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More like "Cordless painful slip-ple clamps"...

These vibrating nipple clamps were a real disappointment. The promise an awful lot, but deliver very little satisfaction. They're clumsy, heavy and ineffective. They're loud, too strong, and fall right off of smaller nipples. Overall, not worth using.
Published:
Pros:
None
Cons:
Too loud, too much vibration, won't stay put
Rating by reviewer:
1
extremely useful review

Use

Oh, where do I start with this little gem?

These cordless vibrating nipple clamps by Pipedream are kind of a mess from start to finish. It's great that they're cordless, but that's probably the only upside. They are bulky, clumsy, ineffective, and totally inappropriate for anyone with nipples on the smaller side. They're hard to use, difficult to put on and take off, and generally uncomfortable whether they're vibrating or not. I recommend using with a partner at the very least as it's a lot easier to put the clamps on with help. Additionally, I also found that turning the vibrating function on was harder to do alone than with a partner. I would not recommend trying to wear these for longer periods of time, or under clothing, as the clamps are bulky and tend to get caught easily on... well, everything.
    • Anyone
    • Couples

Material / Texture

These vibrating nipple clamps are made out of non-porous and phthalates-free rubber and metal. The rubber has a smooth texture, and is made out of food-grade material. It's also latex-free for those who are sensitive to such things.

The clamps themselves are made out of metal with rubber coating. The tension screws are metal, too. Everything else is made out of the same non-porous rubber. The feel is nice, but the design is flawed, as I note below. The smell is a little offensive at first; I found though that a good wash before use clears that up a lot. I think the odor must have something to do with the packaging.
    • Not porous at all
    • Smooth
    • Strong odor

Shape / Design / Size / Fit

The clamps were very heavy and didn't stay put well at all. I would very much not recommend this product to anyone with nipples on the smaller side. Those with larger nipples may have more luck getting the clamps to stay in place, but because of the weight and the size of the clamps, smaller nipples will have a harder time supporting them. The clamps are just too bulky and heavy to stay put comfortably.

In addition to the size and weight of the clamps, I also found that they were pretty hard to put on and take off. These nipple clamps have little screws to adjust the tension, but even trying different tension didn't make enough of a difference to make them comfortable or easy to remove or apply.
    • Only fits large nipples
    • Tight clamping

Functions / Performance / Controls

One of the things that drove me absolutely crazy trying to use these nipple clamps is that there was no range to the vibration. When they were off, the things weren't stimulating at all. When they were on, the vibrations were so overwhelmingly powerful that I did not get any pleasure out of it. It was like there was absolutely no middle ground between "off" and "way too much" vibration.
    • Hard to put on / take off
    • Not very stimulating
    • Strong vibrations

Care and Maintenance

Because these nipple clamps are made from non-porous materials, clean up should be relatively easy: just some toy cleaner or hot, soapy water will usually do the trick. However, I tagged this product as a hard to clean item because of all the little parts that make up the clamps. For example, each of the clamps has a little screw that adjusts tension; getting that wet could result in the metal rusting if it isn't dried properly immediately after cleaning. There are just so many pieces and crevices involved it's hard to clean every little bit correctly.
    • Hard to clean
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.
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Comments
  • toxie m
    toxie m  
    Dang, this sounds like all kinds of no good! Thanks for putting your nipples through this madness in order to write this great review
  • Tantric Tendencies
    Tantric Tendencies  
    Thanks for review!
  • Do emu
    Do emu  
    Thanks for sharing with us!
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