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Kayden Kross is hot, but that's about as good as this movie gets

Sadly, I don't recommend this because I know there are plenty of better porn videos to waste your money on. Seriously. Even if you're a Kayden Kross fan, this one's sort of difficult to stick through with. If you're looking for Kayden Kross, try Family Matters. The Masseuse just is not a good movie.
Published:
Pros:
Kayden Kross, attractive female cast, awesome resolution
Cons:
unattractive male cast, not arousing, no plot, unorganized
Rating by reviewer:
2
extremely useful review
Before I start my rant, let me just say that I am not in any way, difficult to please, nor prude, nor anything religious. I get turned on very easily, and porn is something I enjoy. The Masseuse from Digital Playground, a adult movie producer that is famous for its famous contract stars and high resolution, however, was a complete let down for me.

I was excited to try it at first because I'm a huge fan of Kayden Kross. She's not only gorgeous, but her orgasms are...well, orgasmic. If I've ever jacked off to anything from visual appeal only, it'd be one of her movies. She, as always, looked great in The Masseuse. But that's really the highest praise I am willing to give to the DVD because everything else was disappointing.

What, specifically was disappointing for me? For starters, the sex. Shouldn't the sex, if nothing else, be good in porn? Well, it wasn't in this movie. It seemed incredibly, incredibly unrealistic, and I know porn isn't known for being particularly heavy on verisimilitude, but still, to an extent to be unenjoyable? That's just unacceptable. Most of the male cast members were not very attractive either. The other female cast members were all right, but still, Kayden was the best part. You have a girl as pretty as her banging all these unattractive men, and it just doesn't set the mood. That probably sounds really shallow, but I'm not sorry. Porn is the shallowest thing known to mankind in the first place.

Now let's talk about plot. This is going to be a bit hard for me because The Masseuse doesn't particularly even have a plot. None that I could follow anyway. Again, I know good porn doesn't need a good plot to be considered "good". But if the sex scenes are lacking, doesn't that mean there at least needs to be some content to it? Apparently not.

Overall, yes, this one isn't a movie a recommend. Maybe if you're a Kayden fan, you can sit through it, but I guarantee it won't be very exciting.
Follow-up commentary
I honestly can't say I can find any enjoyment in this DVD. It's just so poor in every which aspect (aside from resolution...damn high res!) that I don't find it arousing nor well-crafted enough to give it any praise.
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.
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This review was edited by
  • Lady Neshamah Lady Neshamah
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Comments
  • faust
    faust  
    nice review
  • limitless
    limitless  
    Thank you!
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