Couples: How much does sex matter?

hmb12 hmb12
I'm assuming the EF community loves and values sex, but how much of an impact does it have on a couple's love life? For example, do you get bummed if your boyfriend/girlfriend or husband/wife doesn't want to have sex on a particular night?

I ask because I catch myself attaching my sex life to my emotional connection with my partner, but then again, I get frustrated when my partner does the same when I'm not feeling up for sex. Curious to hear what others think...
12/14/2013
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RonLee RonLee
A sexless relationship would be difficult to stay monogamously. As would a relationship where the sex was good, but I found the person to be unpleasant otherwise. My partner is a terrific person I love her, she is my best friend, but she does not have the sex drive that I do...
Would I prefer more sex, yes! Would I look for someone else who may turn out to be difficult to live with but give me more sex... NO!

If I were in my teens or twenties I might or would still be looking, but at my age I need to be pragmatic. Life is far too short to continuously be on the hunt for that "perfect" partner, who is not only my friend, but will fuck my brains out on a daily basis, too.

Those of you who have found that partner whose sex drive will remain undiminished and is otherwise also your best friend, congratulations! Know that you have won life's lottery, your search is complete.
12/15/2013
Jesyra Jesyra
I keep my sex life and my relationship as separate as they can be. Regardless of how many nights I've rolled my eyes and then rolled over to sleep when I would have much preferred sex, I refuse to let our very different sex drives create problems in our relationship.
12/15/2013
LAndJ LAndJ
Sex is a very important part of our relationship. When we first began having sex, it definitely changed the relationship. Sex brought on a different kind of closeness. I know there have been times I've been frustrated because he doesn't want to, and he has definitely voiced his frustration in me declining sex at times. We are much happier as a couple when our sex life is good, especially when we make a bigger effort towards making sex happen more often.
12/15/2013
hmb12 hmb12
Quote:
Originally posted by Jesyra
I keep my sex life and my relationship as separate as they can be. Regardless of how many nights I've rolled my eyes and then rolled over to sleep when I would have much preferred sex, I refuse to let our very different sex drives create problems ... More
Yeah, that's a great way to think about it. Thanks. I just can't believe how irritating it can be that one day, I'm the one holding out and the next day the shoe is on the other foot. Its hard to come to the middle ground sometimes with busy schedules.
12/16/2013
Confusedxfreak Confusedxfreak
Quote:
Originally posted by hmb12
I'm assuming the EF community loves and values sex, but how much of an impact does it have on a couple's love life? For example, do you get bummed if your boyfriend/girlfriend or husband/wife doesn't want to have sex on a particular ... More
Sex is huge for me, so I definitely do get disappointed and I will go along with it even if I didn't want to because I know its important, though it's pretty rare I don't want it.
Aug 23, 8:33 pm
Aesenthia Aesenthia
Sex has always been a complicated topic for me because I never enjoyed sex until I had sex with my current boyfriend. I thought I was just a weird person because I seemed to be the only one who didn't like sex. My boyfriend takes the time to make sure the oven is preheated before starting anything and to me that is so important. I never rated sex high on my list of needs from a relationship, but now it is in my top 5.
Yesterday, 10:10 am
Total posts: 7
Unique posters: 6