Miles from Needles by Vivid - review by Daddy

" Miles from Needles " is an adult movie directed by some one named B. Skow. I don't watch enough porn to know director's names or even the actor's names, but the cover describes this movie as "a dark sinister opus from AVN's favorite new director". The back cover also claims this movie to be "Thelma and Louise meets The House of a 1000 Corpses." My girl and I are HUGE Horror movie fans. From the big budget to the cheesy "B" movies, we love them all! This movie is by no means a serious Horror movie, but it is really entertaining. Not only is it different from most porn in look and plot, but the sex scenes have some dark and twisted aspects as well.

The movie starts out with two hot women, who we come to realize very quickly are having an affair together. The first scene is the two of them on a bed, going at it with mouths and fingers and ending with the use of a huge double dong. I really enjoyed this scene for the most part. My only complaint, which will be the same with all of the scenes, is that it was just too long for me. Some may really like that, but all the scenes in this movie seem to go on forever. I don't know if it is just me and my ADD kicking in, but I don't want to see the same people going at it for 20 to 30 minutes. No big deal though, because I can just fast forward. Anyway, they are laying together in the after math, when in walks the blond's husband. He is very angry at finding his wife cheating. So much so that he proceeds to knock her around a bit, threaten to kill her, and rape her. She isn't putting up a fight, and is trying very hard to coddle him, so it's not too horribly violent, but it is rough. This may disturb some viewers, but we actually liked the roughness and the harsh language of this scene. Of course, the brunette chick is forced to watch and then eventually gets thrown into the mix. All in all this was a very hot scene, but again... too long. This scene ends with the brunette stabbing the husband and killing him. For the squeamish, I will say that the death scenes in this movie are mostly blood splatters. You never really see the slashing or the wounds, and there isn't any gore.

So here we see where the "Thelma and Louise" theme comes in. The two women hop in a convertible and go on the run. They run into some trouble when they meet up with a cop, who is none other than Evan Stone. He is the only actor I recognized in this whole movie. I won't ruin the movie by breaking down all of the scenes , but I will give you a general idea. This is where the movie turns into " The House of a 1000 Corpses ", except a lot less gruesome. The cop ends up being a mental case who kidnaps these women and holds them in his home with his equally fucked up wife and a man she refers to as her "sister". It is never really made clear how this man is related to this couple, if at all. He too is messed up mentally and seems child like, which makes his sex scene seem taboo and all kinds of wrong. I would like to say that the actors who played these roles did a great job. While it's not award worthy, it is definitely entertaining and hilarious. Evan Stone's character and his wife really play that sick, twisted, "white trash, hillbilly, inbred" role well. I was actually pleasantly surprised and found myself watching intently to see what the hell they were going to do next.

As stated before, we are HUGE Horror movie fans and we really enjoyed this movie for that reason alone. If your not a fan of horror movies, you may not like this as much as we did. Still, the sex scenes are hot if you like it a little rough and different. There is some slapping around, some restraining, and some forced situations. The women are sexy, if a little on the trashy side, and my girl seemed to like the men in this movie. Maybe we are a little odd, but we like the "trashiness" every now and then. We also liked the fact that they were bat shit crazy and creepy. It's like when you watched "House of a 1000 Corpse's" or "The Devil's Rejects" and the sexual abuse of their captive's turned you on a little bit(even if you have never admitted it to any one) and you wanted to see them get it on. Of course that's before the gory violence happens and you are totally repulsed, but this movie doesn't go there any way, so you're safe! Seriously, maybe I'm totally off here, no one knows what I'm talking about, and you will all think I'm a sick and twisted pervert who needs to be locked up somewhere. If I'm right though, there are others out there who will get off on the MILDLY dark and twisted. This movie seemed more like a comedy to us, as it doesn't take itself too seriously. We were laughing all through it. Even the violent parts are comedic. It really isn't done too twisted or gory, but just enough to feel a little creepy. All in all, it's better than watching the same old porn that you've been watching for years.

I still really like this one. We have watched it a few times and I still get a kick out of it. Fans of Evan Stone will love his acting in this one. As an example of the comedic aspects of this movie, Evan Stone's character pulls out an inhaler repeatedly while chasing his captive. It's hilarious and the movie even ends with him walking out of the bushes and having to take a hit off of the inhaler. Even though I got this one free to review, I would gladly pay the $22 for this movie. It is well worth it in my opinion.