The Commandments of Sex Toys

So I'm new here, and since the community has been very welcoming so far, I wanted to stimulate (see what I did there?) some discussion.

I know there are some rules you follow after experience with toys. Some are based on experience, others common sense, others just your own preference and personality. I'll start with a few, and you can feel free to add your own.

THOU SHALT NOT SKIP WARMING UP!- This is especially important with larger toys. You're dealing with sensitive areas that only relax when you allow them to, and warming up will help to avoid pain and suffering. A little lube, a finger, a smaller toy... these things are priceless.


THOU SHALT KEEP A DRY HAND!- Okay, so this one is from personal experience. As technology advances, you end up with vibrators with different types of dials and controls, and materials that are more slippery than a dog in a bathtub. If you allow both hands to become lubricated, trouble will follow. Try turning up or down a rotating base of a vibrator with a slippery hand. Frustrating! Follow the rule- one hand for lubrication, one hand for control.


Feel free to add your own! less

Thou shalt NOT stick items up your ass that could be shoved completely up your ass. Length is not an excuse and will not guarrantee that your hungry ass won't munch an entire 11 inch cucumber.

Thou shalt confine anal play to items specifically designed for anal play, vegetables are not designed for anal play. Neither are lighbulbs, children's toys, living animals or glass bottles designed to be shoved up your ass.

Thou shalt not mistake your vacuum cleaner for a sex toy.

Thou shalt patch test all silicone toys before slathering them with silicone lube.

Thou shalt NOT share jelly, rubber or latex toys without covering them with a condom.

Thou shalt Not stick a naked toy up your ass, then stick it in your pussy before licking it clean. For goodness sweet sake keep anal toys for anal activities. If this is too difficult use silicone, glass, metal, or ceramic and boil, bleach or otherwise thoroughly clean toys that are too perfect for ass and pussy!

Thou shalt NOT buzz your partner's clit to complete numbness just cause she makes funny faces when she's tied up.

Thou shalt stop anal penetration at the first ouch...not three minutes later!

Thou shalt not pass on erroneous and possibly dangerous urban myths about women's bodies. >.<

Thou shalt understand that desiring anal penetration doesn't mean you are gay...desiring anal penetration from a warm cock with a man attached means you are possibly gay. If you also enjoy a warm living pussy then you are bi-sexual.

Thou shalt always use lubricant suitable to your needs when being penetrated by a toy, your vaginal (or anal) tissues will thank you. less

Thou shalt NOT stick items up your ass that could be shoved completely up your ass. Length is not an excuse and will not guarrantee that your hungry ass won't munch an entire 11 inch cucumber.

Thou shalt confine anal play to items specifically designed for anal play, vegetables are not designed for anal play. Neither are lighbulbs, children's toys, living animals or glass bottles designed to be shoved up your ass.

Thou shalt not mistake your vacuum cleaner for a sex toy.

Thou shalt patch test all silicone toys before slathering them with silicone lube.

Thou shalt NOT share jelly, rubber or latex toys without covering them with a condom.

Thou shalt Not stick a naked toy up your ass, then stick it in your pussy before licking it clean. For goodness sweet sake keep anal toys for anal activities. If this is too difficult use silicone, glass, metal, or ceramic and boil, bleach or otherwise thoroughly clean toys that are too perfect for ass and pussy!

Thou shalt NOT buzz your partner's clit to complete numbness just cause she makes funny faces when she's tied up.

Thou shalt stop anal penetration at the first ouch...not three minutes later!

Thou shalt not pass on erroneous and possibly dangerous urban myths about women's bodies. >.<

Thou shalt understand that desiring anal penetration doesn't mean you are gay...desiring anal penetration from a warm cock with a man attached means you are possibly gay. If you also enjoy a warm living pussy then you are bi-sexual.

Thou shalt always use lubricant suitable to your needs when being penetrated by a toy, your vaginal (or anal) tissues will thank you. less

Thou shalt not leave toys and lube out where it will embarrass your partner(s) and children when visitors come over!

Thou shalt not share pictures of your toys in use in your review just because it's a cute pic of your pussy! Thou shalt save that pic to use as your avatar. less

Thou shalt NOT stick items up your ass that could be shoved completely up your ass. Length is not an excuse and will not guarrantee that your hungry ass won't munch an entire 11 inch cucumber.

Thou shalt confine anal play to items specifically designed for anal play, vegetables are not designed for anal play. Neither are lighbulbs, children's toys, living animals or glass bottles designed to be shoved up your ass.

Thou shalt not mistake your vacuum cleaner for a sex toy.

Thou shalt patch test all silicone toys before slathering them with silicone lube.

Thou shalt NOT share jelly, rubber or latex toys without covering them with a condom.

Thou shalt Not stick a naked toy up your ass, then stick it in your pussy before licking it clean. For goodness sweet sake keep anal toys for anal activities. If this is too difficult use silicone, glass, metal, or ceramic and boil, bleach or otherwise thoroughly clean toys that are too perfect for ass and pussy!

Thou shalt NOT buzz your partner's clit to complete numbness just cause she makes funny faces when she's tied up.

Thou shalt stop anal penetration at the first ouch...not three minutes later!

Thou shalt not pass on erroneous and possibly dangerous urban myths about women's bodies. >.<

Thou shalt understand that desiring anal penetration doesn't mean you are gay...desiring anal penetration from a warm cock with a man attached means you are possibly gay. If you also enjoy a warm living pussy then you are bi-sexual.

Thou shalt always use lubricant suitable to your needs when being penetrated by a toy, your vaginal (or anal) tissues will thank you. less

Thou shalt not grab the silicone lube bottle too forcefully, lest it shoot right out of your hand and fly across the room.

(and I guess the best preventative commandment for that one is...)
Thou shalt not get silicone lube all over the outside of the silicone lube bottle. less

Thou shalt not grab the silicone lube bottle too forcefully, lest it shoot right out of your hand and fly across the room.

(and I guess the best preventative commandment for that one is...)
Thou shalt not get silicone lube all over the outside of the silicone lube bottle. less