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A Mediocre Harness "Upgrade"

If you are looking for a plaything to bring along to the beach or hot tub, this might be a good bet for you. You could have a great time playing with it in water. Or, if Vac-U-Lock compatibility is particularly important to you, this is a good choice as well. For anywhere you don't need the waterproofing, I would go with something more comfortable and ergonomic! It may be cute, but I feel there are better quality options for the price. I am moving on!
Published:
Pros:
Vac-u-Lock adaptor, highly adjustable, washable and water friendly
Cons:
stitching tears fabric, hard to get snug, stinks when first opened
Rating by reviewer:
3
extremely useful review

Use

For this harness, we are focusing on Female to male peg-play. For the dildo we are using the The Slim for intermediate anal penetration training, which, after much fiddling with different O-ring sizes, fits very securely and firmly in the harness.

Sturdy! Sturdy!

Without clothing underneath the harness, it can be bearable to wear, but the rough nylon is much better borne with underwear, pajama bottoms, or short-shorts underneath to save your sensitive inner thigh and groin skin from the straps! It has the potential to be a shower, tub, or pool harness, since the materials are all water-friendly and machine washable.

We have been exploring peg-play slowly and gently for a few years, and I thought this would be a great upgrade from a previous, cheaper and less elaborate harness. Let's just say it works "Fine." It holds up for our light and gentle play, but a tear that is starting in the rear of the harness is jeopardizing its space in my toy box.
  • Who / How / What
    [ ? ]
    Who might this product be best for? How is it best used? What are the best circumstances or situations for using this product?
    • Lesbian sex
    • Pegging
    • Strap-on sex
  • Where
    [ ? ]
    Where / what types of places can this product be used?
    • Bedroom
    • Scene
    • Tub/shower/pool
  • Features
    [ ? ]
    What kind of features does this product offer?
    • Water

Material

The materials used for the harness are completely synthetic, though the black O-rings that are included may be rubber.

The nylon webbing straps are pretty common in harnesses, and are used here. The nylon provides durability, strength, and resistance to being wetted down. The straps appear easy to clean, but after a mold problem last year infested this same material on a backpack of mine, I can tell you that the webbing can quickly become a hub for microbes or spores or whatever is floating around, especially if it is not kept clean and dry.

Moving along to the main parts of the harness, where all of the fittings and hardware mount. This section, which really ought to be very durable, is made of neoprene, like a wetsuit or lunchbox type of material. The edges are finished with nylon webbing edges, which keeps the harness looking neat, but also give it a tendency to curl up around the edges. Most of the the fittings are hard plastic, with metal snaps, all of which feel very sturdy, almost too sturdy for the thickness of the neoprene.
    • Mixed materials

Design / Craftsmanship

I've been tugging at the straps for a couple days, and have finally got the corset end to sit just above the tailbone with the front, centered and almost (not quite) in a position that I actually like for the dildo, for intermediate anal penetration training. It holds this slightly heavy toy at full attention and very sturdily. No complaints there!

In my previous harness review about the Bare-as-You-Dare Harness, I complained that the singular strap running straight along the center of the crotch was just terrible, pokey, scratchy, and wedgie inducing. I am tempted to rescind a statement I had made that a better design would be "two straps, to make it more like a crotchless thong" because the duo-straps on this sucker just mean twice the pokey/scratchy sensation. While there isn't any kind of "wedgie", the curve of my thighs (very skinny at the crotch and exploding to maximum circumference almost immediately below that) feel like strangled sausages because the straps wedgie themselves into the joint on each side. In defense of the design, the entire crotch area remains unobstructed, just in case you or your partner is inspired to touch or insert something in that area during play.

You know, where you can feel that tendon when you open and close your legs move? I don't know about anybody else, but having pressure on those tendons freaks me the **** out. As the lower straps wrap around that area, underneath, and up to the back of the harness, they twist in such a way that disagrees with my low-hanging pear-shaped behind. All the pictures of models wearing the harness look rather perky and nice with the straps coming up and around, but they almost serve to flatten my butt down. Not very noticeably or to a ruinous effect, but mention-able for maybe a lady who is sensitive about such things.

Flatened butt.


Ow, my crotch

I don't know how well you can see (not very good at taking pictures of my crotch), but these straps just don't interface well with my body shape, with or without pants. They begin to twist to accommodate my rear, but end up twisted in the front and center.



When I finally got it tight enough to feel snug and started "messing around", look what happened!

