/2011
Contributor: MJ1337 MJ1337
Maybe if the underage kids had an outlet (like masturbation) they would less likely go out, have sex and get pregnant? At least it'll get the horny-ness out of their system!
07/11/2011
Contributor: bayosgirl bayosgirl
I think the problem that people have with underage females masturbating and using toys is that they believe it will cause the girl to automatically go out and have sex. THIS IS NOT TRUE! In fact, as several people have pointed out, masturbation allows the girl to get to know her body and pleasure it so that she doesn't have to rely on sex before she's ready.

I started masturbating at about 14, and didn't have sex until I was almost 19. I think if I had a slightly different personality (I was very shy and withdrawn in high school) and didn't masturbate, I may have lost my virginity sooner. Masturbation definitely helped me control my urges.

I don't know about "teaching" it, though. That would DEFINITELY be inappropriate for anyone but the mother, and then I don't know how it could be done without a lot of embarrassment on the part of both mother and daughter. I would say that girls should be encouraged to love their bodies and themselves, and that sexuality is not a dirty thing.
07/11/2011
Contributor: Beck Beck
yes masturbation is the only true safe sex abstinence is not sex!
07/14/2011
Contributor: exploringthechimera exploringthechimera
I just wrote an article for eden cafe that touches on this subject.
08/04/2011
Contributor: RonLee RonLee
Masturbation should be not only acceptable but encouraged for both young Males and young Females.
08/04/2011
Contributor: ChaosBunny ChaosBunny
I think that they have the right to masturbate and even use toys. I'm thinking it should be more open to society and if they want to be taught they should be able to get a hold of resources to contact for further information.
08/04/2011
Contributor: Avant-garde Avant-garde
Anyone should be allowed to masturbate male or female. I think your underestimating masturbation stigmas with men. There is still plenty of stigmas out there regarding male masturbation especially if it involves toys. I agree though that anyone over the age of 18 should be allowed to use toys, it may help to reduce certain problems.
08/23/2011
Contributor: IslandGoddess IslandGoddess
Masturbation should be your choice no one can stop someone form touching themselves you can do it in the shower or in the privacy of your bed room
08/28/2011
Contributor: EJ EJ
Yes, I think it should be socially acceptable for young women to masturbate. As far as the sex toys go, I think that most girls/young women are going to find objects with which to experiment anyway, so part of me says, "why not make the safe toys available to them?". On the other hand, I really enjoyed that "self-discovery" phase, that feeling of having a secret, of learning about my body on my own. I wonder if I would have enjoyed it half as much if I had heard the subject discussed openly before I had finished forming my own ideas about my body.
08/29/2011
Contributor: Gone (LD29) Gone (LD29)
Ok, newbie here with a new twist on the situation. Yes, I think anyone should be able to masturbate, and sex toys should be accessible for teenagers if they want them. Particularly penetration toys, and I'll tell you why.

I don't think having sex toys readily available as a teenager would have changed any sexual encounters I had with partners. It would, however, have had a huge impact on the unsafe ways I found to masturbate. I highly doubt I was the only girl who went through a phase of testing just about any household objects of approximately the right size/shape to see if it could be used as a dildo.

I used many objects that I know now were just unclean, unsanitary, unsafe, and just not smart to get my rocks off... everything from taper candles (one fell to pieces in me) to a screwdriver handle (yes I cleaned it first, but still) to the vibrator I found in my mom's drawer (I didn't know the rules for sharing toys, and no, I never told her).

I made it through this phase relatively unharmed, thank goodness. As an adult I only put things in me that are designed to go there. Oh to have had the option sooner to have toys made from body safe materials, and the knowledge to use and care for them properly.
09/19/2011
Contributor: Princess-Kayla ♥ Princess-Kayla ♥
I do think that it should be socially acceptable for girls to masturbate. My mom always told me to never ever touch my clit, because it's bad. And blah blah blah. I don't think there's anything wrong with girls masturbating, especially since it's ok for boys to do it. It's like people expect them to do it at a young age. But if girls do it, it's super taboo.
09/21/2011
Contributor: PussyPurr PussyPurr
I used toys for masturbating when I was a young child....except my toy was my poor Raggedy Ann's foot, which was shaped perfectly to fit in the right spot! LOL
09/21/2011
Contributor: KittenPrincess KittenPrincess
Quote:
Originally posted by Gone (LD29)
Ok, newbie here with a new twist on the situation. Yes, I think anyone should be able to masturbate, and sex toys should be accessible for teenagers if they want them. Particularly penetration toys, and I'll tell you why.

I don't ... more
Completely agree. You're definitely not the only one who went through that embarrassing household object phase, lol.
09/22/2011
Contributor: Gone (LD29) Gone (LD29)
Quote:
Originally posted by KittenPrincess
Completely agree. You're definitely not the only one who went through that embarrassing household object phase, lol.
Good to know!
09/23/2011
Contributor: Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
(EF Review Program Mentor)
Quote:
Originally posted by ToyGurl
Hey everyone. My name is Mandy and I promote masturbation and safe sex in my area in hopes to lower the rate of teen pregnancy, STD, and abortions. Masturbation is good for anyone in so many ways, and I'm sure many of you know that since you are ... more
I don't think that sex toys are necessary for masturbation for a child/teen but I don't see it as any of my business what my children do to pleasure themselves as long as they don't injure themselves.
My girls see no value in sex toys at age 13 and 15...they find them odd and a bit weird to tell the truth. But if they were to ask I would be willing to entertain the notion of buying them a toy or two...so long as they don't feel the need to share their experiences with me. I would be sure they know to properly care for it and stuff but after that I am kinda not wanting to know.
When they are old enough to buy them for themselves I probably wouldn't mind talking toys but right now none of us are comfortable with the idea.
03/01/2012
Contributor: Roz W Roz W
I could do stuff to myself at a relatively early age, and had a lot of shame and confusion around it. Anything that says "this is normal" and encourages vagina-owners to connect to their bodies is a good thing. I think it helps self-esteem and other issues if girls/women can learn about their bodies for their own pleasure before they see it as someone else's.

