Is It Supposed to Burn?

The Vivid Essentials Vibrating Probe is a large toy at an affordable price. If you're looking for an anal toy with a lot of girth than this will not disappoint. However, with the low cost comes some unfortunate let downs.
Published:
Pros
Affordable.
Cons
Too squishy to insert, not very powerful, left an odd burning sensation on my hands.
Rating by reviewer:
2
useful review
I don't own a lot of anal toys- it's not that they don't appeal to me, it's just that my ass isn't the focal point of my pleasure. The Vivid Essentials Vibrating Anal Screw helped to break up the monotony between vaginal vibrators and dildos.

When this probe arrived, I think my asshole shriveled a little at the sight of it. This isn't necessarily something I'd seek out on my own, the 8" insertable length and 6" circumference is frankly quite scary seeing as I mainly stick to slim and short butt plugs. Regardless of the butterflies in my stomach, I tried and conquered, well, semi-sort-of conquered.

Insertion was incredibly difficult. The flat tip of the probe is flexible and spongy and unfortunately, the first 4 inches of the toy are just as equally squashy. There isn't a spine to help guide it into your anus, instead, you're stuck pushing and trying to squish it in. I laid in bed for a few minutes fidgeting around trying to get just the tip in but I couldn't do it by myself, the material was just too mushy. I called in the reserves (ie. husband) and even he had trouble.

After 15 minutes of struggling and an insane amount of water-based lubricant (silicone lubricant is safe as well), he finally got in. Hurray! It was fairly comfortable due to the pliable nature of the jelly, the material really had a lot of give and the wide circumference led to a pleasant full sensation. The shaft is designed in a soft serve ice cream cone style with twisted ridges swirling down the shaft. They feel subtle when initially inserting the toy, but as you gradually get to the wider part of the shaft, they're easier to feel as they become larger and more pronounced.

Unfortunately, trying to manipulate the toy is difficult because of it's flexibility. The first four inches are absolute mush but once past those initial inches there's a hard vibrator that goes down to the base of the toy. The toy is heavy so if you don't have it inserted the full 8", it will pull downward and try to slip out. I couldn't thrust it but I had my partner there to help and to be honest, I don't want to have to call him into the bedroom every time I want to use this. Not being able to work it on my own detracts from its ability to be a good sex toy.

This is in fact, a vibrator- Good news, the vibrations are quiet. Bad news, they're not that powerful. Doc Johnson totes this as waterproof; water will not get inside of the battery compartment but it will get down in between the jelly sleeve and the hard plastic vibrator. After cleaning your toy with antibacterial cleaner and water make sure to leave it out to air dry else the water will be trapped between the sleeve and the vibrator for who knows how long. (It requires 2 AAA batteries.)

As this is jelly, condoms are important. Jelly is a highly porous material that will absorb bacteria and attract lint and debris, it also contains phthalates which have been shown to cause cancer in lab studies on rats. Condoms will not only keep you and the toy clean and safe, but they will prolong the life of it by preventing bacteria from causing a faster breakdown of the material.

Customers have noted a burning sensation, I covered the toy with a condom when using anally so I can't deliver any evidence of rectal discomfort, but when I was handling it I did notice some pain in the palm of my hands (like when you touch chilies). The jelly also has a very potent smell, I actually didn't mind it because I'm one of those strange people that enjoy going to the gas station because I like the smell of the gas. The smell of the toy however, can be overwhelming to those with really sensitive noses.

Overall, the Vivid Essentials Vibrating Anal Probe was too squishy to insert by myself, it wasn't powerful enough, and the jelly had a strong smell and left an odd burning sensation on my palms.
Follow-up commentary
This still smells. However, not as strong as it did the first time I opened the package. As its had time to air dry and I've washed it a few times, but while it smells a little better, it hasn't been used. The burning that occurred the first time I used it, has left me with little desire to use it again. This is a product that better belongs on a shelf than in a toy box.
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.

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Comments
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  • Contributor: Victoria
    Yikes! This toy does not sound like it was a good fit! I give you kudos for persistence though. All things considered, I think you went above and beyond. Thanks!
  • Contributor: Sammi
    Wow - I would have looked at the size of this and freaked! The burning sensation does not sound good at all, nor the smell.
    Great review!
  • Contributor: Viv
    the top really does look "mushy" thanks for the review! Smile
  • Contributor: Carrie Ann
    Burning palms...
    Ew.

    Not good. It looks so interesting, though. It's a shame it didn't live up to appearances.
  • Contributor: Nashville
    Victoria, thanks for the compliments.. and yea, persistence.. unfortunately, I have it and a lot of times I wish I didn't.
  • Contributor: Nashville
    Sammi, thanks, as far as the smell goes- I actually liked it, I'm odd like that.
  • Contributor: Nashville
    Sarou, it does doesn't it?! Thank you for reading. Winking
  • Contributor: Nashville
    Carrie, I really thought it had potential. It was assigned and I said, "Hot dog! This could be something different. I haven't tried jelly in a while, let's liven things up".. unfortunately, all it did was piss me off and make me want to wash my hands a million times.
  • Contributor: ~LaUr3n~
    Great review! I have experienced a burning sensation internally after having a similar toy made by the same people for a few months...not fun lol.
  • Contributor: Liz2
    Thanks for the info. Pain on the palm of your hands ? Hate for this stuff to touch anything else.
  • Contributor: Nashville
    Thanks Lauren, as far as the burning- throw it out! Even with condoms, I wouldn't risk it. I'm sure you have by now though. Smile
  • Contributor: Nashville
    Liz, yea, as far as storage goes- it should be stored separately, I wouldn't want this touching any other toys. Not pleasant at all.
  • Contributor: Anica
    I just keep hearing little Ralphie from the Simpsons "smells like burning!"

    Either way, sure doesn't sound like fun! Thanks for your persistance and the review though. Smile
  • Contributor: Nashville
    lol, I can recall that quote in my head. Is that bad? lol.
  • Contributor: w-o-name
    good review
  • Contributor: damnbul12
    Thank you for the review.
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