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Gold in My Hills

Gold Laced G is a very middle of the road toy: if you don't know what you like, Gold might help you find it. At the same time, it's not going to deliver any one 'flavor' in droves, so it may not please those who know what they like. In my opinion, I found the texture slightly distracting and overall 'scratchy'. However, Gold does lend itself to anal due to the presence of a base and its smaller size -- but texture caveats still apply.
Published:
Pros:
Glass
Gentle curve for G-spots
Acceptable base for anal
Cons:
Texture (subjective)
Half-base is awkward to hold
Rating by reviewer:
3
extremely useful review

Use

Meet Mr. Slim! The Gold Laced G is a cross-hatched, texture-ful, slim glass dildo with a anal-friendly flared base. Gold has a slightly realistic head, with a subtly flared glans and tip that resembles a real penis.

Gold is best for:
1. Glass collectors
2. Lovers of smaller dildos
3. Texture fans
4. Cervix/length lovers

Like many glass dildos, Gold is meant for delightful penetration -- and it's suitable for anal or vaginal use.

Its safe, rigid, conductive material also lends itself to temperature play, safe sharing between partners (after sterilization), as well as tubs and showers. The texture and appearance of Gold make it a great addition to any collection based solely on its reflective surface and color scheme.

But it won't please if...
Gold is surprisingly small in girth, both in your hand and in use. This makes it great for those who enjoy the sensation of length, want a smaller anal dildo, or who enjoy cervix stimulation. Gold is slightly curved for G-spot stimulation, but that will have to largely come from thrusting, as Gold will not provide a stretching sensation. Those who dislike cervix stimulation from long dildos or hard materials may want to pass on Gold as well.

Glass toy comp
Vibe comp
  • Where
    [ ? ]
    Where / what types of places can this product be used?
    • Tub/shower/pool
  • Features
    [ ? ]
    What kind of features does this product offer?
    • Travel friendly
  • Body / part areas
    [ ? ]
    What areas on the body can this product be used / what areas does it stimulate best?
    • Anal
    • G-spot

Material / Texture

The Gold Laced G is 100% borosilicate glass. This type of material incorporates boron in order to create a blend of glass that's shatter-proof and temperature-resilient. It's also completely non-porous, decently weighty in the hand and sterilizable. Glass is, as I'm sure you know, totally rigid: exercise caution and your best judgment when thrusting with it, especially on a partner. Glass may cause bruising or other damage if used too zealously.

The Gold Laced G is somewhat realistic around the 'head' area, but I'd say only to your eyes or hand. Ridges representing the glans can be seen, and even a small groove right where you might expect the urethra of a penis. Sassy!

Tip
Semi realistic glans

Honestly, though, since the head isn't more wide than the shaft of the toy, you can't really feel it in use. I'm not a fan of realistic toys, so I didn't consider this a fault. Additionally, with all the lattice-pattern texture and shaft-like shape, this toy does scream 'penis!' -- anyone who finds it will get the idea pretty quickly.
    • Bumpy
    • Not porous at all
    • Rigid

Design / Shape / Size

Measurements

There are several reasons to get Gold, though I would say that they're all qualified. At best, you might consider them 'beginner friendly': if you find you like that aspect, you can definitely use it as a learning experience to narrow down the search for your next toy. On the flip side, you may find that you didn't really get an idea of what that aspect really did for you...or it didn't anything at all. The aspects I'll be considering: texture, size, curve and the rigidity of glass.

The Texture:
Actually, I hate this part of Gold.

Gold G latticed shaft
Gold G base in profile

The texture pattern is an all-over lattice, with barely raised ridges over the entirety of the shaft. Maybe it's because the ridges are so low, or maybe it's because it feels like there are so many angles to the texture that it feels scratchy. This texture is at best distracting, at worst...not something I want to associate with sexy times. It's just not enjoyable, even though I know that I like texture in general.

Mr. Slim:
If you prefer small insertables, Gold can definitely help you here. The shape of Gold is straight up and down in terms of width: just 1" in diameter, everywhere, from tip to bottom. This modest girth is very easy to insert, requires no warm up, and little lube (though I always recommend a generous amount of lube!) The smaller size also makes Gold non-threatening and slightly easier to store, hide and travel with than some of its beefier dildo friends. Personally, I'm in this camp: I like to get down to business without warm up and I highly dislike some of the discomfort and pain involved in a stretched sensation.

