Wrong or not?

ichwillwaffels ichwillwaffels
My boyfriend does not like masturbation at all. He is going to be moving away and I know I'll end up doing it. Something about it feels wrong though since I know he doesn't like it, but it isn't like I have other options. Am I just feeling guilty for nothing or is it really a bad thing?
Answers (private voting - your screen name will NOT appear in the results):
Yeah it's wrong
1  (1%)
No its fine
175  (97%)
Other
5  (3%)
Total votes: 181
Poll is closed
12/28/2011
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Rin (aka Nire) Rin (aka Nire)
Honestly, I can't see letting a boyfriend's opinion on the matter influence me to that degree. It'd be like being told that I'm not allowed to orgasm on my own terms. I understand not wanting to make him upset, but if you need or want satisfaction, you should just go for it and not worry about it.

I'm curious as to why he thinks it's wrong, though, if you don't mind my asking.
12/28/2011
SaMiKaY SaMiKaY
Better to masturbate than to cheat right!?
12/28/2011
OhMy! OhMy!
Don't let his insecurity get in the way. He should at least enjoy the fact you're masturbating instead of bottling-up desires, or cheating on him. Perhaps he's never experienced a good solo session of his own!
12/28/2011
punkstar283 punkstar283
Everyone should
12/28/2011
eeep eeep
Masturbation is normal and healthy. If he isn't into it, that's fine for him and its his problem. That doesn't mean it has to be yours too. Do what works for you, hell it's better than ending up cheating or sexually frustrated all the time.
12/28/2011
Gracie Gracie
I am sure he masturbates. Would your objections change his behavior if you had any objections? I highly doubt it. I think if he makes you feel guilty about this, he is likely being manipulative. You are in charge of your own body. That is a good thing! I don't think he should get to vote about this.
12/28/2011
Curiouscat Curiouscat
It's not wrong. Your not 'cheating' on him because your masturbating. It's actually very healthy to do so. Don't feel guilty about something natural.
12/28/2011
biancajames biancajames
Quote:
Originally posted by ichwillwaffels
My boyfriend does not like masturbation at all. He is going to be moving away and I know I'll end up doing it. Something about it feels wrong though since I know he doesn't like it, but it isn't like I have other options. Am I just ... More
If he has a problem with your choice to masturbate, that's controlling and potentially abusive.
12/28/2011
Rin (aka Nire) Rin (aka Nire)
Quote:
Originally posted by biancajames
If he has a problem with your choice to masturbate, that's controlling and potentially abusive.
Indeed. Honestly, if a guy tried to pull that with me, I'd tell him that either he backs off or I'm going to drop him like a rock.
12/28/2011
AndroAngel AndroAngel
Nothing wrong with masturbation. It's healthy and natural.
12/28/2011
js250 js250
There are many people that are insecure and shy about masturbation. Your boyfriend could be one of those people. They feel threatened, thinking that if you masturbate it means you are not being satisfied by them. I would not let it stop you from performing a natural and healthy act, just try to understand that that is his hangup and issue, not yours!!
12/28/2011
Hot 'N Sexy TexasMama Hot 'N Sexy TexasMama
I think this opens up a lovely opportunity for the two of you to talk about WHY he thinks it is wrong and what problems he has with it.

Does he feel insecure and like you won't need him anymore? Perhaps you can address that.

Was he brought up believing it was wrong due to religious reasons? Well - its not really covered in the Bible as wrong.

Does he feel like it makes him seem inadequate or like enough of a lover?

Find out WHY he's saying what he's saying so the core of the issue can be addressed.
12/28/2011
InnocentISwear InnocentISwear
Quote:
Originally posted by Hot 'N Sexy TexasMama
I think this opens up a lovely opportunity for the two of you to talk about WHY he thinks it is wrong and what problems he has with it.

Does he feel insecure and like you won't need him anymore? Perhaps you can address that.

Was he ... More
This is everything I was thinking.
12/28/2011
JessCee JessCee
Quote:
Originally posted by Hot 'N Sexy TexasMama
I think this opens up a lovely opportunity for the two of you to talk about WHY he thinks it is wrong and what problems he has with it.

Does he feel insecure and like you won't need him anymore? Perhaps you can address that.

Was he ... More
you're awesome

Wonderful suggestions right here!
12/28/2011
Mihoshi4301 Mihoshi4301
Quote:
Originally posted by Hot 'N Sexy TexasMama
I think this opens up a lovely opportunity for the two of you to talk about WHY he thinks it is wrong and what problems he has with it.

