Fifty Shades of Grey Twitchy palm - paddle by LoveHoney - review by talon4196

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Decent Paddle Even if it's Grey

This paddle is marked up twice: once for being a sex toy, and a second time for being based on a book. There are better paddles for less. Invest in something better.
Published:
Pros:
Good for fans.
Cons:
Could have better construction, high markup.
Rating by reviewer:
3
extremely useful review

Use

This paddle comes from the book 50 Shades of Grey. It is used for spanking. It's different from a crop or whip. Crops have a smaller point of impact. Whips are larger and have multiple points of contact. This paddle has a wider point of contact for a blunt hit. You can use both sides of the paddle, and they give different output.

It is not as sturdy as it could be. It works for my purposes. It might not be enough for others; it would be easy to break if you're too into it. The paddle is a change up from using my hand. It gives my hand a break and lets me do something different. It's easy to take care of compared to other whips and crops we own.
  • Who / How / What
    [ ? ]
    Who might this product be best for? How is it best used? What are the best circumstances or situations for using this product?
    • Couples
    • Foreplay
    • Spanking
  • Where
    [ ? ]
    Where / what types of places can this product be used?
    • Play party
  • Features
    [ ? ]
    What kind of features does this product offer?
    • Travel friendly
  • Body / part areas
    [ ? ]
    What areas on the body can this product be used / what areas does it stimulate best?
    • Buttocks
    • Thighs

Design / Craftsmanship / Size / Material / Features

From a design perspective the paddle is basic. There is room for improvement. The portion that impacts the skin is the sturdiest. It is heavier and firmer. The weak point of this paddle is the neck. The neck can experience wrinkling. The wrinkling is a response to two principles. It is responding to torque. If you hold it more at the end, the neck with suffer more damage. The other is the asymmetry of materials. One side is grey fabric. The other is pleather. There is more material on the grey side. When impact occurs, the fabric wrinkles at the neck. If you are careless, you can wrinkle the pleather. Then the paddle will be permanently damaged.



This could last a long time if you are careful. Otherwise it will buckle and break at the neck. This could have been solved in a couple of ways. The neck could have been shorter, giving less torque. The material at the neck could have been made stiffer. Even when you consider the markup on sex toys, this paddle is marked up too much for what you get.
    • Lightweight
    • Mixed material

Performance

This works as a nice change up from using my hand. It is easy to use. I grab mine almost on the neck. You get less range, but the paddle will last longer. You can use either side to make contact on skin. The pleather makes a satisfying smack. The fabric makes less impact for those new to paddles.

When correcting for the flaw at the neck, the paddle works fine. It is not inconvenient to hold it higher up. It might be for people who want more arc when they swing. More strength is required for each swing when you hold it higher at the neck. It is still less force than using your hand. Your hand also does not get sore from spanking. I did not expect much from a product based on such books, so it met my low expectations.
    • Good for teasing

Care and Maintenance

Nothing should really get on this to clean it. It's pleather; you can use light cleaners. You can wipe it down to keep it shiny. It can go about anywhere. It can hang on a hook. It has a handle and a pouch.
    • Easy to clean
    • Easy to store

Personal comments

That book series is squeezing out so much money. I think it's a crap series and the marked up merchandise doesn't help it. My girlfriend started reading the books. She will randomly laugh when reading it saying, "I can't believe how horrible this is." My girlfriend is a book fiend. Even if she doesn't like a book, she wants to respect it. That's her thing. You and I might just call it crap, but she tries to find a purpose for it. She is struggling. If she is struggling, I can safely call the series crap. Not even mentioning the wannabe BDSM-goers.



It is too obnoxious for what you get. I can't believe it is selling so well. I can't believe people are eating this stuff up. I'm losing hope for humanity.

Experience

We got this paddle as part of a set. We use this the most. Now I know what would make a better paddle. I'd like to use a paddle without worry. I don't want to think about not breaking something. You lose some of the fun of it when you have to think "Don't break it, don't break it."

I have used this paddle to get back at noisy house mates. They can be loud having sex. When they get too loud, I start smacking my girlfriend's ass with this paddle. It makes a loud sound. We will also make loud and fake porn noises. Everyone starts laughing after, and then our housemates settle down some.

It has some merit, but I think it is too expensive.
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This review was edited by
  • Llewey Llewey
  • Rank:
     
    5.4
  • Edited reviews: 75
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Comments
  • Lildrummrgurl7
    Lildrummrgurl7  
    Thanks for the review!
  • VeganChick (is Gone)
    VeganChick (is Gone)  
    Thanks, I enjoyed the review. Sounds like it isn't for us.
  • TdotY
    TdotY  
    great review!
  • Zombirella
    Zombirella  
    I still kind of want it. We don't have anything like that and intentions wouldn't be to inflict pain, just to tease, or whatever. I still may get it if it goes on sale. Thanks for sharing.
  • pokefan15
    pokefan15  
    great review thanks for sharing
  • joolie
    joolie  
    I applaud your maturity and professionalism in the review. I would have blurted out that it's garbage, I hate it! But you kept it polite.
  • karenm
    karenm  
    Great review, thanks!
  • Marie Hanna
    Marie Hanna  
    thanks for all the photos.
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