UR3 ballsy royal - realistic dildo discontinued by Doc Johnson - review by Tori Rebel

When I received the UR3 Ballsy royal, it looked like a great toy. The simple snap-close molded plastic packaging has a fun design, the toy is bright, bright, blue, and the size was just what I'd wanted. Unfortunately, that's where most the positive ended for me with this toy.

Once it was out of the package, it had a slight smell, but nothing offensive. It's almost a little fruity and although it has weakened over time, it's still got a bit of a scent to it. The UR3 comes slightly dusted to protect it and I really like the soft skin-like feel of the toy. It does have quite a bit of drag to it so you will want to lubricate it, no matter what you're using it for. It has a defined head and veins and a pair of flat backed testicles at the bottom to add to the realism. The toy is about 8" long with 7" being insertable and it comes in at ever so slightly over 1-3/4" across and feels heavier than you'd expect by its appearance.

The toy looks firm and erect in the package but once it's out, it's just plain floppy. You can hold it by the base and flop it back and forth and swing it around in a circle with very little effort. This makes it pretty much impossible to use for anal in my opinion because it's just too mushy to actually push in through such a tight orifice. It will actually bend into itself if you try and push on it. This sucks because the toy is fairly anal safe because of the testicles at the base and is also o-ring compatible although I didn't use it that way.

When it comes to vaginal insertion, the toy is usable but still kind of a pain. It just doesn't thrust well or easily. It's more apt to try and bend or flop to the side, especially if thrusted quickly. It doesn't hit my g-spot at all and the formed head and veins even go to waste because it's so squishy and squeezable that they basically disappear when inserted. It also does nothing for a clitoris and if it could be inserted into a male I highly doubt it would be effective on the p-spot either.

I would venture to say the toy would be good for simulating oral in a harness, but it does have a strange plastic-y rubbery taste to it that may turn a lot of people off. It can be used in water because of the lack of mechanical components but since you can only use water based lube with it, you will probably end up with a pretty quick lack of lubrication unless you're naturally generously lubricated.

The material is also very high maintenance and prone to problems. UR3 is comprised of the same materials as Cyberskin and Futerotic, all a very porous PVC blend. Although this toy is phthalate free and latex free, it will hold germs like a vacuum. For this reason I would recommend a condom on this one definitely for sharing or anal, but even if you're only using it on your own vagina. The material is so porous that it's just not worth the risk. It is also recommended that only water based lubricant is used with this toy - silicone and oil based lubes have the potential to damage it.

This is not a discreet toy by any means. Although it makes no sound, there's no way you could write it off as a paperweight or decorative sculpture if someone found it - it's very obviously a big blue penis. The care requirements of this toy also make it inconvenient for travel since you'd also have to carry clean ziplocs and cornstarch.

The material needs to be washed with soap and water or toy cleaner prior to and after every use, and dusted with cornstarch (not talc!) once it's dried, and before it's stored. It needs to be stored in a dark, cool, place in a bag or package by itself. This toy is also a lint/dust/hair magnet so keeping clean can be quite the chore. I keep mine in the original packaging because it keeps the toy in its upright shape, even though it is a little large. It cannot be stored with other UR3, PVC blend, or jelly toys as they can damage each other, and heat and sunlight will also destroy this toy.

This toy was pretty disappointing to me. It's really not at all useful in my sex life because it's too soft and floppy to feel good or use easily. Although this could be used by any gender, couple, single, or sexuality, I'm not sure it would bring pleasure to many. The list of material drawbacks also overshadow any good qualities the toy might have.

I really can't recommend this toy anyone simply because I don't know who it would work for. Unless you want a gag gift, bachelorette party centerpiece, or a dildo to sword fight or use as a light saber in some sci-fi role play, this one just ends up being useless and not worth the trouble and maintenance.

I really do like the size and detail though, I just wish they made it out of a firmer material. I've given it 2 stars for the visual detail, super realistic skin-like feeling, and o-ring compatibility.

Now, to be fair, I normally give all of my first-time-fail toys a second round or two, just to make sure there's no learning curve that I'm missing. This one didn't get a second chance. It's too floppy and wobbly for me to use at all, so besides some serious consideration toward drawing a face on it and calling it "Dr Manhattan" for the dress-up-a-dildo Halloween contest, this one is useless in my book.