So Close... Yet Soooooooo Far Away

A potentially good attempt at a prostate massager, COMPLETELY RUINED by a poor, unsafe, and DANGEROUS design. I cannot recommend this toy for anyone, out of concern for safety.
Published:
Pros:
Amazing quality silicone, hits the prostate very well.
Cons:
COMPLETELY Unsafe. This toy WILL get pulled up into your body.
Rating by reviewer:
1
extremely useful review
I can't recall ever using another toy that I've simultaneously loved and hated, like I do the Evolved Talon Prostate Massager. This toy really had some potential that was essentially wasted, on a poor design. Before I get ahead of myself though, let me start at the beginning.

As soon as I arrived home to my latest Eden Fantasys package, I rushed upstairs eager to examine our newest toy; the "Talon Prostate Massager" by Evolved Novelties. The Talon comes packaged in a thick acrylic-plastic case, with a removable and reclosable base. As soon as I set my eyes on this little gem, I thought.. "This is it?!?!" This thing is TINY! The insertable portion of this prostate massager is only about 3 inches long, and maybe an inch in diameter. The external portion (assumably intended for perineum stimulation) is about an inch long, and about a half inch in diameter.

Now, I must interject here because as an anal enthusiast, or more of a prostate connoisseur if you will, I have tried TONS of toys aimed to please my p-spot, from Aneros massagers, to butt plugs, to glass wands, to njoy steel plugs and wands, to dildos, with everything from pegging, to plugging, to milking, OH MY! Essentially, I know my body, and I'm generally pretty good at knowing what will work for me, and what will not. Seeing the minute size of the Talon, I was a little disappointed, because I thought there was no way that this toy was going to work for me.

That being said, I knew I had to press on... even if only for the sake of this review. So, I opened the plastic case, and removed the Talon. "Holy Cow!" If Evolved Novelties got one thing right with this toy, it was the silicone. The silicone used to make the Talon is amazingly soft, and buttery smooth; almost identical to LELO silicone (for those of you "toy collectors" who want a comparison). I really was not expecting silicone of this quality, for this toy.

I went and thoroughly washed the Talon (as is recommended for ALL new toys) and prepared for the moment of truth. Well Talon, "Bottoms Up!" As suspected with such a small toy, insertion was very easy. What was very UNSUSPECTED, was the almost immediate pressure and stimulation I felt on my prostate. I really was shocked! I've tried a couple Aneros brand massagers in the past, without any luck, and I've always chalked it up to the size as being the problem, as larger toys tend to easily hit the spot for me. Well, maybe it's not the size after all, because although the Talon is small, it knows where to push. With muscle contractions, I could easily make the massaging end of the Talon slide in deeper for increased or decreased pressure. For the first time, I finally got a glimpse of what all the "Aneros" fans were hinting it. Unfortunately, it wasn't long-lived.

One of the MAJOR downfalls of this toy, is the external tab. This tab is small and thin, and connected to the insertable body portion by equally thin, and highly-flexible silicone. The first problem with this, is that as soon as you start to squeeze to draw the toy in and apply pressure to the prostate, it immediately tries to rotate itself around 180 degrees, facing the wrong way from your prostate. I ended up having to hold onto the tab the entire time I used it (which was about 10 minutes). But the BIGGEST problem, is that although the external tab is situated at about a 90 degree angle to the insertable portion, it is so flexible that as soon as you let go of that tab (or it slips from your fingers as the lube inevitably finds its way all over it) it EASILY straightens out enough to suck the ENTIRE TOY INTO YOUR BODY. Obviously a HUGE no-no... ESPECIALLY in a toy "DESIGNED" for anal play. To me, this is simply unacceptable, and inexcusable.

Thankfully, the toy is small, and I am experienced in anal play, so retrieval was not a problem. Others may not be so lucky, and that could make for a VERY embarrassing emergency room visit.

After removing the Talon, I cleaned it with soap and water, and put it back in it's case, to never be used again.
Experience
Honestly, I think the most disappointing part about the Talon, is that if Evolved Novelties had designed a better external base on the toy, it would be great. I mean, this could've been a 4 or maybe 5 star toy. But instead, they slapped a DANGEROUS and ill-designed tab on it, and decided to sell it like that! I just don't understand it.

I simply cannot in good conscience recommend this toy for ANYONE, as I can't see ANY possible way to use it safely.
Follow-up commentary
For fear of a shameful and publicized emergency silicone rectal extraction, I have refrained from using this toy again following my initial experience. Due to the inherent danger I perceived while using this toy, I will not be using it in the future either.
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.
Become a Reviewer. Get free toys. Enjoy Special Deals
Do you like this review?
Comments
  • RomanticGoth
    RomanticGoth  
    Thank you so much for the info on this! *claps*
  • sugar&spikes
    sugar&spikes  
    thanks for the review
  • dollsteak
    dollsteak  
    Great review!
  • Anne
    Anne  
    great review
  • Petite Cannibal
    Petite Cannibal  
    Thanks for the review.
Forum
Discussion Posts Last Update
Bwah? 30
Talon Prostate 1
Thank you for viewing Talon prostate massager – sex toy review page!