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Shouldn't This Be Called 'The Masseur'?

This is a typical porn flick in which all reality is suspended and there are no consequences for unprofessional behavior and outright ethical violations. The sex is run of the mill and not at all unusual but the situations are still kind of kinky. In short, though inappropriately named, 'The Masseuse 3' has a spot on my porn shelf. It's just the sort of odd movie that catches my attention and makes me come back later.
Published:
Pros:
Beautiful actors, good cinematics and sound quality
Cons:
VERY weak plot, professional ethics are non-existent, straight hetero-normative sex
Rating by reviewer:
3
extremely useful review
I like movies that incorporate the sensuality of stroking and touching the body which flows into hot erotic sex. That sounds like an amazing plot to a great movie doesn't it? Sure it does! 'The Masseuse 3,' however, has NONE of these qualities.

I was actually pretty impressed at how this movie plot managed have absolutely nothing to do with the title of the movie. First of all Digital Playground, a masseuse is a female who performs massage after spending a certain number of hours training. A man who performs the same service is a masseur. There were no women actually performing massages in this movie...in fact there was little to no massage at all in this movie!

After watching the opening of the movie we are informed that James Deen has a home massage business that his friends have taken to a new raunchy level. My problem with the plot is our Mr. Deen doesn't seem to have any problems crossing the line into unprofessional behavior, himself, but more on that later.

The first scene involves Kayden Kross and Scott Nails. It is pretty scripted and starts out with Kayden pacing in front of a window while dressing in some camoflage print pseudo paramilitary clothing. when Scott arrives at the door she pounces on him and demands to know what the mission is. She pulls out a toy machine gun and brandishes it at him before forcing him to strip. They end up on the couch having oral and then vaginal sex before the 'money shot'.

The movie seems to be trying to show what might happen to a traveling masseur when he arrives at client's houses but the second scene throws this weak little plot point into the wind as it is simply a sex scene with no set up. We simply join Toni Ribas and Yurizan Beltran in bed. They share a nice scene though I found it quite a bit jarring since I was expecting a masseur to arrive to continue the sort of weak plot. The plot does, sort of continue after the sex scene when the lovebirds leave the bedroom to find Samantha Ryan is sitting on the couch. She is not happy to see her recent -ex having a great time with a new woman!

The movie flows to the next scene when James Deen arrives at Samantha's door and is greeted by a tirade about men and how they are pigs. He is there to massage our distressed damsel and she asks for a hand massage which is the first we see of any type of massage. Soon they are kissing and moving on to other things. Seems our Mr. Deen has no problem leaving professional ethics behind to be of 'service' to his clientele! The sex is pretty run-of-the-mill with some oral, some fingering and regular PIV sex leading to the cum shot.

In the next scene we watch Francesca La showing off her new swim suit to her not so impressed husband Dr. Mick Blue. He is concerned that it isn't really appropriate for a pool party but she insists she will wear it. Dr. has been neglecting his wife and she will do something about it! She tels the next patient that the Dr. will need to take a few minutes and then jumps her husband's bones for some kinky 'in the workplace' sex. Again the sex is pretty normal for a porn flick. When Francesca has cleaned up and left the Dr. asks for his next patient to be shown in. You might have guessed it would be none other than Kayden Kross!

Dr. Blue is concerned that Kayden isn't taking her medication and informs her that he will schedule a surprise home visit with a colleague or two. Which leads to the next scene in which Kayden is, apparently, a real estate agent who doesn't recognize her doctor. she is showing the doctor and his associate the house when James Deen arrives to give Kayden her scheduled massage. She is confused but the associate offers to pay for the massage so she leaves the room and, apparently, receives the massage.

Dr. Blue is there when our Ms. Kross awakens and she informs him that she wants sex, and despite professional ethics AND in perfect porn movie style he obliges!


I have to say that while there were some odd angles and weird focuses the camera work was fairly good and the sound quality was top notch. The plot was followed albeit weakly but the breach of professional ethics was a bit disturbing thought undeniably porn quality. The cover art is not safe for kids, for those viewers who have little ones. You will not be confusing this for a cartoon based on the cover art!
Experience
While I can't say I was totally happy with this movie it really wasn't terrible either. There are parts I will revisit later, which is the goal of any movie at least in my opinion. The sex is pretty straight forward porn movie style sex and sometimes that is exactly what I am looking for! Neither of the guys was particularly interested in the plot (as guys they are confused about porn movies with plots to be honest!) or in the sex but they each have their fetishes. I wasn't too surprised to find them a bit jaded and bored by this film.
Follow-up commentary
I am very undecided about this video. Some of the scenes are captivating and I actually like watching. It has an odd quality that keeps me interested or maybe I just can't believe the things these "people" do! The story line is strange bordering on topics that almost cross the line. I am still very conflicted about this movie!
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.
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My The Masseuse 3 tags
  • Who / How / What
    [ ? ]
    Who might this product be best for? How is it best used? What are the best circumstances or situations for using this product?
    • Bachelor/ bachelorette party
    • Foreplay
    • Solo
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Comments
  • Ivy Wilde
    Ivy Wilde  
    Thanks for the review. IS there such a thing as a good porn movie?
  • I'll Miss You EF :(
    I'll Miss You EF :(  
    Fantastic review!
  • Airen Wolf
    Airen Wolf  
    Well sure Ivy...just usualy not mass produced. Some of the smaller companies and those who cater to a certain kink mae excellent movies.
    This one isn't horrible just weirdly disjointed and titled incorrectly.
  • Kate
    Kate  
    awesome review!
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