Thunder balls - anal balls by Doc Johnson - review by ToyGeek

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Unsuccessful Experiment

I hated this significantly flawed toy and threw it away after a single use. I don't recommend it to anyone, although my review does have suggestions for working around the flaws, should you find yourself in possession of it.
Published:
Pros:
I've got nothing.
Cons:
Noise. Cheap manufacturing. Sharp edges that require sanding. Poor design.
Rating by reviewer:
1
useful review

Use

These are allegedly meant to be inserted anally but I found them unsuited to the task for several reasons and really not good for much at all. I suppose if one is really into anal play, and significantly motivated to make these work, some of the more glaring problems can be adjusted or worked around by the user.

Material / Texture

These are made of cheap plastic that's neither shiny-smooth nor velvety. They didn't smell particularly bad after washing, and the mild odor I thought I detected might have been the packaging. The plastic cord serves as both the retrieval cord and the power cord, which means this product will not last beyond a few uses. Not that it matters, because you probably won't want to use them twice anyway.

Design / Shape / Size

The size was too big, at least for me. I expected beads. These are balls. Please do look at specifications before buying them, and take advantage of the view actual size function on edenfantasys.com. I did not, and I regretted it.

As far as the design, the fact that the power cord is meant to be used in retrieving these from inside tight muscles spells trouble. You should never pull on any power cord, to anything, for any reason, whether it's a sex toy or a household appliance. It weakens and eventually breaks or shorts out the cord. So fail on that point.

The next problem is the balls themselves, which have an uneven seam. Sure, it can be filed down with a nail file, thus solving the problem, but that's a bit high maintenance for my tastes.

Performance

Already extremely uncomfortable with the notion of anal play, it took me weeks to work up the courage to try these. That gave me plenty of time to sand down the uneven seams, thus protecting my body from sharp edges, and it also gave me time to decide that I wouldn't mind throwing these out, and so would not find a way to protect the ill-conceived power cord from breakage. A condom or toy cover might help, if you're really keen to use these, but in my opinion they aren't worth that effort.

The vibrations were reasonably strong, but definitely on the buzzy side, and more importantly -- to me anyway -- they're extremely loud. They can definitely be heard through a closed door. Left unattended on my bed while I performed the sound test, I could hear them one flight of stairs up, and three rooms away. Very not cool. That the same company makes the much more powerful but virtually silent Lucid Dream made me wonder if they were trying to make a bad toy.

As for actual use, I found them unpleasant, itchy, and reminiscent of constipation. I definitely do not recommend these. I'm aware of my bias against anal play, but even if they did something I liked, I'd pass on these for the noise and lack of quality.

Care and Maintenance

These can't be sterilized, but can be used with any kind of lube. I threw them out after their maiden voyage, so I can't comment on ease of cleaning except to express my doubts, given the cord. Just the labor to sand down the seams enough to try them makes them more work than they're worth.

Packaging

Between the arrival of this item, and my working up the courage to try it, I completely forgot any details regarding the packaging, but since they came from Doc Johnson and I don't recall the packaging, I'm guessing it was one of those plastic boxes the company usually uses, and those go into the recycling bin without too much fuss, because they fold up and can be slid into another plastic container.
Follow-up commentary
This toy is crap, and I threw away the balls long ago, but I kept the controller bit, took it apart, and used it for a devious -- but non-adult -- purpose. So there's that, anyway.
This content is the opinion of the submitting contributor and is not endorsed by EdenFantasys.com
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Comments
  • her.royal.redness
    Yikes! Thanks for the review tho!
  • ToyGeek
    Yeah, they are impressively useless, sadly enough. But since I've purchased over twenty toys in just a few months, I was bound to get something I didn't like, and overall I'm well ahead of the game.
  • LicentiouslyYours
    Seriously, thanks for the honest review. I am pretty sure you shouldn't have to file down a toy before it's ready to use.
  • Pumpkin Lady
    That's pretty awful. I'm with LicentiouslyYours- filing down a toy=bad!
  • Femme Mystique
    These sound super dangerous!
  • Viktor Vysheslav Malkin
    Great review! Big smile
  • NuMe
    Very nice review!
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