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Not a great first toy experience

If you are anything more than an absolute beginner looking for a cheap toy, then look elsewhere. True it's cheap, but it's also cheaply made and misses its goal.
Published:
Pros:
Great for beginners, two toys at once
Cons:
Seam is hard to clean, misses prostate, loud, cords tangle easily, looks and feels very cheap
Rating by reviewer:
2
extremely useful review

Use

First, I should say that I was really excited to get this toy because it was my first anal toy that was actually meant for it. Until now I'd just improvised with common household things that could easily be assembled into a fun device and deconstructed just as easily. Unfortunately, this didn't really wow me at all. I like that it's cheap but unfortunately that transferred directly into it being cheaply made.

In theory this is the perfect toy for both sexes: there's an egg vibe which could be used vaginally or on the clitoris, nipples, or just as a massager and an anal-t for anal play. I'm a male so obviously I can't speak too much of the egg except that it was a nice massager to use on small areas of my back. The anal-t, however, just failed on most every goal. I couldn't keep it from slipping out without holding it by hand or sitting on it, it wasn't getting my prostate unless I held and angled it in a certain way, and it only felt like having a rigid finger in my bum.
  • Who / How / What
    [ ? ]
    Who might this product be best for? How is it best used? What are the best circumstances or situations for using this product?
    • Couples
    • Group situations
    • Solo
  • Where
    [ ? ]
    Where / what types of places can this product be used?
    • Anywhere dry
    • On a bed only
  • Body / part areas
    [ ? ]
    What areas on the body can this product be used / what areas does it stimulate best?
    • Anal
    • G-spot
    • P-spot

Material / Texture

The toy is made of an extremely hard plastic with no give at all so don't expect any great feelings of realism. The plastic is completely smooth and non-porous although there is a pseudo-deep seam running up the length of the 't' but since it recesses, you won't feel it at all (but cleaning it is a hassle). There is a slight bulge near the base of the anal-t but it's so slight that I didn't even notice it when it was lubed up. You can use any lube you wish on this toy since it's non-porous and silicone won't mess with it. Contrary to other comments, I found this toy to have no smell whatsoever.
    • No odor
    • Not porous at all
    • Rigid

Design / Shape / Size

Don't look for discreetness here. It's as obvious a sex toy as can be found and the "California Exotic Novelties" stamped on the front of the controller doesn't help much.

It's hard to find fault with the egg bullet since it just seems perfect.

The anal-t on the other hand could use definite improvement. The main problem is that it's just too thin. It is just big enough to be felt and provide a little stimulation; but it is too thin for your sphincter to really grip and hold in (a larger bulb at the base would help this greatly). It's also too thin for a condom to fit on snugly so sharing is out of the question. Because of the difficulty holding it in, you are forced to hold it with your hand the entire time, which you may end up doing anyway in order to target the prostate, since it fails to put adequate pressure on the prostate by itself (which is a serious fault).

DO NOT USE IN WATER. The cords and seams of the device will lead water right into the motor and control pack leading in shorts. I stress this point so much because on the control pack where the sliders are, you could put a straw straight through to the other side and even play with the electronics inside if you so chose to.

I measure the width of the anal-t at 1" in diameter and the egg at 1 5/16" in diameter at the widest points. While probably desirable for people who are brand new to anal play, it just wasn't enough to me as the anal-t was just the same width as my fingers. The egg is 2" long and the anal-t has 3" insertable (also the same as my finger).
    • Beginner
    • Partner play

Functions / Performance / Controls

The control pad is extremely easy to uses with just two sliders on the face to control speeds of the bullet and anal-t. The great thing about it is that you can control each vibe separately during play with three speeds for each for a grand total of 27 possible combinations between the two. The vibrations are quite strong and steady but loud. On the highest setting of just one, the noise is easily audible through a door; so don't expect to be able to use it in a full house sneakily. A pulse mode for each would have a been a nice feature to include.
    • Easy to use
    • Multiple settings
    • Not very discreet

Care and Maintenance

While the toy is a very hard, non-porous plastic which is itself easy to clean, there is a seam that runs up the length of the anal-t and around the width of the egg which fecal matter and lube easily stick into and is a pain to clean. One of the redeeming points of this toy is that you can just use warm water and soap to wash it; no special toy cleaners necessary. It also doesn't attract things like lint or other particulates so there's no need for a special storage container. Take extreme care when washing though, because it is very easy for water to go along the cords and into the motor and control pack which would obviously short it out.
    • Easy to store
    • Hard to clean

Packaging

It's a good thing that Eden ships in brown boxes, because the packaging for the device itself it as far from discreet as possible. It comes in a thin, clear plastic shell (similar to what batteries come in) with the device showing and a seductive woman on the background. The one thing I do like about the packaging is that it comes with care and use instructions in English, French, Dutch, German, Italian, and Spanish. While you could put the toy back in the container for storage since it snaps back shut, I'm not sure you would want to because, again, it's not discreet at all, just uses more room than necessary, and the toy doesn't collect lint or other particulates anyway. I just toss it in a drawer under some things in a zip lock bag.
    • Minimal
    • Not discreet
    • Very informative
Follow-up commentary
Four months later and the verdict is......I still hate it. I used it only a few more times before breaking it apart to use the motor in an art project. Not much more to say than that.
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.
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Comments
  • Tbanda
    Tbanda  
    Good review!
  • Vishous*girl
    Vishous*girl  
    Thanks for the good review.
  • poetprincess
    poetprincess  
    Great review...
  • sexyjenn
    sexyjenn  
    thanks
  • tortilla
    tortilla  
    thanks
  • This Is For The Birds
    This Is For The Birds  
    Good review, thanks
  • richsam
    richsam  
    Thanks for the review
  • Marie Hanna
    Marie Hanna  
    Thanks for the review.
  • never shy
    never shy  
    Thanks
  • Dawnwill
    Dawnwill  
    Good review
  • Hentialover
    Hentialover  
    Thanks for the honest review. I am brand new to anal, so this might work for me, but I'm not to impressed with the quality. Too bad. Thanks for reviewing.
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