Twindom by Vivid - review by Viktor Vysheslav Malkin

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This film is riddled with errors that could have been fixed on set, however the director chose not to. Many times throughout the film a performer would stumble over a line but this version of the line made it in the finale cut. With all its flaws, this still has some bright spots, for example the sex scenes were above average, and if you are a Love twins fan then they are great. Taken as a whole, if you are not a fan of the twins then this is a certain pass.
Published:
Pros:
Good sex scenes.
Cons:
Poor directing, many dialogue errors, and poor plot.
Rating by reviewer:
2
extremely useful review
Front Cover:
The front cover is mostly sepia in color scheme with a picture of the twins Lacey and Lyndsey Love. In the background is a chalk outline, however this chalk outline is definitely different from a normal chalk outline, this outline has a huge penis. I felt that the picture of the twins was not a very good one; the twins seemed to have vacant expressions, which gave the cover a odd feel.
FrontCover

Back cover:
The back cover is well designed and very attractive, more so than the front. There are a total of nine screen shots from the movie as well as a general description of the movie.
BackCover

Menus:
The menus are a little cluttered and to someone new to DVDs (yeah there are people out there who are) as well as experienced DVD owners may find this difficult to navigate. I felt that the “Position Room” feature was unnecessary, for the chapter index is good enough. The “Position Room” is a feature that allows you to view a certain position from all the scenes.
Menus

Film overview - with potential plot spoilers
Intro
The movie starts out in a morgue, where the twins Lacey and Lyndsey Love are asked to identify a body. They confirm that the body is not the body of their friend Joey. Lacey does however feel the need to have sex with aspiring Russian comedian (The true highlight of this film was this actor). Lacy passes out onto the bed that sat the Joey look-alike. Lyndsey tells the mortician “She does this all the time, she just wants attention” and then storms out of the room. The mortician then begins to touch Lacey’s breasts. Lacy regains composure and the two move to another hospital bed where the two have sex (oral and vaginal). Meanwhile, Lyndsey masturbates in the hall way.
Scene1
Scene1-1


The next scene starts out with another set of twins (though obviously not twins, one from U.K, one from U.S.A) meeting up with the Love twins. The pair of twins decides to go out to a pool hall, where they meet a pair of male twins (obviously not twins). The group has a foursome featuring oral and vaginal intercourse. This scene adds nothing to the story.
Scene2

The next scene starts out with the girls talking about how Lacy has met a guy online. The guy shows up and of course Lacy has sex with the guy while Lyndsey masturbates off in the distance. This scene features oral and vaginal sex, and ends with a guy ejaculating over Lacey’s ass. Afterward the guy confesses to Lacey that he has “rubbed out” Joey and that she knows too much and she is next. The guy tries to strangle Lacey, but Lyndsey shows up and knocks him out with a frying pan. Lyndsey then looks at the camera and says “Let’s go to the next scene!”
Scene3-1
Scene3-2

The next scene starts out with twins talking about how they are getting bored with their boyfriends. Then the camera shows their identical twin boyfriends (their boyfriends are clearly not identical twins) talking about the same thing. The guys show up and the girls begin to give them a blow job. After some time passes, Lacey abruptly says “I’ve got to go to the bath room” and leaves with Lyndsey following closely behind. The two switch clothes and return. Lyndsey has sex with Lacey’s boyfriend while Lacey and Lyndsey’s boyfriend (who is clueless to the switch) watch on. This scene features oral and vaginal sex before the male performer ejaculates onto Lyndsey’s chest. Afterward one of the guys tells the girls that Joey says “hello”. They can not believe that Joey is still alive.
Scene4-1
Scene4-2

The next scene starts out with the girls interrogating the mortician. Joey then reveals himself and explains that he has a twin, and that his twin was whacked (killed/murdered). Joey and the girls then have oral and vaginal sex, before the scene ends with a double cumover. This is the true end of the film, but there is one more scene.
Scene5

The very last scene is an advertisement featuring Jenna Jameson talking about Vivid’s own brand of condoms. Why this could not have been a bonus feature like it is in so many of Vivid’s other movies is beyond me. Vivid already fills up their DVDs with enough garbage advertisements.

Camera work:
The camera quality felt dated, the picture was a little bit grainy, and perhaps this gives the film an unintended vintage feel. The camera angles were very good, as was the camera work in general (lighting, Shadows, locations, etc.).

Sound work:
The sound quality is good; you can clearly hear all of the spoken dialogue as well as the sex sounds.
Experience
(Continued)

Bonus Features:
Position Room
Behind the Scenes
Vivid Extra Girls (5 bonus scenes)
Photo Gallery
Vivid Previews
Telemarketing ads ($0.99 minute sex lines)
The Web

Personal Comments:
If you are a fan of the Love twins, then you will find this movie enjoyable. If you are just a fan of twins in adult films you may find this movie to be bellow average.

I felt this movie was just bellow average. The acting was awful, and I am not entirely certain this is the twins’ fault. There were many times throughout the film where the twins made an error, whether it saying the wrong word and correcting themselves or stuttering through a word. This was not their fault; the director should have done the dialogue over. In the behind the scenes one of the girls says “We got to do that over, I am going to sound like an idiot” to which the director says “No we are fine, it just makes you seem more human”. I felt the director’s approach to be wrong, does he not care about the quality of film he is directing?

There were even some miscues throughout the film, one of which was Lacey almost walking into a camera. This could have been simply edited out or fixed on the set. I do not know how to judge the editing, for the directing was so bad. The editing could not have been easy, and there is only so much an editor can do. All I can tell you is that there were no obvious edits, which could be a good or bad thing (when taking into the account how many errors were in this film).

I think the behind the scenes really brought to light the Love twins’ personalities, which really does a service to them. They even make fun of the script and the choice of talent that was chosen. They even read off the script and say when something is illogical, for example Lyndsey talked about how the fake twins looked nothing like identical twins. For some reason I began to respect them just a little bit more for this.

I am going to give this a two star rating, I felt that the obvious lack of effort on the director’s part was an absolute atrocity, and to add in the average camera quality, you really have a lackluster film. There were a few saving graces, one being the great sex scenes, another being the one and only awesome acting performances by the Russian mortician.
Follow-up commentary
One word comes to mind when I watch or think of this film! That word: Dated. As in this film feels like it was made in 1998 instead of 2005/2006. The back says it all, or rather, does not say it all. What I mean is, this film does not appear to be shot in HD, and I can not find any mention of HD on the back.

Moving past the not so swell picture quality and on to the lack luster acting. The acting, while not intentionally bad, was absolutely horrid and mistakes were left unattended to. The director is partially at fault, as I explained in the initial review, this Director felt that leaving the girl's mistakes in gave them a more human quality. Well Mr. Director, they are already human, unless they are aliens that look identical to humans in every possible way. I seen them chicks nekkid, they are HUMAN, you do not need to humanize them.

Again, I can not recommend this film, and it surly has prevented me from exploring other films that the twins have participated in, which I find to be sad and unfortunate.
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Comments
  • Jobthingy
    HA! The chalk outline is killing me
  • Viktor Vysheslav Malkin
    Haha yeah, it was probably the best thing on the cover
  • married with children
    sad, i was hoping this would be a better film. I still dont have a porn with twins, i wanted to get this one. I think i will pass and keep looking. great review. thanks
  • Viktor Vysheslav Malkin
    Thanks sloppy donkey!

    If I had to suggest a good twins film, I'd go with the series "The Milton Twins", they are smoking hot and they do a variety of sex acts, girl/girl, girl/boy, girl/girl (strap-on) and etc. They have even did some pregnant porn (if anyone was interested)
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