this is in reference to people saying they are a virgin cuz they have never had sex, but they masterbate, is that the same?
Are you a virgin after you masturbate?
01/17/2011
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I'm saying other. It's my personal opinion that a person is a virgin until they've had any kind of non-oral sex with another human being, but a vast majority of people view it as the physical popping (breaking? tearing? I'm not sure what the scientific term is, lol) of the hymen.
So it's a point of view thing.
So it's a point of view thing.
01/17/2011
I do believe someone posted this exact same thing within the past few days.
01/17/2011
I am undecided on this topic. =( sorry I couldn't be of more help.
01/17/2011
Emotionally yes, your a virgin until you experience sex with a partner, But physically if you've been experiencing a lot of penetration with toys, I'm a 'no' vote on being a virgin.
01/17/2011
As I see it, for girls and guys, until you experience true penetration during intercourse, you're a virgin.
I can go screw a Fleshlight 100 times over, I still don't truthfully think anyone would go telling their friends "I finally got laid last night! By a Fleshlight!"
I can go screw a Fleshlight 100 times over, I still don't truthfully think anyone would go telling their friends "I finally got laid last night! By a Fleshlight!"
01/17/2011
in my opinion you are a virgin until you expirece real sex
01/17/2011
I think penetration is where I draw the virgin/no virgin line but I think it's really a matter of personal interpretation. And I have to be honest, I hate the label thing. Virgin or not a virgin, whatever. Be safe, have fun, and stick to your personal values and you can't go wrong.
01/17/2011
Quote:
If you think that someone who has penetrated themelves with toys isn't a virgin, then do you also think a man who has used a masturbator isn't a virgin?
Originally posted by
Gunsmoke
Emotionally yes, your a virgin until you experience sex with a partner, But physically if you've been experiencing a lot of penetration with toys, I'm a 'no' vote on being a virgin.
01/17/2011
My definition is that you are a virgin until you have sex with another person, so you would still be a virgin if you masturbate. I also think it is up to the individual what they consider to be sex. For me oral sex for the first time was a bigger deal than the first time I had PIV sex. By the time we got to that I already felt like we'd been having sex for a while.
01/17/2011
I agree with most other people, that when you've had sex with another person, you are no longer a virgin. That can mean different things to different people. For me, I believe I stopped being a virgin the first time I had PIV sex, not when I started masturbating, having oral sex, or otherwise. But that's just me.
01/17/2011
Quote:
The thing is, there is a large percentage of the female population who have no hymen at all. So that's not really a true indicator.
Originally posted by
Beth D
I'm saying other. It's my personal opinion that a person is a virgin until they've had any kind of non-oral sex with another human being, but a vast majority of people view it as the physical popping (breaking? tearing? I'm not sure
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I'm saying other. It's my personal opinion that a person is a virgin until they've had any kind of non-oral sex with another human being, but a vast majority of people view it as the physical popping (breaking? tearing? I'm not sure what the scientific term is, lol) of the hymen.
So it's a point of view thing. less
So it's a point of view thing. less
Ultimately, there are a few reasons one might be penetrated with an object of some kind before they engage in sexual intercourse and you could debate both sides of whether or not this makes someone a virgin or not.
My question is, why does it matter? If you've used tampons, be subject to a GYN exam or penetrated yourself with fingers or a toy before engaging in sexual activity with another person, does this change anything about you at all? Should it matter to your partner in any way?
01/17/2011
Quote:
On a similar note, what about someone who is very sexual but has no interest in being penetration? If they are sleeping around or even just engaging in serial monogamy are they still a virgin?
Originally posted by
LicentiouslyYours
The thing is, there is a large percentage of the female population who have no hymen at all. So that's not really a true indicator.
Ultimately, there are a few reasons one might be penetrated with an object of some kind before they engage ... more
Ultimately, there are a few reasons one might be penetrated with an object of some kind before they engage ... more
The thing is, there is a large percentage of the female population who have no hymen at all. So that's not really a true indicator.
Ultimately, there are a few reasons one might be penetrated with an object of some kind before they engage in sexual intercourse and you could debate both sides of whether or not this makes someone a virgin or not.
My question is, why does it matter? If you've used tampons, be subject to a GYN exam or penetrated yourself with fingers or a toy before engaging in sexual activity with another person, does this change anything about you at all? Should it matter to your partner in any way? less
Ultimately, there are a few reasons one might be penetrated with an object of some kind before they engage in sexual intercourse and you could debate both sides of whether or not this makes someone a virgin or not.