On the other hand, if you prefer a filling sensation, Gold is not for you.

Modest curves ahead:
Gold has a very modest upward curve to its shaft, no more than 15 - 20 degrees. Certainly, its small size allows it to be angled to increase the chance you can hit your G-spot, but if you need something dramatic like the Pure Wand or Lelo Ella, Gold is not for you.

Something odd I noticed: since the base is a hemi-circle, the majority of the grippable region of the base is on the opposite side of the way the Gold curves up. This means that you have to reach under yourself slightly when masturbating on your back to both grip the base and stimulate your G-spot. This is awkward and I don't appreciate the trade-off of 'able to hold this toy?' vs G-spot stimulation.

Gold G base
    • Slim
    • Textured

Performance

Honestly, I was pretty underwhelmed by Gold. There are so many glass toys around, in so many iterations, specifications, flavors of glass -- ah, it's a good time to be in the market for sex toys! Based on this idea, don't settle for wishy-washy toys unless you want something middle-of-the-road.

Now, what's awesome about Gold?

Rigidity, Length and Glass:
These are the things that blow me away about Gold.

The combination of a long length and the rigidity of glass make for a winning combination for lovers of thrusting and cervical orgasms like me. There is no better key to my cervical orgasm than freedom to hit both my cervix and G-spot and long length.

You'll also find that Gold can stand on its own due to the base. This is pretty nice for display and storage, if that's how you like to store your dildos. Since it's only a half-circle, however, it's not harness compatible (definitely not with a metal O-ring and probably not easily with a cloth harness, either.

Anal-ready:
But this base does make Gold anal-friendly. In fact, the smaller girth makes Gold definitely more anal friendly than some dildos. The small and scratchy texture of Gold may still be a turn off -- but actually, I found that I enjoyed the texture much more anally than vaginally. You'll have to find out for yourself.
    • Comfortable

Care and Maintenance

Gold Laced G, like all glass toys, is blessedly easy to clean.

You have your choice of cleaning methods:
1. Boil
2. Bleach
3. Wash with warm soap and water
4. Wipe
5. Dishwasher (top rack)

If you use Gold vaginally, I found that warm water and soap or wipes are plenty sufficient. Anal use requires a bit more care, and I would recommend a bleach solution or boiling followed by attentive washing afterwards just to be sure all the ridges are clean. The ridges are probably the hardest part of cleaning this toy: there sure a lot of them. Since they aren't too deep, though, it's not too much hassle.

Like all SSA glass toys, Gold comes with a small pouch and bubble wrap for storage. The pouch is red, with a velvet texture, but is unlined and un-padded. I kept the bubble wrap in order to solve this problem and haven't had any issues with my glass toys. I'll even put forth that I once dropped an SSA glass toy, in the pouch + bubble wrap, about 4 feet onto thin carpet and it was fine. So it does afford some protection, in case you're a stickler.

Gold G packaging
Follow-up commentary
Life is too short for mediocre glass toys. There is a huge and inexpensive selection of them out there and as such, you shouldn't settle for less than amazing.

Gold-laced G certainly is less than amazing. In fact, it's gone. The itchy sensation, the girthlessness, the wimpy base -- all of these things dragged Gold down and made it a mediocre toy. As such, I got rid of it. Save your money, don't waste your time on Gold.
This content is the opinion of the submitting contributor and is not endorsed by EdenFantasys.com
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Comments
  • Sharon A
    Sharon A  
    You have an excellent vocabulary and it was very nice to read in this review
  • joiedejouets
    joiedejouets  
    Great job! Thanks
  • r00ster
    r00ster  
    Thanks for the review
  • XxFallenAngelxX
    XxFallenAngelxX  
    Thanks for the EU review!
  • mpfm
    mpfm  
    Great review. Thanks.
  • Allstars316
    Allstars316  
    Thanks for the review!
  • chicmichiw
    chicmichiw  
    You are all so sweet. Thanks for reading my review!
  • Cinnyree
    Cinnyree  
    thanks for the review! The title was cute and got my attention
  • MrsandMrbunnysoffun
    MrsandMrbunnysoffun  
    Very detailed review. Great job
  • ththpup
    ththpup  
    Awesome pictures!
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