Tristan Taormino's Expert Guide to Threesomes - erotic video by Vivid - review by Foxxy Kitty

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Tristan Taormino’s Expert Guide to Threesomes doesn’t leave much to be desired. If you really want to learn about having threesomes, you are better off buying another DVD, reading a book about it, or just exploring it on your own terms. Ms. Taormino doesn’t own the show like a sex and relationship expert guide should, nor does she give any ground breaking tips that makes this DVD worth buying. The overt Vivid marketing doesn’t help as well. LOOK ELSEWHERE.
Published:
Pros:
It’s short at an hour and 18 minutes, simple tips and advice that anyone can understand and follow.
Cons:
Too short, not helpful, awkward, corny, too much about Vivid’s porn stars and sex toy products.
Rating by reviewer:
1
extremely useful review
Tristan Taormino’s Expert Guide to Threesomes is not what one would expect on a visual guide about threesomes. It focuses very little on actual threesomes; instead, it focuses more on advertising Vivid Entertainment and their porn stars. Before you even get down to the actual feature itself, there are nine campy and corny commercials with some of Vivid’s porn star girls talking dirty while trying to advertise Vivid’s products, AND having sex at the same time, which looked hilarious but for the most part, awkward, corny, and eeringly robotic. It will basically leave you thinking, “Is this video about real people having threesomes or about porn stars having threesomes?” The video slightly remembers that it is about real people, so they give Tristan Taormino the spotlight, but then…it all goes downhill from there.

Tristan Taormino, sex and relationship expert, first delves into what a threesome relationship can do for you. She notes that a threesome can bring excitement to one’s sex life and how it can make one’s relationship more honest and open minded since they are sharing and delving into each other’s fantasies. She delves into the types of threesome, such as “the V threesome,” which has two people having sex with the third person but not each other (such as two girls pleasing the man but not pleasing each other), and the “triangle threesome” where all parties have sex with each other.

Naturally, Ms. Taormino mentions a threesome between two girls and one guy, and two guys and one girl. She delves into seven simple tips, such as communicating, choosing the right fit for the threesome, setting boundaries, and so on. I was surprised at how short and sweet Ms. Taormino’s presentation was; at most it lasted for ten minutes. Although the short and sweet approach is pretty straightforward, one might not find that it was that helpful and that the information and tips given is pretty ordinary and nothing special or new. Also, one might find Ms. Taormino to be somewhat, well, boring. At times she seems very nervous in front of the camera, and speaks down to you as if she’s teaching sex education to a bunch of middle-schoolers. It was only near the end where she finally relaxed and had more fun with the presentation, but by that time, the whole presentation makes you feel like you’ve been ripped off.

The “acting” also didn’t leave much to be desired. Obviously, all these actors are porn stars. It would have been nice if they had real people having real sex, instead of shooting it like a soft core porno. The majority of the feature has a couple of Vivid’s porn stars putting Taormino’s tips into action, with Taormino’s voice pretty much saying the exact same things that she had said in the lesson (you have the option to also turn off the instruction during the sex scenes). It would have been more helpful if she added some extra tips, or at least expand her vocabulary, or say something similar to what was said instead of repeating the exact same tips. The acting, although trying to be steamy and “realistic,” just wasn’t realistic enough, nor hot enough, to make anybody learn about the fun and exciting world of threesome sex.

This film overall fails by focusing more so on the porn stars and how well they can have a threesome in bed and how many positions they can do in one night instead of focusing on us, real people who want to have a threesome. If this film were called “The Guide to Making a Threesome Porno,” then this would be right up one’s alley. Sadly, Tristan Taormino doesn’t own this film like she should; it’s the porn stars who pretty much rule the production. Tristan gets her ten minutes while the porn stars get their full hour and eight minutes, the equivalent of an actual porno. It’s a shame, because Tristan Taormino had some good things to say. Although not helpful or interesting, it was still insightful and simple. Vivid Ed, unfortunately, is just not focused on educating us. They are more focused on advertising Vivid’s sex toys and Vivid’s porn stars. The over ten minutes of porn stars posing for the camera, showing off their ass, talking like a robot on helium, and advertising sex toys BEFORE the film even starts just says it all.
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.
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Comments
  • Brandon
    Brandon  
    Sorry to hear that this DVD did not work for you. It seems they should rethink the concept of "guide."
  • Beautiful Dreamer
    Beautiful Dreamer  
    Awww. I was hoping this would be good. Sad face thanks for the honest review.
  • Epiphora
    Epiphora  
    Well, it IS a porn movie. It's supposed to be educational, but it's also supposed to be a porno. Unfortunately, the ads at the beginning are par for the course with porn movies.
  • Foxxy Kitty
    Foxxy Kitty  
    This was advertised as an "educational" porno, and yes i'm aware that it is a porno, but nonetheless, this DVD is just poorly advertised and misleading, esp. with the title "expert guide to threesomes." The casual buyer/viewer wouldn't really think of this as a porno with that kind of title and advertising. And mind you, not all pornos have ten minutes of ads, i actually have never watched a porno with as many ads as this one. There's just no excuse for it; if it was meant to be a porno, it should have been advertised that way.
  • Foxxy Kitty
    Foxxy Kitty  
    Also, being that it is a "guide," one would naturally think that it is supposed to be an educational sex video, NOT a porno. It was just a poorly done and misleading educational sex vid posing itself more as a porno, when it really shouldn't be, being how it was advertised and presented.
  • Liz2
    Liz2  
    As a Taormino fan, I am disappointed. Thanks for the informative review.
  • Airen Wolf
    Airen Wolf  
    I have to agree with Liz2 it is very disappointing to see Ms. Taormino put out something watered down and clearly not an "expert guide". While I will admit it might make sense that porn stars would know how to perform a threesome this isn't an expert guide to threesomes for porn stars! Threesomes are a delicate balancing act and while they CAN increase the intimacy, honesty and excitement in an established relationship, a threesome can also ruin your relationship if handled with unrealistic expectations. I really expected more than an advert for more porn....

    Thanks for the review!
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