Aneros SGX by Aneros

As any person of distinction and taste will tell you, there are orgasms and there are ORGASMS. Sure, it's like pizza in a way (good or bad, it's still pizza), but when one has experienced a massive, mind-boggling, body-rattling release, it tends to stick in the mind. It's also very rare. This may be why it's initially easy to be skeptical about the claims surrounding the Aneros, a "medically researched, designed and patented" prostate stimulator promising, according to the website, orgasms that are "stunning", "incredible" and "mind-blowing". Certainly, this sex toy looks odd enough, a weirdly amorphous nub with a little hooking segment at the base and a baroquely curlicued little handle. It's kind of cool looking and all, in a 19th century curative way, but is it any good?

Banish even the ghost of a doubt. Once used, the Aneros reveals itself as an absolutely brilliant masturbation aid, the kind of simple, portable gizmo that becomes a mainstay. Its contoured design makes it easy to insert, and the handle makes adjustment quite effortless. The gentle pressure the sex toy exerts on the prostate gland and the perineum pressure point may at first be disorienting for men unaccustomed to such pleasures; but once your contractions start in earnest, and finally become gaspingly independent of your own designs, the experience becomes truly otherworldly. Head-spinning, even. Clean-up might be a bitch; not the product, which needs only a soak in sudsy water, but its aftereffects. A lot of men have prostatic fluids stored up, and the Aneros acts as a sort of plumber, discharging the build-up with terrific force and unpredictable aim. Whatever. I nearly blacked out from joy after my first use. This adult toy is the real deal.

Oh, and by the way, straight boys, taking it in the ass doesn't make you gay. It makes you awesome. Truly, this is the gentleman's Rabbit.