Friends: Advice Needed

Amber1w Amber1w
Amber1w
Related to: 
Hi Everyone,
I need some help, I'm going to break it down the best I can. I start with this My hubby and I have been together for 8 yrs thats along time, so every now and then you need to spice things up, so I started leaving him down stairs and going up to our room, puttting somthing sexy on taking a picture and sending it to him with something come up one get this. Well appearently 2 pictures mistakely got sent to my friends boyfriend who I am also friends with. Us four do lots of this together, we have kids the same age. So well call her B and him J. J doesnt say anything to me about the pictures (unknowingly sent to him) and keeps the pictures, Why don't know but I'm pissed also releived in away cuz im embaressed as it it that he seen them. Well B finds these pics. that he keep of me in his email and phone. So she text me and starts playing this game of I know and I want you to know I know. I'm serious lost and confused. Finally she tells me, And Im trying to tell her over an over that I didnt mean for him to get the pictures like why would I ruin 8yrs an their 5yr relationship. She said there was somthing written on the bottom of the pic. that wasnt even on the pic. Im so upset, embaressed, and frustrated.I sent her an 8 page texts, on how sorry I was and how they were never ment for anyone but my hubby. She doesnt want to believe me, she told me when we first started to become friends that she has a hard time trusting women, so her not wanting to beilive me maybe cuz were are getting close an its starting to scare her she is looking for away to stop the friendship I dont know what to do, if anyone can help thanks
04/26/2012
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js250 js250
I can understand your friend "B"s uncertainty and feelings, if I was to find pictures of one of my friends on my husband's phone I would not be very happy either. Honestly, I cannot think of very many people who would not be upset and doubtful. Especially someone who has their own personal reasons for not trusting other women.

HOWEVER--Sending texts with your explanation is a start, but have you thought of the fact that it could look like a cover up? Maybe it would work out a little better if you AND your husband met with your friends in person, explained the situation together and asked him to please remove your pictures from his phone. You might also want to talk to "B" in person and ask her to remove your pictures herself. Ask her what you can do to preserve HER friendship, to rebuild her trust in your friendship and let her know how much you value you her as a friend. Try to talk it out, phone calls and text messages do not always suffice for serious breaches in trust and apologies. Sometimes there is no other remedy than an in person, honest, heart to heart discussion. And listen to her explanation of why she is so upset, doubtful and un-trusting. It could be from a past experience where she got seriously hurt.

Good luck and I hope you are able to work through this!!
04/29/2012
Tuesday Tuesday
js250 is right. An open discussion with all four of you might be the only way to make this right. I hope it turns out ok for you.

Also, sending texts like that to your husband is really clever. If I weren't married 27 million years I might try something like that myself. The only pics I text my husband is of food I'm about to eat.
04/29/2012
CindyH CindyH
i say talk to her in person not tex. I understand it would be very upsetting.I have onefriendand i think she would laugh it off if i explained it to her that is how we are
04/29/2012
Ansley Ansley
She should be angry with her boyfriend and be willing to give you the benefit of the doubt, but you're probably getting the brunt of it because she can't be angry at him (for whatever reason) for keeping the pics and not telling her about them.

I'd figure out a way to break up my contact list so that hubby's name and his name aren't so close together...or fix whatever caused the mistake to happen. It's pretty difficult (on my phone) to add someone to the contact field when I'm creating a text, so I'm still trying to figure out you sent them to him in the first place.

