The Masseuse 3 by Digital Playground - review by ToyTimeTim

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May have been better if it was a book.

Who does not like a sensual massage; add in a great cast of good looking actors and it’s a big WIN, right? Well, no, not really. For me, the Masseuse was an epic fail. The sex was not only vanilla but downright boring. Massage? Only one small scene there, unless you consider a hand job massage. A plot, not anything to speak of.
Published:
Pros:
Combo pack, Great massage scene, Good looking actors.
Cons:
Boring sex, long scenes, lack of plot, not enough prelude from first three.
Rating by reviewer:
2
extremely useful review
The Masseuse from Digital Underground comes is a two disk set that gives you a bonus Blu-Ray disk. The cover has a nice design, front and back. There are some screen shots and Kayden Kross is center right on the front cover. Looking at the DVD case you would think that this porn should be hot, ya, like a melted vanilla ice cream cone that has fallen on the sidewalk.

The story line for this porn is twofold; one about a guy that has a house call massage service. He has asked a couple of friends to help out with his growing work load, since it seems the clients always want sex, they are more than happy to help. The other story is about Kayden's mental issues; she does not always remember who she is or where she has been. I think in order to know anything about the plot of this movie you have to see the first two. If number three is anything to go off of, I would say it probably is not worth the purchase of the first two.

There is five sex scenes for you viewing pleasure (Or not), all but one are pretty much the same. Lots of oral, PIV and ‘Pop shots’ to face and body. Most of the scenes consist of cowboy, spooning and reverse cowboy either on a couch or bed. One scene has most of the oral and sex while the actors are standing up but finishes on a couch. This scene was possibly the best as far as variation of positions but was still just plain old vanilla sex. The scene with the only real massage in it is the hottest of them all and it does not even have sex!

If you are still interested, I have outlined the sex scenes for you below.

Scene one: Kayden Kross and Scott Nails.
The scene starts with Kayden looking out the window and hurrying to put on some army shorts and top because someone is at the door. She answers the door with a pink rifle (Toy gun here complete with orange tip) and drags Scott in. She drills him with questions of why he is there and who sent him. After twenty questions she has him strip off his clothes and the action begins. This scene ends with Scott comeing on her face.

Scene two: Tony Ribas Yurizan Beltran.
This scene starts with a view of a house and goes to the couple kissing in a bed which of course turns into sex. The cameraman during this scene is fascinated with Yurizan’s tits as a lot of the shots are of them. It ends with her giving him a blowjob to conclusion.


Scene three: Samantha Ryan and James Deen.
After Tony and Yurizan are finished they exit the room to find Samantha, Tony’s ex girlfriend and roommate, waiting on the couch outside the bed room. Seems she is pretty upset with Tony. She heads off to play pool while waiting for her masseuse, James Deen, to arrive. When he gets there she talks to him about her problem with Tony and asks for his advice. She then asks for her massage and this leads to standing oral of both parties against the pool table. The have the first part of their sex standing and then move to the couch. Scott finishes on her chest. This was my favorite scene of the bunch but there is a lot of sweat and the lack of different-non vanilla sex made it just ok.

Scene four: Mick Blue, Francesca Le.
From the last scene we jump to a Dr’s office where Mick and Francesca are talking about party they will be going to. She decides she wants some sex from her man and proceeds to talk him into it. The problem is Kayden, his next patient, is waiting for her appointment. Francesca sticks her head out and informs Kayden that he will be delayed a bit. This frees up Mick and the sex begins. This scene is not only long and boring, the acting was on the poor side and there was not that much chemistry between them. It ends with Mick comeing on her face

Scene five: Kayden and James.
After talking with the Doc about meds not working that good, we find that Kayden is now a real estate agent and is showing a house. She is showing the house to a perspective buyer who happens to be her husband. He has called the Doc and he shows up right before the masseuse arrives. Hubby tells her to go ahead with the massage and he leaves.

continued
Experience
This is the only scene with any kind of real massage, and it is very sensual. I so wish I was the one rubbing that hot body. No sex and James does not even touch her in any way sexual but it was still very hot! There is some nice shots of Kaydens ass and pussy and it is a wonder that James can keep his hands from touching her genitals.


After the massage, Dr. Mick heads back in to check on Kayden. Not realizing he is her Dr., she begins kissing him and he just cannot help himself. Of course there is only one thing to do. Lots of kissing ensues along with oral and vaginal sex ending with the pop shot on her face. Meh, pretty boring, long and not very hot.

I think this is one of the only porn’s that has not done something for me; I get better arousal reading books. I am pretty bummed because I expect much more from DP; they have not let me down until this DVD. I guess that if you are new to porn or have the other two DVD’s in this series, you may like it. For most though, I think it will be an epic fail. One thing that would have helped a bunch would be to shorten the sex scenes; they are all too long, except for the massage. Some more prelude to the story may have helped, but then there would need to be more plot. With the poor acting during the sex scenes and lack of chemistry, it may have been better to just leave it all out. It's almost like they still had some footage left over from the first two movies and just tossed them together for this one.

Extras include; the Blu-Ray disc, behind the scenes, a slide show, gallery and trailers.
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.
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Comments
  • Purpleladybug
    Purpleladybug  
    Thanks for the review!!
  • married with children
    married with children  
    great review, thanks. I hate sex scenes that are too long. they get boring really fast.
  • ToyTimeTim
    ToyTimeTim  
    Welcome Purpleladybug.

    Me too, sloppy donkey, very fast. If there was some different positions or something that would be different.
  • Redboxbaby
    Redboxbaby  
    You are not alone on your take of this film. It really sucked. This was my first review that I didn't have to cut words from. Sorry for all of us that had to watch it.
  • ToyTimeTim
    ToyTimeTim  
    Agreed Redboxbaby! But ya know, you win some, you lose some.
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