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How to Choose a Sex Toy for Her
without Ending Up in the Doghouse
Sex Guides and Tips
by Adrie Santos

When it comes to choosing a sex toy for her, chances are you’re gonna need help no matter how well you think you know her. Don’t get me wrong; there are some guys who are totally in tune with their partners and really know what they want—inside and out. So what makes me think that you’re in need of some coaching? Well, the fact that the words ‘sex toy’ immediately followed by “doghouse’ seemed to get your attention makes it a dead giveaway!

Choosing a sex toy for your girlfriend or spouse requires more thought than something like a sweater. Think about it; this is going to be inside of her—you wouldn’t put just anything in there, would you?? Don’t sweat it my boy because I am going to give you the tips you need to help you choose a sex toy for your gal that she will not only love but thank you for over and over and over again!

Things to Consider BEFORE You Shop

  • Have you ever seen one of those episodes of the Flintstones or any other show that revolves around a husband and wife where the husband buys the wife a gift like a bowling ball or something that is obviously for his own benefit and not hers? Well this is a common mistake that guys make when shopping for a naughty surprise; choosing something that turns them on as opposed to thinking of her wants first. You really do need to think of her and her tastes when you’re choosing an intimate surprise because the look of surprise that you’re after is one of pleasant surprise that is followed by a naughty gleam in the eye as opposed to the look of terrified surprise that is followed by slap across your smug-ass face. So my first tip to remember: Just because YOU find it sexy doesn’t mean she will and it ain’t about you anyway!

  • If you’re not sure—ask! There is no better way to confirm what she likes than to ask her. If you want to keep the whole thing as much of a surprise as possible, then you don’t need to go into too many specifics but rather approach the subject of sex toys in a roundabout sort of way. For instance, check out some of our products with her and gage her reaction. If the sight of a big pink Rabbit vibe make her eyes light up like a kid who has just seen Santa, then it’s pretty safe to bet that she’d be up for trying it or one similar to it. On the other hand if she starts screeching obscenities at you at the mere mention of a vibrator, then you may need to consider something a tad more toned down like the I Rub My Duckie or some other cute and non-threatening toy.

  • Start small. In case there is any doubt, I really am talking about the actual size of the toy when it comes to vibrators or dildos. If this is her first experience with sex toys, you may want to avoid starting off with anything too intimidating or downright awkward. Unless she has specifically stressed interest in being penetrated by a monster cock; I would recommend steering clear of anything that is referred to as “jumbo” or “supersize” or “mammoth”! You want to turn her on, not scare her off.

  • What’s her style? Is she someone who gravitates to pretty, frilly, girlie things and dots her ‘i’s with hearts? Is she open-minded sexually and up for anything? Is she very low-key? These are all clues that can help you choose a sex toy that she’ll actually use. For the girlie-girl, consider one of the many pretty toys that come in pinks and pearls, etc. If she’s very timid and shy, then you might want to go with a clitoral stimulator, something small and discreet. The LAYAspot by Fun Factory is gentle, non-threatening, and ergonomic to boot! It’s absolutely user-friendly, featuring eight different levels of vibration, making it possibly the quintessential clitoral stimulator on the market today. If you think she’d like something even more tactful, if not wholly discreet, then the Incognito Lipstick Vibe is where discretion and delight converge. She won’t even know that it’s a vibrator – well, not until she turns it on, and it in turn turns her on!

  • If shyness and experience aren’t a concern, surprise her with a Pure Wand by Njoy. This stainless steel Wand’s pure pleasure, promising an intense exploration of her g-spot like she’s never experienced before. But if she’s not a heavy-metal kind of girl, maybe her g-spot would better prefer something with a little vroom to it – like a Gigi G-Spot Vibrator by LELO. The Gigi’s got more user options than a buffet table – but this is one buffet she’ll never lose her appetite for! The Galan G-Spot Vibrator on the other hand doesn’t necessarily require a programmer’s degree to operate, but it’ll sate her inner geek’s g-spot all day and night!

  • And if she’s bold enough to enjoy a little anal play, there are plenty of options. Vivid’s Acrylic Pleasure Wand by Doc Johnson is a set of acrylic anal beads, with an easy-to-grasp handle base that you’ll both find plenty of uses for. The Little Flirt Butt Plug by Tantus is perfect for beginner’s anal play. Made of silicone, it’s completely safe, phthalate-free, and endowed with a long, flat base, giving her plenty of options if she wants to play solo. The Pure Butt Plug by Njoy, on the other hand, is a stainless steel marvel of anal play – it’s a little more advanced, with more heft, and a subtle ergonomic angling, designed to massage her happy place just so!

And while we’re talking about anal...this is NOT the type of toy that you want to just spring on someone unless she has made it very clear that she wants to try some backdoor play. It doesn’t matter how much you long to try anal, you need to be sure that SHE wants to. Capice??

And while I’m lecturing you, I may as well mention that this rule also goes applies to BDSM-related toys as well. You really do need to tread carefully as it is when choosing a sex toy for your wife or girlfriend, but when it comes to toys that can inflict pain or cross certain boundaries, then you really need to use caution and caring. Not all women enjoy anal sex is and not all women are going to be comfortable with being dominated or humiliated or have pain inflicted on them in the name of sex. Know her limits before you shop and don’t try to force your way past them. Period. If you’re ABSOLUTELY SURE that she’d be up for some mild BDSM play, you could try something like the Vanilla Bondage Kit or the Barely Bonds Kit.

Some Final Advice

While this is about learning how to choose a sex toy for your wife or girlfriend, there is no reason why you shouldn’t get to have some fine, right? I mean, you were just selfless enough to take the time to read this article all in the name of her pleasure after all! If you find that you’re still kinda stumped on what type of toy she would love, then why not go the route of something made for both of you? It’s a lot less selfish than buying something like Chasey Lane Signature Vagina and trying to pass it off as a gift for her! Though you should totally buy one for yourself for those nights when she’s away on business or just not speaking to you after your latest infraction against womanity. But you didn’t hear that from me! *wink*) Things like vibrating love rings and other toys for couples are made to give her maximum pleasure while you use it on her and yes, they even throw in a little good vibration for the penis. Because it’s always nice for your bone to be thrown a bone, right?

Choosing a sex toy for couples may even be the best option when you’re dealing with a woman who has never used sex toys before because it may be a little more comforting trying it out with the help of her great, giving, sexual philanthropist of a partner! So get out there and get shopping! Your toe-curling, sheet-twisting thank you for being so sexually selfless is only a click away!