Does he feel insecure and like you won't need him anymore? Perhaps you can address that.

Was he ... More
This exactly
12/28/2011
Airen Wolf Airen Wolf
Quote:
Originally posted by ichwillwaffels
My boyfriend does not like masturbation at all. He is going to be moving away and I know I'll end up doing it. Something about it feels wrong though since I know he doesn't like it, but it isn't like I have other options. Am I just ... More
Ok so he doesn't enjoy masturbation, that doesn't make it wrong for YOU to enjoy it! My husband doesn't like raspberries but it's not wrong for ME to love them. My life partner doesn't like writing sex toy reviews but it still doesn't mean I need to feel guilty for enjoying talking about my experiences with sex toys.
It sounds as though you are equating sex with yourself as cheating your partner out of an experience. The thing is you are not OBLIGATED to deny yourself, or even feel guilty, if he isn't there to have sex with. It doesn't cheat him of anything but leaving yourself frustrated, upset and emotionally off balance because you are denying what is a perfectly natural act cheats YOU. Unless you have a relationship where permission is given and required there shouldn't be any guilt attached to self pleasure.
12/28/2011
True Pleasures True Pleasures
Quote:
Originally posted by InnocentISwear
This is everything I was thinking.
Same here. What I'm wondering is if the problem is just that he feels like you won't need him or he's not good enough. He might have a past that has influenced certain insecurities. Unfortunately, I speak from experience. I'd rather not go into my experience, but I think you two should definitely have a talk.

The most important thing is to let him come to talk to you in his own time, though, without any pressure. Just tell him that his objection to masturbation has you a little upset, and you'd like to know why his opinion on it is like that, but whenever he feels comfortable telling you, and just drop it at that. That was he knows you respect his feelings and, hopefully, he'll come talk to you about it soon.
12/28/2011
KrazyKandy KrazyKandy
I think its innocent and see nothing wrong with pleasing yourself
12/28/2011
Illusional Illusional
Quote:
Originally posted by SaMiKaY
Better to masturbate than to cheat right!?
Agreed!
12/28/2011
RonLee RonLee
Sounds like that boyfriend is just a bit odd. All men masturbate, no matter how he denies it he jacks off. You should too.
12/28/2011
Sublime Sublime
Quote:
Originally posted by RonLee
Sounds like that boyfriend is just a bit odd. All men masturbate, no matter how he denies it he jacks off. You should too.
I agree 100% it's kinda weird that he doesn't like that you masturbate...
12/28/2011
Shellz31 Shellz31
Honestly, if a partner wanted to deny me masturbating, I'd tell him it's that or I'll go out and find someone else to fill my needs - especially if he is going to be quite a distance away.
12/28/2011
zeebot zeebot
That's your choice - it's your body, you get to decide what to do with it.
12/28/2011
(k)InkyIvy (k)InkyIvy
How silly, that he thinks there's something wrong with masturbation. It's completely natural, and there's nothing about it that should make you feel shame.
12/28/2011
RonLee RonLee
Quote:
Originally posted by (k)InkyIvy
How silly, that he thinks there's something wrong with masturbation. It's completely natural, and there's nothing about it that should make you feel shame.
Absolutely!
12/28/2011
Girly Girl Girly Girl
mmm i don't know where he came from ,, but i think that is something normal that's better than you seem somebody else ,,and you should feel ok
12/28/2011
Sinfully Sinfully
That is the craziest thing I have ever heard. No one could ever stop me from it that's for sure.
12/28/2011
ichwillwaffels ichwillwaffels
Quote:
Originally posted by Rin (aka Nire)
Honestly, I can't see letting a boyfriend's opinion on the matter influence me to that degree. It'd be like being told that I'm not allowed to orgasm on my own terms. I understand not wanting to make him upset, but if you need or want ... More
I don't know what it is about it. He just seems to have a problem with it!
12/29/2011
poetprincess poetprincess
Quote:
Originally posted by ichwillwaffels
My boyfriend does not like masturbation at all. He is going to be moving away and I know I'll end up doing it. Something about it feels wrong though since I know he doesn't like it, but it isn't like I have other options. Am I just ... More
its his choice not to, not yours, why should you suffer..
12/29/2011
Total posts: 101
Unique posters: 94