We have a ton of non-vibrating dildos. Everything from the steel Njoy Pure Wand and Eleven, the Alumina Flow - to the premium silicone O2 Revolution, Viskin Johnny and Outlaw and many glass wands. With the hard toys you have to be really careful not to bruise her cervix.
Maybe the following experiences may be useful:
Start small in size - and shallow in penetration
As she becomes more aroused, she may press her hips toward you indicating that she wants you to go a little deeper
Metal and glass are nice because they are typically so smooth that you may not need lubrication - and you can adjust their temperature to add variety.
My wife likes them warm in the winter and cool in the summer (although some do, we never go so far as to artificially cool them down)
When using silicone - my wife doesn't like the old harder designs anymore. Only O2 or Vixskin will do
The drag associated with the silicone makes lubrication an absolute must for us
After some oral and a warmup with a smaller metal or glass dildo, I move onto one of the larger silicone toys (with lube)
We always have a wand or clitoral vibe withing reach so that when she's ready she'll grab one and take care of adding the finishing 'touch'
We do this for the first 2-3 orgasms - then move on to intercourse
Your wife's preferences may be all different. Everything I do is the result of responding to my wife's reactions. Pay attention to her level of lubrication and breathing patterns - ask her to give you some verbal clues when you hit the right spots - groans are completely acceptable!
Above all keep it fun and don't be afraid to laugh when you screw-up.
Good luck and enjoy the fun of learning