I'm interested in how you manage to get the message across to minors, though. Because I think it's something that needs to happen, but often seems impossible to address.
03/02/2012
Contributor: Zombirella Zombirella
Quote:
Originally posted by ToyGurl
Hey everyone. My name is Mandy and I promote masturbation and safe sex in my area in hopes to lower the rate of teen pregnancy, STD, and abortions. Masturbation is good for anyone in so many ways, and I'm sure many of you know that since you are ... more
Yes. I think it's cruel for anyone to scold a child or make them feel guilty for exploring their body and using self pleasure.
03/02/2012
Contributor: scaredlittleboy scaredlittleboy
Quote:
Originally posted by ToyGurl
Great answer! When I said taught, this is what I meant: something I come across a lot at the meetings with planned parenthood and other organizations is that girls don't know the anatomy of their lady garden. They don't know how to go about ... more
I definitely agree with this. "Teaching" doesn't have to mean coercion. It just means letting girls know what's going on with their bodies, because female masturbation is less straightforward than male masturbation.
03/02/2012
Contributor: oneeyedoctopus oneeyedoctopus
Nothing wrong with it. I started when I was about 10. I didn't realize it was sexual until years later. I didn't learn the word masturbation until I was in high school. I think if you're not taught to be ashamed of your body and that touching yourself sexually is wrong, then it is a discovery most girls would make on their own. You don't need to know what a clitoris is called to know that it feels good to touch it.
03/03/2012
Contributor: BlooJay BlooJay
I think so.
03/03/2012
Contributor: freda freda
Quote:
Originally posted by ToyGurl
Hey everyone. My name is Mandy and I promote masturbation and safe sex in my area in hopes to lower the rate of teen pregnancy, STD, and abortions. Masturbation is good for anyone in so many ways, and I'm sure many of you know that since you are ... more
Yes, females should be taught and able to masturbate guilt free
03/03/2012
Contributor: Stinkytofu10 Stinkytofu10
You're posting this question on EF, whose website and forums promote sex-positive and accepting views on sexuality of all people. I wonder if you would get as open and supportive responses as you received here if you posted elsewhere, say on local community forums
03/03/2012
Contributor: ViVix ViVix
Quote:
Originally posted by ToyGurl
Hey everyone. My name is Mandy and I promote masturbation and safe sex in my area in hopes to lower the rate of teen pregnancy, STD, and abortions. Masturbation is good for anyone in so many ways, and I'm sure many of you know that since you are ... more
I know as a parent that it will be incredibly hard to talk to my daughter about masturbation. It's difficult for me to even talk to partners about it because of the way I was raised. While I think it's normal and healthy, I'm never going to be comfortable buying my daughter a sex toy. Underage girls with sex toys might be MORE encouraged to have sex. Just my opinion.
03/03/2012
Contributor: kitty377 kitty377
My masturbation story: never was really aware that a girl could have an orgasm for most of high school, I actually had sexual experiences with boys (not actual intercourse) before I had an orgasm. After my first boyfriend tried over and over to "make me go" by violently ramming his fingers into me I got fed up, went home, locked my door and gave my self an orgasm successfully in like no time at all. I was 17 years old. I wish I would have known I could do that earlier!!!!!

I wish that female masturbation was made to seem normal, I knew boys did it but I didn't even know I could!!!! Masturbation is amazing and there is nothing wrong with it, if I had a daughter I would be totally fine with her masturbating and if she wanted a sex toy I would most certainly get one for her. 98% of americans have premarital sex and the people who are in denial and preventing the younger generations from knowing this are just holding everyone back from being sexually healthy and expressive.
03/04/2012
Contributor: tigertiger tigertiger
Quote:
Originally posted by ToyGurl
Hey everyone. My name is Mandy and I promote masturbation and safe sex in my area in hopes to lower the rate of teen pregnancy, STD, and abortions. Masturbation is good for anyone in so many ways, and I'm sure many of you know that since you are ... more
what i was taught about masturbation: "........"

i figured it out by myself, but not until i was 19 or 20. not fair, says i
03/05/2012
Contributor: C-Rae C-Rae
It's all about equality
03/06/2012
Contributor: plaidvulva plaidvulva
How can you love another if you can not properly love yourself? lol.

Voted other. Would have voted for the fourth one, but the word "taught" threw me out of it. Makes it feel like you need to learn to masturbate in order to do it. "Got my masturbation license today! It's now officially 100% guilt free guys!" lol. I know that's not what you meant, but I can't help but feel that way.

The point of the option stands though. Boys and girls should be able to masturbate all they want [in private] completely guilt free and should be allowed to purchase anything they want to amplify it. I can understand not wanting a 14 year old into a some of the 18+ shops, but places like Spencers which has sex toys mixed in with every day items like clothing should be allowed to sell them to girls/boys of any age (ok, I suppose a three year old might be a tad too young, but you get my drift).
03/08/2012
Contributor: Nissa Nissa Nissa Nissa
Not sure about exposing them to toys but I believe masturbation shouldn't be a no-no.
03/08/2012