unfufilling sex

I often feel this way about my current relationship. I try to make it exciting but it seems like no matter what either of us does, I'm just not really sexually attracted to my husband most of the time. I usually do things for his sake, but I prefer masturbation.

This would be about where I started looking for things to add to our sex life. An online friend showed me fetlife.com and made me sign up. After that there was no going back. I was hooked and showed it to my husband who was a little standoffish at first about it but then warmed up to the idea of starting a Dominant/submissive relationship.

Now about a year and a half later we have our own in-home playroom/dungeon and our sex life is on fire.

I know bdsm doesn't work for everyone, but it's what worked for us.

I stayed in a marriage where the sex was non-existent for a couple years. Seriously could probably count the occasions on one hand. (And I'm normally very sexual.) It was totally my issue. He was willing & able, but just didn't do it for me. At the time I was sick of relationships with amazing sex but emotionally/mentally un-fulfilling. And I just swung too far the other way & went with the nice guy. Other than the sex he was great, so I just told myself it wasn't that important. I grew up in a pretty conservative family sex-wise, so I guess I had internalized this idea that sex shouldn't be a deciding factor in a relationship. *Insert long story* In the end, though, I realized that was just one aspect of the relationship where I was suppressing my own needs & also not being fair to the guy. So, I ended the relationship.

I'm currently in this situation... && quit frankly i'm on the verge of ending it because i feel like sex plays a big role in my life! && i don't want to end up cheating over this bull.

My first marriage was like this, once we quit being intimate and lost that feeling of closeness sex brings he was just another friend. I told him I needed more in our relationship but he would not help work on it, so after two years of trying to make nothing work, I found someone else and ended my marriage.

These are interesting responses. Mostly sad, though. How would you tell your husband/SO that he does nothing for you? Its a big ego thing for guys.

Actually, my husband doesn't want to have sex nearly as much as I do. :O I always find myself getting rejected by him instead, lol.

I am very fortunate to not have this issue in my current long term relationship.

I did date a young man many years ago, whom I think I may have loved. He was a nice guy and really sensual, but clueless in the "Pleasing a Women" department. He not only didn't know how to perform oral sex, he didn't even try. He made insinuations that it was "icky." Yeah, he was dropped quickly.

I'm a very sexual person and I need good sex in my relationships, or it isn't worth the trouble.

I hope for the sake of the wife he has now (he's married with kids, as am I) that he learned the Ways of Love.