Just keep trying to talk to her about it. She'll come around, eventually. I hope.
04/29/2012
Amber1w Amber1w
Thanks everyone for the advice, unfortunately, i never got the chance to meet up face to face with her, but to find out she was string me around to think we were still friends calling me texting me. Then I finally get to see this so called pic. I knew it I knew i couldn't have sent him a picture and I didn't, me and my hubby looked at it, my friends boyfriend after i told him what had been going on sent me the picture that she seen, and it really upsets me cuz there is no resemblince none, so i told her that i was asking her man what was going on and letting mine know what had been going on, she got pissed and said she was going to forward it to him an i told her do it and send it to me too, well she told me to stop textin her an said she didn't have it there to do but when she go home she would this was fri and im still waiting. but she also tried to tell me about emails and a video. She actually lied about a lot of the things she said. Im very upset. I thought that i had finally had a great girlfriend, and i think now looking at what went down that she was scared too, cuz im not like these other girls, i care for her and im truely her friend an even tho im really hurt im still here for her i just hope she comes around and realizes that i am a real friend, ill forgive her.
04/29/2012
Amber1w Amber1w
Quote:
Originally posted by Amber1w
Thanks everyone for the advice, unfortunately, i never got the chance to meet up face to face with her, but to find out she was string me around to think we were still friends calling me texting me. Then I finally get to see this so called pic. I ... More
even tho she had me freaking out that i had really sent J pictures. Im glad to find out i didnt, we seen the one picture an my hubby seen the rest of the pictures, those didnt really care to see they were of the girls pussy and i have a birthmark on mine plus its bald, sorry that a little much but these girls all had hair
04/29/2012
Amber1w Amber1w
So its been a couple days and I text her to see if we could talk in person maybe have lunch, she refused to I don't understand why. J, My husband and I all know there's no pictures of me on J phone or email or any video. I'm willing to forgive her. So why cant she just let it go, if she still thinks this pics r me well I don't know what to say than. My husband seen them all an not one was me, so ya B was wrong. I still want to be friends but I guess she doesn't want to have a really good friend; who did anything for B dropped whatever I was doing just to help her stay at her new house till it was dark making sure B house was painted so they could move in, watch her 4 kids any time B or J need me too, Just listened when she just had to get stuff off her chest,called her just to see how her day was and more. I miss my friend an I miss the kids; I get it I've been fucked over by past girlfriends too,she the first good one in 5yrs. I really don't know all I do know is that I want my girlfriend back
05/02/2012
wrmbreze wrmbreze
Quote:
Originally posted by Amber1w
So its been a couple days and I text her to see if we could talk in person maybe have lunch, she refused to I don't understand why. J, My husband and I all know there's no pictures of me on J phone or email or any video. I'm willing to ... More
Maybe she was just looking for an excuse.. Why didn't her boyfriend tell her they weren't pics of you?
05/02/2012
Amber1w Amber1w
Quote:
Originally posted by wrmbreze
Maybe she was just looking for an excuse.. Why didn't her boyfriend tell her they weren't pics of you?
he did tell her that they werent me and that he never had any pics of me, for some reason she just not listening to any of us , come if my hubby seen the pic and said those arent amber, she should be ok im sorry i shouldnt have accused her of sending pic are that these were her in the pics. my hubby knows my body every inch of my body we've been together for 8 yrs an her knows that I have a birth mark down there so, shes wrong but doesnt want to admit it i guess or she just truely doesnt want to have a good friend
05/03/2012
Rockasaurus Rockasaurus
I can understand the feeling- but hopefully she will undersand and forgive you. Maybe talking to your husband and talking to hem couple-to-couple might help.
05/05/2012
Amber1w Amber1w
Quote:
Originally posted by Rockasaurus
I can understand the feeling- but hopefully she will undersand and forgive you. Maybe talking to your husband and talking to hem couple-to-couple might help.
but i didnt do anything, it was proven that i didnt even send any pictures to him thank god that i didnt, I already talled with my husband an he seen these so called pics, he laughed cuz none were me, an she wont meet me to talk. me an my hubby talked to J an he told us this is what she does once she gets close to someone she freaks out, plus i guess a couple of girls she was friends with they all slept with J, but not me not to be rude our anything but im not in to black men. Plus im happily married to a wonderful man 8 yrs is along time to just throw it all way. I truely care for her as a friend an miss her, i dont know what else to do, ive tried eveything i could think of
05/06/2012
Raym Raym
Sorry to hear all that! I hope things work out for you. Either way, you are still happily married to your hubby so things will still be ok for you!
05/17/2012
hro789 hro789
Quote:
Originally posted by Amber1w
Hi Everyone,
I need some help, I'm going to break it down the best I can. I start with this My hubby and I have been together for 8 yrs thats along time, so every now and then you need to spice things up, so I started leaving him down stairs ... More
I can see where "B" is coming from but, the one thing I have learned is that if someone is determined to end a relationship they will find any excuse to do it. You already apologized for the pics mysteriously ending up in that email, has B asked him why he keeps them on his phone? that might be a good place to start and see where it goes from there.
05/23/2012
Total posts: 14
Unique posters: 9