Tearing begins

The sturdy straps are looped through the plastic hardware and sewn directly into the soft main body, and started tearing on the rear piece. I guess I should mention that this area was already slightly torn, with light coming through the fabric, but with use the seemingly tiny hole just got bigger and bigger. I will repair this on the sewing machine, but I feel that a repair is unnecessary for a brand new toy after one use.


Up front, you have some great options. You can choose to use the ABS plastic Vac-U-Lock adaptor that fits all toys of the same name with a great "snap-on" option. It has a great foam padding on the back of the plastic plate, so you have a little extra cushion while you're pushin'.

Vac-U-Lock attachment

Unfortunately, I don't have any Vac-U-Lock toys, so I can't really use that function and comment on it. I can tell you that order to install the adaptor, you have to awkwardly shove it into a very tight front pocket and out of the hole in the front, feel around for the snaps inside the pocket and snap the adapter in to secure it.


Awkward angles


It will hold very well! You have to keep an O-ring on it, however, because if you take the O-ring off, you are left with four very unsturdy "nubs" where the straps would usually be attached to the ring with snaps.



The corset part is pretty much useless and only there for aesthetics, because while it does adjust and tighten, there is nothing the lacing can do to customize your fit that could not, more easily, be done by the nylon straps. The corset is laced with a string that looks and feels like a shoelace. I was pleased to see they used grommets to reinforce the lacing holes for it, though with metal or plastic I can't quite tell. Anybody have a magnet?


Die Corsette


I have not yet mentioned the tremendous stink of this harness. Mostly because it pains me to have to remember the horrifying smell that croaked from the box after I opened it. I don't know how much time you spend around bumper repair shops, but the first thing that came to mind as the first wave of stench from this harness hit me was bumper repair epoxy and every cheap plastic object in the home improvement section of the Korean dollar store at any given fleamarket. A strong chemical smell, that still lingers with the harness despite being much less intense than it was first coming out of a plastic bag after sitting in the Florida sun for a while.

One final component of the harness is that it has adjustable garter snaps all the way around, so you can hook your hosiery onto the harness neatly and securely! They hook on and off using little hooks and fabric looks like on bras with removable straps.



Bra-strap like hooks for garter straps

Standard garter snaps for hosiery
    • Fits many size toys
    • Interchangeable o-ring
    • No o-ring needed

Size / Fit

Size: Big. Have to trim the straps to keep from looking like wearing a black nylon hula skirt. Ends will have to be singed with a torch or lighter to keep from fraying.



Fit: Big. Can never get it to feel 100% as snug as I would like it to. It is very adjustable and can be adjusted in very miniscule ways, so if you can fill it out a little better than I can, it will probably be very comfortable.


STILL NOT SNUG!!!


This harness does not lie when it says it can accompany up to a 60" waist! The straps are literally adjustable to nearly 32" for each lower strap, and nearly 25" on the top straps. Honey, if you need more wiggle room than that, I just don't know what to tell you!



If you are much smaller around the hips and waist than I am, (under 26" waist) you will definitely not be able to tighten this harness all the way. So, smaller ladies will probably have to pass on this harness. Average sized ladies like myself will have no problem fitting it, but you will have a surplus of strap to swing around. Larger ladies are in luck with this one, and the design is probably a little bit better for the larger ladies.

In my case, this harness is not only made for a much larger lady (and I am no bean-pole, either, with 42" hips and 30" waist), but it almost fits me that way, too. What I mean to say is that when I have this harness on (forget the 2 feet of itchy nylon hanging down from each adjustment point), I have a hard time getting it to feel snug! I've been tugging at the straps for a couple days, and have finally got the corseted back-side to sit just above the tailbone with the front centered and almost (not quite) in a position that I actually like. The size of the front and back pieces is very close to just-right (just a little too big) for me. If you are much much larger, those parts may look a little bit dwarfed in proportion to your body, and not be flattering.

The front pad where the o-rings or Vac-U-Lock attach sits awkwardly on the body (edges are raised all around). If you were so inclined to wear this harness under jeans(ouch!) it just might be undetectable, assuming you don't wear very form-fitting jeans. Otherwise, this harness will not pass for underwear and will be very bulky and obvious when worn underneath clothing. Viewed from the front, people might think you are wearing a diaper.
    • Adjustable
    • Plus-size friendly

Performance

It worked, that is as terse and as basic as I could put it. However, as I mentioned before, this harness had a little hole in it right out of the box, and the tear simply began to grow as I attempted to tighten it and even worse while it was in use. The straps, as mentioned, cut uncomfortably into my tendons, the vital areas during pegging, even though I think this is simply out of the virtue of my unfortunately shaped thighs and butt. Once I put a little band-aid on the tearing problem, I will probably be giving this harness a shower run and a machine wash (but not before!) and will include that in my follow up (maybe, if it makes it that long).

