The Masseuse 3 by Digital Playground - review by Tuesday

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Kayden is like a box of chocolates...

The highlight of this movie for me was the opportunity to hear Mick Blue's delightful accent. He has more dialogue in this movie than in other movies of his that I've seen. Too bad I can't say that a sex scene was the highlight. Usually porn movies have one scene that I enjoy, but this movie didn't. It does however have a very erotic massage scene.
Published:
Pros:
Beautiful sets, attractive actors, Mick Blue's accent
Cons:
uninventive sex
Rating by reviewer:
3
extremely useful review
...You never know what you're going to get, to steal a line from the movie Forrest Gump. In Masseuse 3, Kayden plays a woman with multiple personality disorder. This allows her to assume numerous, wildly different roles during the course of the movie.

With the exception of the too-frequent closeups in scene two, the camerawork was good. The sets were nice too. The movie takes place in well-furnished, upscale homes or in a doctor's office.

The idea of the movie is different, but the sex didn't excite me. The women were all too loud and all the sex was vanilla without too much variety.

Scene I - Kayden Kross and Scott Nails
After a brief series of clips from Masseuse 1 and 2, the movie begins with Kayden getting dressed in a sexy camo top and matching short shorts as she hides behind curtains and peeks out a window at the approaching Scott Nails. She uses a pink air rifle to threaten Scott who was sent by James to give her a massage. Her first sentences are inaudible. She grills him in military fashion as though she's a soldier at war. After a few minutes of this she leaps on him, initiating plans other than massage. Too bad she's not more inaudible during their sex scene. He finishes into her open mouth.

Scene 2 - Yurizan Beltran and Toni Ribas
This scene begins with a closeup of Yurizan and Toni kissing. Her breasts are big and natural. Such lovely movement. But she seems too ecstatic with every single touch. Her responses did not seem genuine. There were numerous closeups in this scene including many closeups of the odd expressions on her face as she sucks air in between her teeth in mock excitement. We never hear the characters mention each other's name or see any reason for the scene. Her bra never comes off but remains on and pulled under her breasts.

When they are nearly done, Samantha comes by and hears her loud heaving. She waits on a couch outside the door.

They finish with Yurizan giving him a blow job. She can't even stop moaning for this.

Scene 3 - James Deen and Samantha Ryan
As Yurizan and Toni leave, Sam criticizes them for not paying rent and for having sex whenever they want. Later, in the pool room, James enters to give the clearly agitated Sam a massage. She requests a hand massage and seems to derive a ridiculous amount of pleasure from it. The massage of course leads to sex although it appears that their regular massage sessions had been platonic until that point. My dreams of a quiet woman are not realized in this scene. I had to completely turn the sound off. He finishes on her abdomen.

Scene 4 - Mick Blue and Francesca Le
Mick Blue plays Kayden's psychiatrist in this movie. Let's ignore for the moment that psychiatrists don't practice in exam rooms with blood pressure instruments on the wall, like an ordinary doctor's office and that they don't wear white coats. Mick does both of these in this movie.

In this scene, Mick's wife, Francesca Le, shows Mick a bathing suit she bought for a vacation. She wants sex now and tries to convince him to sleep with her right there in the exam room, even though he tells her his next patient is quite fragile. While they discussed this I couldn't help mentally urging him to be responsible and see his next patient. But that's just my strict upbringing. In order to have some alone time with Mick, Francesca steps into the waiting room and tells Mick's next patient he's running behind schedule. Their sex scene is nice and their attempts to stay quiet so others won't hear them are amusing, although they stop trying to be quiet after a few minutes. He finishes on her face.

They have quite a bit of dialogue in this scene. I hadn't realized how sexy Mick's accent is. I could listen to him talk all day.

Mick then sees his next patient, Kayden. She shows her journal to Mick. It appears that she has serious mental issues including periods of time where she doesn't know what she has just been doing or how she arrived in a particular situation.
Experience
Scene 5 - Mick Blue and Kayden Kross
Mick stops by Kayden's house as she shows it to a potential buyer. James also stops by to give Kayden a massage, but Kayden, who is now "Jackie", doesn't know what he's talking about. The potential buyer, who is actually Kayden's husband in this movie, suggests that she take the massage. When Kayden leaves the room, the husband thanks the doctor for stopping by since this delusion has lasted a long time - long enough for her to sell her house several times.

We then see James giving Kayden a platonic, but sexy massage. She is covered with only a skimpy towel. I kept hoping James would move his hand closer to her genitals, but he was quite professional about this massage. This massage was the most erotic part of the whole movie.

Mick then enters her room where Kayden is sleeping. She is yet another person and asks him to pretend that they are Brad and Angelina. So begins their sex scene. I have nothing noteworthy to say about the sex in this scene. The conclusion of this scene is the end of the movie. I doubt Dr. Blue's last treatment helped her.

Extras:
Behind The Scene: 13 minutes Kayden admits that she received the script the night before shooting. Samantha describes her role as 'a bitch.' Smart phone use, twitter and hair removal were also covered among other topics.
Slide show
Gallery
Trailers
- trailers for eight other DP movies
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.
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Comments
  • married with children
    no good sex scenes, I will pass on this one. thanks for the review.
  • Noira Celestia
    Just watched this one today as well and found ourselves a little bored with the sex scenes as well. I definitely agree about Mick Blue's accent, it definitely got my attention when I was watching. We found the behind the scenes entertaining though. I'll have to give this one another try before handing out judgment though.
  • Noira Celestia
    Oh by the way, I say "we" because I was watching it with my partner.
  • Antipova
    When I read reviews of movies like this, I feel like I probably am not missing much by not watching mainstream porn. Nice review, though!
  • Tuesday
    Antipova, You have a point. Maybe I'm jaded now, but the most erotic porn I've seen is amateur porn. In professional porn, the men are good, but the women always seem like they're trying too hard to look like they're having a good time.
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