Lost Forever...I Hope.

Overall, the entire thing was pretty dull. There's a whole lot of straightforward, jackhammer pounding, in various positions and without the chemistry that can make even regular, vanilla sex totally fiery. I doubt that I will ever watch this again. If I do, I'll skip straight to the last scene, which features two cast members who weren't even pictured in the rest of the film!
Published:
Pros:
Beautiful location, a few decent moments, one good scene out of six.
Cons:
Abrasive cast members, offensive language, very vanilla, jackhammer fucking.
Rating by reviewer:
1
extremely useful review
General: What you need to know about this flick is that it's reality porn. Reality porn basically involves a cast and crew being sent off to a location for filming where the crew hangs out like a group of friends, partying, fucking, and having fun. Sadly, it's quite poorly done reality porn. The chemistry between the actors isn't what it needs to be to make for an effective and enjoyable viewing experience. There are a couple redeemable scenes, but they don't make up for some other very unpleasant moments.

Packaging: I'll be honest, I tend to appreciate porn that doesn't necessarily scream "PORN" when you look at the spine or the front cover. Unfortunately, that seems somewhat difficult to come by, with rare exceptions. "Lost in Puerto Rico" by Shane's World Productions is no exception. The box is loud and bright, with nude shots on the back and front. If you have any need to be discreet with your porn consumption, be prepared to stash this one somewhere secret. Oddly enough, it says "Collector's Edition" across the top. I didn't know they made collector's editions of porn!

The description on the back reads: "Casey was dying to have sex on the beach, so she packed up her friends and headed to beautiful Puerto Rico. After driving for hours, Casey and Jack found their secluded spot. Later she had sex with Will in a tropical rain forest. While Casey was out practicing her spanish, Victoria and Allison were banging the boys. Come join the fun and get Lost in Puerto Rico!"

Cast:

Casey Parker is cute, bubbly, and likeable, with a lovely, natural body. Will Powers is handsome and seems down-to-earth and charming, (until he uses the term "blackies" to refer to black people...What the hell?) Justin Magnum...what can I say? Hottie with an adorable accent. Renna is sexy, Victoria Sweet is completely adorable and her chemistry with Allison Pierce is totally rockin'. Allison herself is really whiny and kinda irritating, but quite pretty. I really love that all these beautiful women had amazing breasts. Why are they so amazing? They're au natural. Love it!

There is one performance that stands out in this film, with all the drama of a train wreck. Unfortunately, just like a train wreck...No matter how painful it was to watch, I couldn't look away. Jack Venice is an abrasive, obnoxious, repellant meathead. He confesses he's never had a girlfriend. Gee. What a shocker.

Some takeaway wisdom from Jack Venice - "If you have a girlfriend, you might as well not call her a girlfriend. Call her a speedbump...on the highway to success." "I don't even believe in love anyway. I believe in money." "Hey, can you suck on my wiener? Okay, now I'm gonna take a nap." "Bisexual's cool, but don't go dyke on me." "I would say that it's fair to say that my penis has been inserted into over 700 vaginas." While some of these things are potentially funny...His general demeanor and attitude make them totally offensive.

Scenes:

Jack and Victoria in the rain - Hot. Sex in the rain is awesome. About midway through, the sun comes out and they move to a shady rock, dappled with light. Victoria's a trooper. That boulder looks pretty uncomfortable to lay on. Otherwise, her obvious enjoyment makes the scene very sexy. You know what makes this scene even hotter? Jack's not talking.

Casey and Will by the waterfall - Smokin'. What an amazing setting for a scene. The water's rushing in the background while Casey sucks Will's big, gorgeous cock. I particularly loved when Casey was right on the edge and Will was actually standing in the water. Beautiful. Ends with another cum shot across the woman's stomach, as did the first scene.

Jack and Allison in the back of the van - Horrible and awkward. She is noticeably intoxicated and spends half the time asking to put her clothes back on, seemingly torn between wanting to do her job and being totally unhappy that doing her job involves doing Jack Venice. The whole thing savors strongly of drunken date rape. She tells Jack to fuck her harder and he gets seriously bent out of shape, which is an incredibly uncomfortable moment. His sense of his manhood is obviously dangling by a thread.

Casey and Jack on the beach - Lukewarm. A bit of blowjob, with little chemistry, before Casey goes down on her hands and knees to get it from behind. This part is pretty great, with the waves rolling in the background and Casey clearly having the time of her life. After getting interrupted by some guys watching them, they relocate and get back to business in a whole host of positions, ending with a cum shot across her face.
Experience
Scenes, Continued:

Allison and Will in the bedroom - Allison's another one who's so much better when she's not talking...A little bit of facefucking, deepthroating, and some voyeurism on the part of Casey and Jack watching from the corner makes this a pretty hot scene. Until they start giggling and laughing, and Casey farts on Jack, totally ruining the mood. (I cannot make this shit up.) Fortunately, they leave, and some semi-hot sex finally happens, complete with some firm spankings.

Justin and Renna back home - They pick up Casey from the airport and then have a super hot scene starting with him eating her out and fingering her, her giving him a phenomenal blowjob, and some slightly more-than-decent fucking. They have superb verbal interaction, which just gives me more opportunities to enjoy his sexy accent. Why didn't THEY come on the trip? They have amazing chemistry and are both super hot! This is hands down the best scene in the film.

Conclusion: Overall, the entire thing was pretty dull. There's a whole lot of straightforward, jackhammer pounding, in various positions and without the chemistry that can make even regular, vanilla sex totally fiery. Aside from being irritated beyond belief by Jack's behavior, I did not find myself terribly stimulated, with the exception of a few short snippets. As with most commercially produced pornography, there is little to no mention of female orgasm and nearly all of the scenes ends with a male orgasm. I doubt that I will ever watch this again. If I do, I'll skip straight to the last scene!

If you like the idea of reality porn and enjoy the tropical setting, there are other options available. For a much better take on a similar concept, check out Shane's World Volume 42 - Paradise Island.

---

This is my first time attempting to review pornography. I struggled a bit with how to even begin and how to approach it. I ended up formatting it in categories based on what I care about most when it comes to porn, as well as summaries of the scenes. Feedback would be much appreciated. Did I leave anything out?
Follow-up commentary
I still don't like this. I never will. In fact, I wish I could find someone to take it off my hands. What does one do with used porn DVDs, anyway?
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.
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Comments
  • GONE!
    GONE!  
    Sounds pretty terrible! D: Great review though!
  • lexical
    lexical  
    It was just...not good. I tried to be thorough in explaining WHY it was not good! Thanks!
  • wrmbreze
    wrmbreze  
    I think you summed it up pretty well and ITA!
  • Owl Identified
    Owl Identified  
    "Blackies"....? Why does Eden even carry this fucked up shit?
  • LostBoy988
    LostBoy988  
    Great work on the review
  • lexical
    lexical  
    Thanks, everyone!

    @Owl Identified...I honestly have no idea. That one made my jaw drop...Not to mention Jack Venice spouting "dyke" all over the place...There are so many better alternatives.
  • Ivy Wilde
    Ivy Wilde  
    Ugh! Sounds like a lousy dvd, but thanks for your review.
  • lexical
    lexical  
    It was quite terrible. You're welcome! lol
  • Missmarc
    Missmarc  
    thank you for the review, it does sound pretty vanilla. Wow, there's actually a fart scene? LOL!
  • lexical
    lexical  
    I kknow, right? Ridiculous!
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