My question is, why does it matter? If you've used tampons, be subject to a GYN exam or penetrated yourself with fingers or a toy before engaging in sexual activity with another person, does this change anything about you at all? Should it matter to your partner in any way? less
01/17/2011
Quote:
Yes I'd say that's true - but not many teen boys have access to a masturbator. We're way more likely to find a willing partner than a sex toy - and that's a good thing.
Originally posted by
Coralbell
If you think that someone who has penetrated themelves with toys isn't a virgin, then do you also think a man who has used a masturbator isn't a virgin?
And by the way - I agree with those that say it's not that important. I never ranked virginity as a factor when dating. There may be those that do but I think their priorities are in the wrong place.
01/17/2011
Quote:
What about if they used their hands? Hope you don't think I'm pestering you, I'm just curious about your opinion.
Originally posted by
Gunsmoke
Yes I'd say that's true - but not many teen boys have access to a masturbator. We're way more likely to find a willing partner than a sex toy - and that's a good thing.
And by the way - I agree with those that say it's not ... more
And by the way - I agree with those that say it's not ... more
Yes I'd say that's true - but not many teen boys have access to a masturbator. We're way more likely to find a willing partner than a sex toy - and that's a good thing.
And by the way - I agree with those that say it's not that important. I never ranked virginity as a factor when dating. There may be those that do but I think their priorities are in the wrong place. less
And by the way - I agree with those that say it's not that important. I never ranked virginity as a factor when dating. There may be those that do but I think their priorities are in the wrong place. less
01/17/2011
sex needs another person- sex toys don't really count as partners(i still consider them a virgin even if they broke their hymen)
01/17/2011
Quote:
There is always another level to these arguments. For example if same sex marriage is OK, why is polygamy banned? I see no movement to legalize polygamy which has a long history in the human race - frankly I think polygamy should be legal.
Originally posted by
Coralbell
What about if they used their hands? Hope you don't think I'm pestering you, I'm just curious about your opinion.
This is why purists take the opinion that any sexual activity would mean you are not a virgin.
My opinion has no particular value - but for what it's worth, my opinion is that manual masturbation does not affect ones status as virgin. Being the parent of both a boy and girl I witnessed my daughter masturbating long before she understood what she was doing. From my POV that was normal personal exploration.
I may be giving the wrong impression here - I don't place value on virginity. To me the whole discussion perpetuates a largely fictional concept.
01/17/2011
Virginity does not involve any state of the hymen. If that were so then all men would be born non-virgin (would that mean all men were sluts?)
You are always intimate with yourself, even if you do not engage in sexual activities with yourself. Therefore you cannot loose your virginity to yourself unless everyone has lost their virginity to themselves.
I'm curious why BethD specifically excludes oral sex.
You are always intimate with yourself, even if you do not engage in sexual activities with yourself. Therefore you cannot loose your virginity to yourself unless everyone has lost their virginity to themselves.
I'm curious why BethD specifically excludes oral sex.
01/17/2011
I agree with liilii080 "And I have to be honest, I hate the label thing. Virgin or not a virgin, whatever. Be safe, have fun, and stick to your personal values" As far as what a virgin is and is not. Everyone has their own individual perspective and experiences regarding sex. I let the individual define it to whatever works best for them, intercourse or not. As far as the relationship between masturbation and sex; masturbation and intercourse are members of the class of sex.
01/18/2011
If masturbation ends your virginity, I was a lot cooler in high school than I thought I was.
01/18/2011
I think you're only no longer a virgin after penetrative sex with a living partner.
01/18/2011
We might have all lost our virginity in the womb if that is how you lose your virginity. It's pretty well known that fetuses kind of play with themselves. Nothing better to do in there. It might not be entirely conscious, but nor is some masturbation of the child and adult sort that is still considered masturbation.
I feel strongly that virginity is a person-to-person thing involving intercourse of the genital to genital kind. But even then, that might not feel like the loss of virginity to some engaged in humpy play. It's up to what we think.
Virginity is complicated in my mind. It has never been a crossing the street thing to me. Virginity comes in a layers like an onion in my mind.
