How can i get my husband to see the light and want to fulfill my sexual needs?

Contributor: pixiedustVixen pixiedustVixen
how can i get my husband to see the light and want to fulfill my sexual needs.. i dont want to get divorced but im not going to be 26 forever i want to get laid and how i want it so is there any advice out there for me
04/17/2013
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Contributor: AmethystQueen AmethystQueen
Talking? Make sure he knows what you want and where you're at. Make sure you know where he's at and what he wants. Hopefully you all love each other enough to meet in the middle.
04/17/2013
Contributor: MrWill MrWill
Quote:
Originally posted by pixiedustVixen
how can i get my husband to see the light and want to fulfill my sexual needs.. i dont want to get divorced but im not going to be 26 forever i want to get laid and how i want it so is there any advice out there for me
Definitely just try saying what you need. It might not work, but then again it might be that simple.
04/17/2013
Contributor: G&L G&L
Quote:
Originally posted by AmethystQueen
Talking? Make sure he knows what you want and where you're at. Make sure you know where he's at and what he wants. Hopefully you all love each other enough to meet in the middle.
Communication, Communication, Communication.
04/17/2013
Contributor: Boosty Boosty
Always try talking.
If you are too shy, you might try this: Link
Saw it the other day in another discussion. It's to "Discover your Partner’s Hidden Sexual Fantasies". Just what you might need.
04/18/2013
Contributor: Gunsmoke Gunsmoke
I had the problem with my wife for many years. Honestly it took years of patience, persistence and masturbation to get over the issue. Your level of tolerance may be different.

IMO when a guy lacks interest in sex there are two likely reasons.

1. Low testosterone
2. Performance anxiety

The low T problem get a lot of press these days and your partner seems too young - but he should get checked.

Since the likely issue is performance anxiety - you patience, support and communication can go a long way. This is also where integrating toys into sex can be helpful.

We made a lot of progress in our relationship when we stopped looking at sex as 'making love' and treat it more like recreation. In recreation who have toys - and we have a couple of drawers full of sex toys to keep things interesting.

I found that like with drugs - you need a 'gateway'. For drugs it's often thought to be marijuana - for sex toys it's your basic non-phallic clitoral vibrator. It helps you orgasm - and isn't a threat to his masculinity.

From there we climbed the ladder and have all manner of dildos, vibes, slappers, pillows, strapons, etc. Once you get started - try to move the dialog steadily forward to the areas you are most interested in - and help him develop new interests.
04/18/2013
Contributor: spiced spiced
Quote:
Originally posted by pixiedustVixen
how can i get my husband to see the light and want to fulfill my sexual needs.. i dont want to get divorced but im not going to be 26 forever i want to get laid and how i want it so is there any advice out there for me
Is he just not having sex with you very often, or at all? Or is he not doing something during sex (oral, etc) that you'd like him to do?

Whatever the issue is, I suggest talking to him, in a light, playful way (at least to start). Something like, "Honey, I think you're SOOO sexy and I love having sex with you...but I would like it a lot better if [we did it more like every other day, rather than once a month] [OR] [I would LOVE if you'd give me oral when we have sex, because that's how I cum]..." Or whatever the problem is. Be sure to use "friendly" body language (in other words, touch him) while you're talking to him.

I've been here in a relationship before and it definitely IS possible to get things back on track. I hope it works out well for you two.
04/18/2013
Contributor: Real or memorex Real or memorex
There are sex therapists out there who help couples. It's another idea.
04/20/2013
Contributor: libbyv libbyv
talk to him. be honest
04/28/2013
Contributor: edeneve edeneve
Quote:
Originally posted by pixiedustVixen
how can i get my husband to see the light and want to fulfill my sexual needs.. i dont want to get divorced but im not going to be 26 forever i want to get laid and how i want it so is there any advice out there for me
Dr. Laura Berman is a sex & relationship therapist. look for her site online. hopefully you find an answer.
06/17/2013