No sex toys to be found?

Contributor: Machina Machina
I'm curious as to what everyone uses during masturbation when, heaven forbid, you don't have access to any sex toys. Like when you're on vacation and you accidentally forgot to pack your rabbit, or were too scared to bring your bullet with you on a weekend trip to your parent's.

My old standby is a handheld shower head, but you can kinda give yourself away by taking 30 minute showers. Not to mention it kind of puts a damper on things when your dad is banging on the door screaming " Get out. You're wasting water!"
03/11/2009
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Contributor: Gary Gary
I think that everyone should take 30 minute showers, even when it's not necessary, that way, that way it never appears suspicious!
03/11/2009
Contributor: Gary Gary
Not to detract from the relevance of this thread, but it did remind me of a stupid thing I found on some website that I came across years ago. The whole site was a crazy, DIY one stop, for inventive methods of masturbation, for guys. This is what I immediately thought of when reading your post.

“When I am on the road and forget to bring my trusty ole realistic vagina along with me, here is what I really like to do. I take a Ziploc freezer bag, the one gallon size preferably, and I squeeze a whole bottle of hand lotion into it. I then slide it in between a couch cushion and the couch of wherever I happen to find myself. I then get down on my knees in front of the couch, and begin to fantasize about Bea Arthur, in an impure manner, if you catch my meaning.”

In reality I have never done this, but after reading about this method, and laughing so hard about it, it has always popped into my head at really stupid and inappropriate times. I, for very obvious reasons, have never had the opportunity to share this story before so I am very exited to be sharing it here today with all of you... Woohoo!

Now, if anyone has or is willing to try this crazy couch-cushion-method of masturbation, please post here and tell everyone how awesome it was, and please think of Bea Arthur.
03/11/2009
Contributor: jedent jedent
Quote:
Originally posted by Gary
Not to detract from the relevance of this thread, but it did remind me of a stupid thing I found on some website that I came across years ago. The whole site was a crazy, DIY one stop, for inventive methods of masturbation, for guys. This is what I ... more
I think I saw that site too, it showed diagrams for how to cut cantaloupes and stuff "just right."
03/11/2009
Contributor: Carrie Ann Carrie Ann
Quote:
Originally posted by Machina
I'm curious as to what everyone uses during masturbation when, heaven forbid, you don't have access to any sex toys. Like when you're on vacation and you accidentally forgot to pack your rabbit, or were too scared to bring your bullet ... more
Fingers work just fine for me.
03/11/2009
Contributor: Oggins Oggins
Quote:
Originally posted by Gary
Not to detract from the relevance of this thread, but it did remind me of a stupid thing I found on some website that I came across years ago. The whole site was a crazy, DIY one stop, for inventive methods of masturbation, for guys. This is what I ... more
Thank you! Now this can pop into my head at really stupid and inappropriate times as well! =P

Bea Arthur? lol!
03/11/2009
Contributor: Oggins Oggins
I just make hubby masturbate me if I've forgotten my toys. =P

Or we go find a local sex toy shop wherever we are on vacation at. I like to visit them for fun anyway. I might just forget my toy so that we will have to go! =)
03/11/2009
Contributor: Miss Cinnamon Miss Cinnamon
I don't know where I've seen this before, but I'll post the link again: link .

My parents like to snoop around a lot, especially when they come downstate to visit me on campus, so I hide my toys from them by leaving my battery operated friends at my boyfriend's place. The downside of this is that I seldom have a sex toy on hand that I can get off quick with (or I'm stuck with a dildo I'm not all that excited about, etc.) In those cases, I go right back to basics: my hand, vibrating toothbrush, and a towel have all done the job for me for the 18 years I lived before I discovered the joy of sex toys. And, somehow, even the best bullet out there can't beat the cool things that my fingers can do.
03/11/2009
Contributor: Renewing Desire Renewing Desire
Shower head, even the bath faucet, though that requires some flexibility. Sometimes I happen to have a bottle of the appropriate shape (like roll on deodorant with a domed cap, cleaned thoroughly before and after of course), but usually the shower, or the nice end of a vibrating razor. Not much power but it helps a bit.
03/11/2009
Contributor: Backseat Boohoo Backseat Boohoo
Lay on my stomach, hands on vulva, and press. Actually, I do that even when I DO have toys around.
03/11/2009
Contributor: Gary Gary
Quote:
Originally posted by jedent
I think I saw that site too, it showed diagrams for how to cut cantaloupes and stuff "just right."
YES!!!
03/11/2009
Contributor: Epiphora Epiphora
I never forget my sex toys. MUST HAVE THEM. I can't even remember the last time I jacked off without them. Honestly, I would probably just not masturbate if I didn't have them, because it's too much work.
03/11/2009
Contributor: Dragon Dragon
Quote:
Originally posted by Epiphora
I never forget my sex toys. MUST HAVE THEM. I can't even remember the last time I jacked off without them. Honestly, I would probably just not masturbate if I didn't have them, because it's too much work.
LOL! To me... I have to masturbate first, then decide that I'm interested enough to prolong and add the intensity of toys.
03/12/2009
Contributor: Rockin' Rockin'
Back in college I "made friends" with a the not-the-cap end of a Sharpie marker because I didn't have any sex toys but wanted something harder than my finger inside me. ^_^ It feels good...just be careful, and clean it before and after. At least it's not suspicious looking, right?
03/12/2009
Contributor: Liz2 Liz2
I always try to have a toy with me, preferably a vibe. If not, my fingers work, but it does take longer.
Shower works but going back home..long showers are considered a waste of water.
03/12/2009
Contributor: Adriana Ravenlust Adriana Ravenlust
Why did everyone assume this was about forgetting toys? d=

I'm at home at my parents right now and it's totally not an appropriate place for toys and not comfortable for masturbation period. Thus, I just.. don't. Heh

But if I have no toys but have the opportunity to masturbate it's fingers and/or blanket humping time
03/14/2009
Contributor: iLashe iLashe
ridged non-traditional screwing end of a screwdriver. ha
04/09/2011
Contributor: Enchantedkitty Enchantedkitty
Quote:
Originally posted by Gary
Not to detract from the relevance of this thread, but it did remind me of a stupid thing I found on some website that I came across years ago. The whole site was a crazy, DIY one stop, for inventive methods of masturbation, for guys. This is what I ... more
hahahaha Bea Arthur.
04/10/2011
Contributor: Rin (aka Nire) Rin (aka Nire)
Hands do the job nicely. In fact I still use those more often than my toys, especially if I get in the mood when I'm really tired and just want to go straight to sleep afterwards.
04/17/2011
Contributor: froggiemoma froggiemoma
hands work if no toys in site
04/23/2011
Contributor: kelaaa33wish kelaaa33wish
I go with the shower head too, and hands work as well.
04/23/2011