The old hymen breakage test thing is a bit of "ancient wisdom" akin to mice come from hay. Hymens may tear easily from various physical activities and tampons. Hymens can say something about experience, but it cannot be relied on. And yes, if virginity was based on hymen, then there would be nothing to base a male's virginity on. But we all know historically, theirs has not mattered as much as they were never as much seen as commodities. :/
If you feel you have crossed the line of no return, then you can count yourself no longer innocent. But most people don't think of masturbation as sexual initiation, so it could be misleading to say you are no longer a virgin after that.
I admit I valued my virginity a bit. But putting so much value on it that people judge people by it is sad and can be terrible.
We should take care with our bodies, but the label virgin should not matter so much.
I feel strongly that virginity is a person-to-person thing involving intercourse of the genital to genital kind. But even then, that might not feel like the loss of virginity to some engaged in humpy play. It's up to what we think.
Virginity is complicated in my mind. It has never been a crossing the street thing to me. Virginity comes in a layers like an onion in my mind.
The old hymen breakage test thing is a bit of "ancient wisdom" akin to mice come from hay. Hymens may tear easily from various physical activities and tampons. Hymens can say something about experience, but it cannot be relied on. And yes, if virginity was based on hymen, then there would be nothing to base a male's virginity on. But we all know historically, theirs has not mattered as much as they were never as much seen as commodities. :/
If you feel you have crossed the line of no return, then you can count yourself no longer innocent. But most people don't think of masturbation as sexual initiation, so it could be misleading to say you are no longer a virgin after that.
I admit I valued my virginity a bit. But putting so much value on it that people judge people by it is sad and can be terrible.
We should take care with our bodies, but the label virgin should not matter so much.
01/18/2011
Quote:
I didn't mean that men were sluts for not having hymens, lol. I realized belatedly that that comment I made about some people thinking the hymen had anything to do with it excluded males. My bad. I don't think the hymen has anything to do with it anyway, just to clarify.
Originally posted by
ScottA
Virginity does not involve any state of the hymen. If that were so then all men would be born non-virgin (would that mean all men were sluts?)
You are always intimate with yourself, even if you do not engage in sexual activities with yourself. ... more
You are always intimate with yourself, even if you do not engage in sexual activities with yourself. ... more
Virginity does not involve any state of the hymen. If that were so then all men would be born non-virgin (would that mean all men were sluts?)
You are always intimate with yourself, even if you do not engage in sexual activities with yourself. Therefore you cannot loose your virginity to yourself unless everyone has lost their virginity to themselves.
I'm curious why BethD specifically excludes oral sex. less
You are always intimate with yourself, even if you do not engage in sexual activities with yourself. Therefore you cannot loose your virginity to yourself unless everyone has lost their virginity to themselves.
I'm curious why BethD specifically excludes oral sex. less
As for the exclusion of oral, I'm not sure. I've just always figured that was 'third base' or something. I've never been to any of the bases so maybe I'm just confused, lol.
01/19/2011
Quote:
Ha! This is awesome.
Originally posted by
That Guy
If masturbation ends your virginity, I was a lot cooler in high school than I thought I was.
And if sex toys count as partners, I am incredibly slutty.
01/19/2011
I say yes, definitely.
01/19/2011
Virginity has to be taken by a partner... masturbation. even if it breaks the hymen, is not sex.
01/21/2011
Quote:
That was primarily as a general rebuttal against the view that the hymen or lack of penetration defines virginity.
Originally posted by
Beth D
I didn't mean that men were sluts for not having hymens, lol. I realized belatedly that that comment I made about some people thinking the hymen had anything to do with it excluded males. My bad. I don't think the hymen has anything to do
...
more
I didn't mean that men were sluts for not having hymens, lol. I realized belatedly that that comment I made about some people thinking the hymen had anything to do with it excluded males. My bad. I don't think the hymen has anything to do with it anyway, just to clarify.
As for the exclusion of oral, I'm not sure. I've just always figured that was 'third base' or something. I've never been to any of the bases so maybe I'm just confused, lol. less
As for the exclusion of oral, I'm not sure. I've just always figured that was 'third base' or something. I've never been to any of the bases so maybe I'm just confused, lol. less
01/21/2011
Nope! I consider someone to be a virgin until they've had sex with another person, although I care less about the details of what they did exactly.
01/22/2011
Quote:
For The WIN!
Originally posted by
That Guy
If masturbation ends your virginity, I was a lot cooler in high school than I thought I was.
01/24/2011
I think you're no longer a virgin after sex with a live partner.
01/25/2011