The other complaint, of many, that I had about this particular design was that you have to loosen and adjust it every single time that you put in on, unless you have some excellent contortionist skills that you can use to make your hips smaller and wider on a whim. This means that if you find the perfect fit, you will have to ruin that fit and then find it again the next time you take it off and put it back on. Having the ability to disconnect one or two straps would mean that you can keep your exact fit and take the harness on and off. Just a suggestion!
    • Bulky
    • Chafes
    • Holds toys very well

Care and Maintenance

The best way to keep this toy clean would be to remove any O-rings, the adaptor, or dildo, and just throw it into the washing machine for a handwash cycle and hang to dry, or air dry (no-heat) in the dryer.

The materials are such that they can handle being wet with water or other things without compromising them, unlike leather harnesses which are much more sensitive to being submerged. It is really not a very sensitive item, I would keep it away from any intense heat and from harsh chemicals like bleach or cleaning solvents. Otherwise, throw it on the floor, hang it in the closet is, fold it up in the toybox, it doesn't really matter since this toy won't really complain either way.

The ABS plastic Vac-U-Lock attachment can be washed with soap and water. In order to preserve the life of the attachment and your Vac-U-Lock toys, the manufacturer recommends using the included (not really, where is my lube powder!) lubricant powder when inserting the adapter into any toy, to make insertion and removal easier.

Once again, as I mentioned, if mold or other type of invasive growth begins to take hold in the nylon strapping, I can almost guarantee you will want to throw it out. Short of a long soak in vinegar and the hot sun, there isn't much to be done to make sure all that junk is gone. So, the moral of the story is make sure that your harness is completely dry, inside and out, and completely free of bodily fluids before storing it away. An even better idea is to be sure that the area you store it in has no condensation or humidity that can build up and harbor mold or fungus, and has good airflow.
    • Easy to clean
    • Easy to store

Packaging

The package says that this is a kit that includes powder! Where was my powder?! I certainly didn't find any in my box, very disappointing.


Powder!!


The included infographic instructions also show that you ought to use powder to insert the Vac-U-Lock adaptor into whatever toy you choose, along with how to insert and remove the adaptor, and how to adjust the straps to your liking. Very simple and easy to understand.


O-rings assortment


Otherwise, despite being very not-subtle, the package is very bright and pretty, and completely sufficient to protect everything inside, which is all crushproof to begin with. (My package came completely crushed and smushed, everything inside was absolutely fine)

Packaging, minus plastics


For the eco-conscious, literally every item in the box came inside a plastic baggie. Big no-no, very unnecessary plastic packaging. Recycle that mess!
    • Excessive
    • Inaccurate
    • Very informative

Personal comments

As I complete this review, it seems that this harness has been "Discontinued" from EF. Not sure if this is permanent, but I'm kind of glad that it has been. For me, it works and I kind of like it, but in the future I will be searching for something different. I really liked that it included a Vac-U-Lock plug with it, but in the end you can purchase this kind of adapter for almost any kind of strap-on.
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.
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This review was edited by
  • Wicked Wahine Wicked Wahine
  • Rank:
     
    5.7
  • Edited reviews: 608
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Comments
  • Wicked Wahine
    Wicked Wahine  
    This is the best harness review I've ever read! I just nominated you for the rumble! Really, if you did a review blog, you'd have manufacturers lining up to have you test stuff! Glad I got to edit this, though nothing much was required because you write cleanly - thanks for that!
  • Naksetamun
    Naksetamun  
    What??? Thank you so much, that means a lot to me!
  • Wicked Wahine
    Wicked Wahine  
    You're welcome and I meant every word of it!
  • Ziva
    Ziva  
    "Honey, if you need more wiggle room than that, I just don't know what to tell you!"
    That comment made me laugh!! I just recently bought this harness and I too spent 4 or 5 days adjusting and readjusting those stupid straps! I thought "surely I am doing this wrong!" Glad to know I was not the only one that had a rough time with the straps fitting *just right*
    Z
  • Naksetamun
    Naksetamun  
    Definitely, they should send a professional harness-fitter along with this thing to strap you in it... instead of letting us grapple with it for days like cave people...
  • Rossie
    Rossie  
    This is a truly awesome review -- no wonder Wicked Wahine nominated it for the Rumble!
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