Micro heated vib. nipple clamps by Cal Exotics - review by Shanna Germain

Best uses for this toy (in no particular order):

--Clip them around your receipts to stay organized (in a vibratory, heated kind of way).
--Use them to hold small, clean, wet towels. They will shake like there is wind and your laundry will dry fast.
--Try to put them on the puppy's nose. (*Author not liable for any ensuing damage to nose or to owner who actually attempts to follow said advice).
--Use them to heat your cocoa and make it wave in pretty little water vibrations.
--Clamp them on your nipples, turn up the juice and let the jiggling little suckers do their job.

Okay, obviously, I'm attempting to be funny here, and probably failing miserably. But, in truth, it's only because I'm miserable myself. After wanting these forever -- what a great idea! vibrations! heat! clamps! -- I was sadly disappointed with the results. So, you could use these clamps for any of the above, and they would all be about the same amount of fun.

The clamps are metal, with little rubber pads on the inside, while the box that holds the batteries is a fairly flimsy plastic. It doesn't weigh hardly anything, and it's pretty small, which would make it good for travel, as long as you took care to wrap the cords ahead of time, so they didn't get crimped or broken.

The clamps have a lot of variety -- from needle-skinny all the way up to big enough for a pinky finger. They're not hard to adjust, although you have to be careful not to unscrew the pins TOO much, or the pins will fall right out. And then they are hard to get back into the little hole.

I have fairly big nipples, however, and I have to say that these clamps refused to stay on me, no matter how big or small we tried them, or whatever angle we came at them from, they fell off as soon as we revved up the vibrations. I think it's a matter of how the clamps are built -- the hinge is pretty close to the end of the clamp; if the clamps were longer, I think they could get a better grip and they wouldn't fall off so easily.

It might also help if the rubber pads inside the clamps were either more textured (they have little nubs, but they're small) or if the pads were curved somehow. It seems that the straightness of the clamps doesn't seem to be able to hold onto my nipples (unless it was really, really tight, which is just too much "ow!" for me and not enough pleasure).

The controller is a simple battery box, that holds two double A batteries. On the size, there's a knob that scrolls Off to On and then increases the vibrations along the way.

As with most toys, whether this toy will bring you joy is entirely a matter of preference and fit, but here's my experience:

1. As I mentioned earlier, I had a hard time getting them to stay on at all. It took a lot of tweaking, a lot of "oops, there is goes again," and a lot of re-clamping in order to spend enough time with them to write the review. If I hadn't been writing the review, I would have thrown them in frustration and reached for my old standby instead.

2. The vibrations are fairly strong and fairly fast. In fact, they were so fast that they were almost hard to feel. Oxymoronic, I know. But I realized as I was wearing them that I prefer a pulse that is more rhythmic -- hard to soft, fast to slow -- something where my nipples get a break seems to be better in terms of arousal for me than the steady constant.

3. The heating bit is hardly hot at all. Not even warm, actually. In fact, the metal can be cold and the rubber pads on the inside are fairly thin, so it almost would take extra heat to make this even slightly warm.