Almost Porn

This is probably what they mean when they say "female friendly porn". This movie is sensual as well as sexual, but the scenes seem a bit long. It would certainly be a nice introduction to adult films for those not comfortable with gonzo type films.
Published:
Pros
Good storyline, sensual, no annoying vocals that needed muting.
Cons
Poor acting, repetitive scenes, odd lighting.
Rating by reviewer:
3
extremely useful review


My husband and I liked this movie for the story alone. We watched it in bed while eating our popcorn. The sex is very sensual, very quiet, and what most would consider very vanilla. However, I found the sensuality to be a nice change of pace!

The case comes boxed in a very nice matte finished cardboard, with an incredible sexy feel to it! My exact words were, "It feels like the silicone on my LELO Mona!" I couldn't stop touching it. Overall, the DVD covers are very discreet! There is no nudity whatsoever.

Front Cover:
The front cover features Xander Corvus and Allie Haze.

Back cover:
The back cover features Kiara Diane and a collage of scenes from the movie, as well as a plot summary.

Disc Menu:
-Play Movie
-Scene Selection
-DVD Extra (consisting of: BTS, Photo Gallery, Pick your Pleasure, Trailers, Web Trailer, Company Info, Main Menu)

Movie Summary:
The movie is about a recently deceased Angie Summers (Kiara Diane) and her quest to find the perfect memory to take with her into the afterlife. Michael (Xander Corvus) informs her she can only choose one memory and she must do so in order to move on.

The movie begins with Angie (Kiara Diane) and Alice (Victoria White) sitting is a lobby waiting for the receptionist (Jessie Andrews) to explain the purpose of them being there. Jessie appears and takes Victoria to the back. Sara (Allie Haze) appears and summons Angie to follow her up the staircase where she is introduced to Michael (Xander Corvus). He informs her that she had passed away the evening before and in order for her to move on, she must choose only one memory to take with her into the afterlife. Angie asks for an example of a memory someone else had chosen. He recalls a memory a woman (Brooke Lee Adams) had of her and her husband (Danny Mountain).

Scene 1:
Brooke Lee Adams and Danny Mountain are in a garden having dinner. They take a walk and find a secluded spot off the beaten path and make love outdoors. There is a lot of kissing, a bit of oral, cowgirl, doggie, with the finish on her tummy and ending with a kiss.

**At this point, my husband and I both agreed that we didn't feel like we were watching porn at all. At no time did the actress say, "Oh, yea! Fuck me harder!" There was no annoying hollering and moaning either. It seemed more like we were actually watching a drama with some explict sex.**

Michael then shares with Angie the reason the woman chose that memory of her husband. He tells her she needs to have memory picked out by the end of the evening. The scene then transitions to Sara and Paul (Seth Gamble) in the breakroom talking about their day. Paul leaves. Michael enters the room.

Scene 2:
It is obvious that Sara has a crush on Michael. As she is pouring him a cup of coffee, she begins to daydream about him making love to her. The scene begins with the two kissing. Their kissing leads to mutual oral, then on to doggie, cowgirl, and missionary. He then props her up on the kitchen counter, makes love to her a bit more and finishes on her abdomen.

She is shaken out of her daydream by hot coffee spilling all over her hand. Michael is oblivious to Sara's flirts and almost seems annoyed by her.

Sara heads outside for a walk and meets Angie in the garden and tells Angie about her crush. Sara then convinces Angie to tell her a memory of her husband Jake (Chris Johnson). Alice (Victoria White) and husband, Joe (Rocco Reed), join Angie on the bench and chat about their memories. They tell her they are off to make a new memory together.

Scene 3:
Alice and Joe enter a room and begin kissing. They move to the bed and continue to make love. The sex is very much a repeat of the previous scenes.

Angie finds a room to take a nap. As she lays down, she remembers little moments with her husband. She awakes; soon after, with Paul and Sara's help, she decides on a memory.

Angie tells Michael the memory she has chosen. She tells Michael it was all the little things that made their love special. Michael finally gets it. He realizes that Sara is always doing little things for him. He finds Sara in the hall and kisses her.
Experience
(Continued)
Angie falls asleep and awakes in her bed with Jake getting ready for work. Jake asks her to help him pick out a tie, then tells her he left her a little something in the bathroom...and no it is not a turd in the toilet! (we laughed out loud at the thought and I nearly spit my popcorn across the room.) Jake follows Angie into the bathroom where they begin kissing, then move things back to the bed.

Scene 4:
The kissing continues, followed by each of them slowly undressing the other. Jake gives Angie a tongue lashing. Turnabout is fair-play. Angie returns the favor. She crawls on top of him and rides him cowgirl. They spoon a bit, followed by doggie, then with her flat on her tummy, a few minutes of missionary, and as in the rest of the scenes, he finishes on her belly and they end the movie with a kiss.

The end of the movie had me wondering if Angie had dreamed the entire ordeal and woke up at home in her bed or if that was part of the memory that she had chosen to take with her. My husband and I lean more to it all being a dream in the first place.

For us, this movie is not porn. My husband really didn't care for it that much because the acting was poor and he prefers to see (and I quote) "fucking" in his porn. I was not turned-on the first time I watched it with my husband. We were in a different mood that night...more of a "fucking" mood. However, tonight I watched it alone and I liked it the second time around.

This film is shot in HD. HD has its ups and downs. It shows all the imperfections on the flesh; however, it is nice to see that actors and actresses have imperfections too.

The camera work was good. The video seems overexposed, but I think it was meant to be shot that way to give it a hazy, dream-like feel.

The music in this film has a Fred Astaire, Lucille O'Ball, Dick Van Dike, Leave it to Beaver, 1950s sitcom feel to it.

If you really are not into porn, but would like to experience a sensual, sexual movie, this series might just be what you are looking for. However, if you are like my husband and prefer "fucking" in your porn, you probably won't care for this.

The first time I watched it, I would have given this movie a 2. After watching a second time (in a different mood), if the acting was better or the sex was not so repetitive, I would give it a 4. I found the story interesting and the people beautiful, so I do not think this movie deserves only a 3, since there are no half stars I am stuck.

I am giving this a 3 star rating, but so wish it could be 3.5.
Follow-up commentary
I guess we prefer more hard core porn. We have tried to give this movie one more shot and it just isn't doing it for either of us.

If you prefer more drama and romance with your porn, this movie might be right up your alley. I have recommended it several times to people looking for something less than Gonzo-type films and they have given it a thumbs up. To each their own!
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.

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My Almost Heaven tags
  • Who / How / What
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    Who might this product be best for? How is it best used? What are the best circumstances or situations for using this product?
    • Anyone
    • Bachelor/ bachelorette party
    • Bridal gift
Comments
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  • Contributor: Adam02viper
    Good review!
  • Contributor: leatherlover
    Thanks for the very thorough review.
  • Contributor: Airekah
    Good Review!
  • Contributor: ~LaUr3n~
    This just arrived today. Your review pretty much confirmed my suspicions.
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