Any help for a girl who can't get off?

nori nori
(without toys!)

I feel like I have tried everything. Hooking my fingers, going fast, going slow, taking hours to warm up and get in the moon, shower head, bath faucet. My partner has tried everythign they can think of.. But i'm completely unable to, without something buzzing at my button. Help?
06/13/2012
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XYCopperheadSly XYCopperheadSly
:/ Some women just need some horsepower behind their orgasms (or so I've read). Assuming you CAN get off WITH toys, rejoice!
06/13/2012
ghalik ghalik
That is partially why vibrators were invented and are still popular! Don't feel bad, it's just another variation in humans. If it's any consolation I can't orgasm clitorally with anything under 5 vrooms, including every imaginable finger activity and faucet action.
06/13/2012
VioletMoonstone VioletMoonstone
This is probably too much info to be sharing but I can't get off without some sort of stimulation to my nips. If they don't get touched then I just can't finish. Maybe you need some boob loving. lol
06/13/2012
elrique elrique
Lol, on a sex how to forum there's probably no such thing as tmi, violet moonstone

I'd like to offer that your mental state has a great impact on arousal and orgasms, at least in my experience. So, if it's become a big deal, and I can see it becoming frustrating, that frustration can be standing in the way. Try and relax and and pay close attention to each and every sensation, knowing full well that you have that buzzer if all else fails
06/14/2012
PassionateLover2 PassionateLover2
I was going to mention the idea of trying to 'relax' in some way that 'elrique' posted above.

Another suggestion my be to explore the Art of Cunnilingus. There is an excellent book by Violet Blue titled, “The Ultimate Guide to Cunnilingus”, 2nd edition and published 2010, How to go down on a woman and give her exquisite pleasure. There are some excellent suggestions in relaxing, patience, and the arousal nature of this sexual activity.

Cunnilingus is an age-old practice dating back as early as 300 BC which is the practice of oral stimulation of the females genitals. When people who enjoy oral sex, enjoy it purely for the sensation and that both partners are active. The woman who receives cunnilingus is just as much a participant and entirely up to her in the act as the person who is doing the licking. There is nothing that compares to the warm, wet feeling of a lover’s mouth caressing your most sensitive (clitoris) and private parts. The intimacy and sexual closeness that cunnilingus provides is incredibly arousing for many people. When you're with your lover, going down on her can provide a rush of erotic intimacy that is a very powerful aphrodisiac. Some people also view it as an appetizer to the main course. Having a skilled and knowledgable lover, who knows female anatomy and how women like to be licked, is a circumstance that many women dream about. The softness of a pair of lips, the heat of a mouth, and the slick feeling of a tongue sliding around and over the vulva is a sensation like no other. The feel of a lover’s mouth on a woman’s genitals offers sensations that fingers, sex toys, and penises simply can’t provide.

It doesn't hurt to study this subject; it may make all the difference in kick-starting your sexual bliss!
06/14/2012
vanilla&chocolate vanilla&chocolate
Make sure you're relaxed and in a place where you won't be bothered! If you're stressed, cumming will be even harder. Do you fantasize about sexual things? For women, the brain is as much a part of masturbation as the clit, so if you're thinking of something that really arouses you, that will help! If you're interested, my favorite vibrator is the We-Vibe Salsa - it's rechargeable and the highest setting is 4800 RPMs!
06/15/2012
MistressDandelion MistressDandelion
The only advice I can give you is to not focus on getting off itself. If you have problems you'll feel frustrated and not enjoy what you have.

Also, as other people said, use your brain, close your eyes, imagine and anticipate what your partner might do to you instead of just watching.

Relaxing may help, but as someone who has orgasms since the age of four, I never relax. I need to cut my breath and be as tense as possible. Being that tense makes me squeeze and feel better what I'm doing. But maybe I'm just a freak who's into erotic autoasphyxia. Obviously you shouldn't use objects to strangle you, just cut volontarly your breath so you can start breathing again whenever you need it. But then again maybe I'm a freak. Probably am. *sigh*.
06/17/2012
Vaginas Vaginas
Quote:
Originally posted by nori
(without toys!)

I feel like I have tried everything. Hooking my fingers, going fast, going slow, taking hours to warm up and get in the moon, shower head, bath faucet. My partner has tried everythign they can think of.. But i'm completely ... More
I didn't have my first orgasm until I was 18 years old. and because I squirt I ended up feeling really self confident about it. so I still have a hard time cumming sometimes because I'm self conscious. that and it's such a hassle to grab a towel to sit on and whatnot. that and if I think about it too much I won't be able to cum. so I find it very challenging to cum most of the time. but I've been trying to practice with toys so that it'll be easier to cum when I'm with my partner
06/19/2012
Sangsara Sangsara
L-argenine, which can be found in many clit or g- spot stim gels can be amazing. It's an amino acid that works as a vassal dilator basically a topical female Viagra that makes blood rush to the surface. I can't get off without it and I looked it up online, trying to find something against the ingredient and I can't! It's great for high blood pressure and helps produce amazing orgasms which we all know are extremely healthy.
06/19/2012
heather-mooney heather-mooney
agree with cunnilingus. are you against using toys with your partner?
07/29/2012
Tiffany Rose Tiffany Rose
I have the same problem !!! i mean i also have to do a little extra with my partner like touching my clit or using a toy or i just fake it n when i get home i use a toy. i have to have some clit action
07/31/2012
MrPink MrPink
Quote:
Originally posted by Tiffany Rose
I have the same problem !!! i mean i also have to do a little extra with my partner like touching my clit or using a toy or i just fake it n when i get home i use a toy. i have to have some clit action
So what's the problem? There's no reason he can't also stimulate your clitoris while involved with other activities. Unless he's being selfish he should be spending some (at least half) of your time together making you feel good. Make sure he knows and it won't be an issue.

Back on topic, as a man who cannot seem to experience orgasms during intercourse, count yourself lucky toy action works for you. If anything works stick to it and maybe work out from there, trying different variations/ deviations of that core experience. By slightly tweaking your 'play' you may find other things that work for you. Even if expanding doesn't work I'm sure your man does not have an issue using additional aids to get you off. I personally enjoy exploring the additional options allowed by toys.
07/31/2012
Woman China Woman China
You know... I wouldn't really worry about it too much. You are very normal.

You have tried things... try some more. But what ever you do, don't think that there is something wrong with you.

Before sex toys became popular, can you imagine how many women were not orgasming? You can orgasm, but with a toy. That is better than nothing!!!

But, if you really want to give it a go, try not using a toy or any type of stimulation on your clit for one to two weeks. Think of it like a "clit re-boot". Then try.
07/31/2012
Total posts: 14
Unique posters: 14