New to Eden, New to Exploration!

luvanurse luvanurse
found EF about 6 months ago, and I have enjoyed reading and learning from all the discussions by such knowledgeable people. I have finally got up enough courage to share my "problem" with you, in hopes that you can help me, or at least steer me in the right direction.

I have been happily married for 14 years. But, I will admit, I have never masturbated. Shockingly as it may sound, it is true.

Before reading this forum, I really never knew there were different types of orgasms (clitoral, g-spot, vaginal).

I always thought what I was feeling once I was turned on my hubby kissing/sucking my breasts and getting to a "peak" and then penile penetration following was an orgasm. But now I am doubting if that is even the big "O," since there was no clitoral or g-spot stimulation during the act.

So, where do I go from here? How can I be confident that I am experiencing the most pleasure I can? I have heard from many that if you have to question/ask if you have had an orgasm, you probably haven't because you would surely know.

Any suggestions/help would be greatly appreciated!
02/04/2013
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LuckyLady LuckyLady
Quote:
Originally posted by luvanurse
found EF about 6 months ago, and I have enjoyed reading and learning from all the discussions by such knowledgeable people. I have finally got up enough courage to share my "problem" with you, in hopes that you can help me, or at least ... More
Woohoo! I might have some advice for ya! Ready?
Ok, first I don't want to sound pervy but can you describe what your orgasms feel like? Most might say if you aren't sure then you ain't havin' one but I don't want to just assume that they're not real. It's true there are some women who just can't have an orgasm and there are also alot who can only get it through clitoral or g-spot stimulation, but there are also those who can get it through penetration alone.
An orgasm is basically a climax. You ascend through pleasure then you decline. I'll describe mine maybe it'll help.

Ok, so before I orgasm I feel an intense pleasure, like the pleasure builds up and I feel like I need a release and my body starts to tense a bit, then I orgasm and feel a huge release, like my body just hit the peak of ultimate pleasure and the high is coming down, during which my body sort of pulses from the pleasure, like I can feel my heartbeat down there lol. Then when I descend I feel euphoric. That's basically the feel good endorphins hitting me in the face lol. Ok, well that's my description of an orgasm, god hope it wasn't too graphic lol. They're not all like that; I've had orgasms that were so small I've questioned if I've cum or not before, lol. But I tend to only orgasm through clitoral stimulation so my orgasm is focused in that region, I assume the feelings would be similar just internal when it comes to penetration orgasms.

So, if during sex you feel like a build up of pleasure but no release of it I think we can say you haven't had an orgasm.

If you think you haven't I would totally suggest masturbating. Not only will this increase the likelihood of achieving an orgasm (because you get to control the sensations and do what you like) but you also learn and explore your likes and turn ons. This could take alot of practice but I've heard the more you practice orgasming the more often and quicker you will during sex (assuming he's hitting the right spots!)

And Edenfantasys is the best place to be for this ish. There are so many different toys here that are perfect for beginners! I'd say take it slow and get something basic then work your way up. First though use your hands and experiment with different sensations a little. Then use that as a guide for picking out your toys. Example: try lightly tickling your inner thighs and lady "area". like it? order a tantric feather tickler or something similar. like fingering? get a basic small vibe, take out the batteries and try using that. move up to turning it on to get accustomed to vibes and see how you like it.

There are also some AWESOME articles here on EF in their SEXIS magazine. I'm going to link you a few. I hope they help!

link
link
link
02/05/2013
luvanurse luvanurse
Quote:
Originally posted by LuckyLady
Woohoo! I might have some advice for ya! Ready?
Ok, first I don't want to sound pervy but can you describe what your orgasms feel like? Most might say if you aren't sure then you ain't havin' one but I don't want to just ... More
Thanks, LuckyLady for taking the time to answer my question. As for me, I feel that "pulsating" in my vagina when I feel like I am having my orgasm. I am so tense right beforehand as you have described.

However, I more feel like I have the "control" to when I want to release. Usually when I "can't stand it anymore" that's when I will relax. I can't say I feel euphoric afterwards, I feel tired and worn out! LOL.

Since I have never explored "down there," I guess that should be my next step. It makes me so nervous just thinking about doing that. I know, I am lame!

I did order the Ella, hoping that will help me discover my g spot.

I like feeling pressure above my pubic area. I find myself grinding on my husband when fully clothed on top of him when he is kissing my chest. I am not sure what that means, but I am noticing more what my body is doing.
02/05/2013
LuckyLady LuckyLady
Quote:
Originally posted by luvanurse
Thanks, LuckyLady for taking the time to answer my question. As for me, I feel that "pulsating" in my vagina when I feel like I am having my orgasm. I am so tense right beforehand as you have described.

However, I more feel like I ... More
you're welcome doll glad I can help =D

Hah! Worn out and tired is a good sign maybe you are orgasming? Mine make me awake though, unless I'm just plain tuckered out.

Yeah, masturbating can feel silly sometimes but don't feel nervous. (and no, you're not lame!) It's just YOU after all, no one's watching. I feel tense when I explore sometimes so I just relax my body and take it slow. Try that =) Watch a sexy movie and just gently touch your body or run a bubble bath and explore with the shower head =D Things like that have helped me relax in the past when I started exploring.

Yup, if you're finding yourself grinding you're already doing a bit of exploration and feeding into your likes =D

Good luck!
02/05/2013
Total posts: 4
Unique posters: 2