Deluxe douche - anal kit by Cal Exotics - review by Spilock

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It's a real douchebag, and not in a good way.

If you're looking for a douche to engage in anal play, please look further. I had high hopes for the possibilities this douche would open up, but instead all it did was disappoint me as I utilized asinine yoga positions in an attempt to successfully use it.
Published:
Pros:
It's a douche.
Cons:
Too large, floppy, and messy, high maintenance.
Rating by reviewer:
1
extremely useful review

Use

The Deluxe Douche is intended to be used for douching purposes, primarily anal. The user is intended to fill the pouch with water (lukewarm, not hot or cold), lube up the orifice of choice, and let 'er rip. Or rather, don't let 'er rip, as that would be bad! Regardless, it should only be used in a bathroom, as it would be a shame to stain nice bedsheets with the inevitable dripping that occurs during the douching process. All of the toy's major parts are relatively free from safety precautions, other than cleaning it as thoroughly as you possibly can. Many people have handled their douching in the bathtub, though I've opted to use this toy over a toilet. I don't particularly want to explain to my college's maintenance why my shower got stopped up by clumps of fecal matter, so I had to pass on that option.

As for general douche usage tips, there are a couple of things to keep in mind. First, don't use hot or cold water, try to find a lukewarm middle ground between them. Also, be careful with how you guide the nozzle in, and do so slowly. It's very important that you don't damage your insides!
  • Who / How / What
    [ ? ]
    Who might this product be best for? How is it best used? What are the best circumstances or situations for using this product?
    • Everyone
    • Hygiene
    • Solo
  • Where
    [ ? ]
    Where / what types of places can this product be used?
    • Bathroom
  • Body / part areas
    [ ? ]
    What areas on the body can this product be used / what areas does it stimulate best?
    • Anal
    • Vaginal

Material / Texture

The material in the Deluxe Douche definitely leaves a lot to be desired. As usual, there's a typical rubber latex smell, but that was expected. Thankfully, it wasn't nearly as pungent as the other rubber toys I've owned in the past. Where the material actually fails is in its strength. This thing is massive, kind of like a football but not as wide, and is extremely floppy. Whenever you mix those two aspects together, nothing good is bound to happen, and I'll explain more on that in the next few paragraphs. The tips are both a very hard plastic material, and are neither bad nor good. They simply attempt to get the job done, and seem to be a decent enough size as to not be too dangerous.

Finally, the latex itself seems to be a mediocre grade of it. If you have allergies to latex, you should avoid this at all costs. Nina Hartley has a very informational video here on EdenTube.
    • Floppy
    • Light odor
    • Porous

Design / Shape / Size

Though it looked like an excellent idea from the pictures, I've discovered there's clearly a reason why no one's been reviewing this thing. This design is absolutely horrible.

I'm assuming that due to the massive size and the floppy bag, they intended for this to be somewhere between the functions of being a douche and being an enema. As is often the case when something tries to straddle two different things that work, this does not. At all. The plastic nozzles are uncomfortable due to their length and hardness, though the rounded nozzle does work much better. The bag itself is the primary cause of design issues, however. It's so massive and floppy that any water in it will likely want to go anywhere but your butt, and you absolutely have to keep a hold on the plastic tips while they're inside you. If you don't, gravity and the general floppiness of the bag will pull on the tip, causing it to uncomfortably put pressure in places you don't need it. Finally, the nozzle and the hole it screws into are tiny, so you'll be getting a mediocre water pressure, at best.

Performance

The good part about this douche is that it does indeed do its job. If you fight with it long enough, it will eventually succeed in putting lots of water in places you would have difficulty getting it without the douche.

Now that that's out of the way, it's time for the bad. The Deluxe Douche is not content with merely giving you a working product, no they've got to find ways to make you curse it as you engage in a battle of wits with a piece of plastic and rubber! The sheer size of the douche, and the floppy rubber means that it sags down at all times collecting as much extra air as it possibly can while doing so. That extra air definitely leads to a major turn off, if your partner is in a nearby room as you make far too many nasty noises. Once you finally realize that gravity is the only means to force it to cooperate, you'll see just how difficult it is to find a position where gravity lends a hand without causing water to run out and over your hands.

This sucker gets messy!

Care and Maintenance

This douche is extremely difficult to clean. For starters, it's rubber which has already dashed your chances of getting it squeaky clean. The cap can be popped out allowing you to wash out the insides, but this is still a large rubber bag with a relatively small opening. No matter how hard I tried, it simply did not want to cooperate with me as I attempted to flush it out. It becomes even worse when you realize that this douche has an annoying tendency of sucking in air at any possible chance, leading to mental nightmares as you see fecal matter flow out of it during cleaning. Which was disgusting for me, by the way.

Storage is somewhat tricky as well. Because this is a large floppy bag, you'll find a lot of difficult in trying to find a position that will allow it drain while drying. With that in mind, it's probably going to build up mildew or lime quite easily over time. I had simply stored mine under the bathroom cabinet, tucked away in an unseen corner. The packaging is a cardboard box, which is in no way suitable for storage either.
    • Difficult to store
    • Hard to clean
    • High maintenance

Packaging

The packaging is very much so not discreet, proclaiming boldly that this is an anal douche. It has a few mandatory warnings, such as those for latex allergens and how this is not meant to be used for medical purposes. It's extremely minimal, consisting of a small paper box with the goods contained within a plastic bag inside. I disposed of it after opening, since it provided no extra use.

No instructions are included, which I think is a major negative for a product like this. Douching, anal in particular, has a couple of areas that can go wrong pretty badly if you don't know what you're doing. The Deluxe Douche makes no attempt whatsoever to inform you about temperature extremes, guiding the tip in, or any other number of aspects it should. The only instruction they give you is to use a rubber compatible lube. Frankly, that's neglectful and dangerous for users who don't know what they're doing yet.
    • Minimal
    • Not discreet

Personal comments

I had high hopes for this douche, but was ultimately let down. I've attempted to use this several times now, each time with mixed results. The huge mess created by the incessant dripping is a massive turn off. The air pockets leading to gaseous noise as you let loose afterward were a major turn off. Finally, the douche's uncanny knack for reabsorbing water while still in my butt, leading to a douche full of nastiness, was a major turn off. I was expecting a functional cleaning device, but instead got one that barely functions, but is really more of a health hazard than a cleaning device.

Considering my initial optimism for it, it saddens to me tell you to avoid this at all costs. But I will. And I am.
Follow-up commentary
Yeah, we pretty much chunked this horrible thing after about a week. A dental syringe worked better, so I would have to assume that any other sort of douche would work a hundred times better.
This product was provided at a discounted price in exchange for an unbiased review. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.
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Comments
  • iabicpl09
    iabicpl09  
    Thank you
  • SUBMISSIVE
    SUBMISSIVE  
    Thank you for the great review!
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