Basix dong - realistic dildo by Pipedream - review by Shanna Germain

The New Intimacy

Realistic dildo discontinued
by

Other Basix dong reviews

Basixly Suxs

Ick. Ew. If you want a dong that is realistic, feels nice and smells like nothing, this is NOT your toy. If you have a fetish for baby-latex smells, for sticky sweaty materials or for dog-chewed looking penises, then go for it.
Published:
Pros
Good natural color.
Cons
Smells bad. Sticky. Doesn't wash off. Ugly as sin.
Rating by reviewer:
1
extremely useful review

Use

So, like most dongs, this could be used for straight-up insertion, a harness, etc. It's large - 7.5 inches and fairly thick around, so it's not exactly for beginners.

All of that being said, I will admit that I did something I've never done before -- I absolutely flat-out refused to try this toy in the way that it's supposed to be tried. Why, you might ask? Read my section on materials. The horrible smell and sticky, nasty texture (even after washing twice) was such a turn-off that there was no way I was touching it to any part of my body other than my hands....

Material / Texture

According to the website, "Our American-made rubber is 100 percent phthalates and latex-free, environmentally safe and hypoallergenic." If that's the truth, then why does it smell so bad?

First impressions: Open the package and this thing REEKS to high heaven. It's a combination of chemicals, PlayDoh, babies (used baby powder, diapers and milk), latex and something else that I can't put my finger on (and don't really want to).

It's slimy too. ( See the pictures of what the inside of the plastic case looks like here ). I mean, like, I took it out of the case to take photos of it, and then had to wash my hands. Twice. Which still smelled bad, but at least they were no longer sliming all over my computer keys.

Update: I've now washed it, twice. It still smells horrific and it's still grossly sticky. Talk about a turn-off.
    • Flexible
    • Sticky
    • Strong odor

Design / Shape / Size

This is one ugly cock. The balls are sunken, the shaft and head look like something was nibbling at it, and it's oddly soft. Not soft enough that you could pack with it, but not so hard that you could do heavy thrusting with it. It's like a cock at that stage of, "I'm hard, but I'm not hard enough to get inside you, can you give me a blow job first?" You know that stage.

The only thing they got right is the color. It's fairly realistic, not overly pink, not overly yellow. If I hold it up to my skin, it actually looks like a real skin color. Points for that.

Performance

Just no. I suppose it could work well for thrusting once it was inside, but it's big and fat and not very firm, so I see some potential issues with it. Beyond the obvious touch, smell, feel, ugly factor.

Care and Maintenance

I suppose it would be easy to care for. It seems fairly indestructible, although I have no idea how you'd wash it to get the smell and feel of it out. You could throw it in any toybox and it would survive. I don't plan on keeping it around and the dog doesn't even want it to chew on, so that makes care and maintenance very easy.

Packaging

Simple packaging. Not recyclable. The inside was covered with gook when I opened it and took the toy out. Not so pleasant.

Personal comments

Ick. Ew. If you want a dong that is realistic, feels nice and smells like nothing, this is NOT your toy. If you have a fetish for baby-latex smells, for sticky sweaty materials or for dog-chewed looking penises, then go for it.
Follow-up commentary
If you read the original review, you can probably guess that I don't have anything new and good to say about this toy. Except perhaps to urge you to buy one of the many other fantastic dongs out there instead of this one.
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.

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Comments
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  • Contributor: Eden C.
    Haha, hilarious review! I'm sorry it didn't work out for you, though!
  • Contributor: Shanna Germain
    Ah, thanks. It's definitely not one of my favorites. To put it kindly.
  • Contributor: Solar Ray
    Great review... now I know another product to definitely avoid.
  • Contributor: Shanna Germain
    With so many great products out there, it's silly to waste your money on the bad ones. If anyone has a great dong suggestion, I'd love to hear it!
  • Contributor: P'Gell
    Shannah, @
    It's slimy too. ( See the pictures of what the inside of the plastic case looks like here ). I mean, like, I took it out of the case to take photos of it, and then had to wash my hands. Twice. Which still smelled bad, but at least they were no longer sliming all over my computer keys.

    OMG, it jizzed in the box! EW!

    I'm still laughing. I feel bad you had to go through it though. Really.
  • Contributor: Alys
    Great review, but too bad the thing was so bad! It's good to know which products to avoid, and smelly, dildos aren't something I'm into
  • Contributor: Shanna Germain
    Hahahaha, P'Gell, yes it did!

    Thanks, Alys.
  • Contributor: jankit
    Your review was humorous, but not totally fair. I mean, I can see that the manufacturer was going for realistic but from a design and marketing standpoint, it's probably not going to be the perfect cock. (Too realistic and people get intimidated!) Anyway, some people might like a slightly different - in this case, hideously lumpy and deformed - shape. Some people might like a bit of sticky drag on their skin too! It REALLY tells me something about this toy that you wouldn't even "take one for the team" and attempt insertion, but it also makes this review a little unhelpful if we don't know actual performance of the product as indicated by your personal experience. I do like that you pointed out its more... aromatic qualities. And it IS unfortunate that it didn't work for you, but perhaps a few creative suggestions like lube and condoms would not be out of place as opposed to a negative barrage.

    Overall, okay review. It made me laugh.
  • Contributor: Shanna Germain
    Ah, you're right jankit. I usually do those things for toys, take one for the team, as it were. But I'm also not going to put something this ... for want of a nicer term... nasty inside my body, team or no. I'm hoping someone else will find it less repugnant and will be willing to add to the review by going the extra mile.
  • Contributor: fletchy
    excellent review ! 8-)
  • Contributor: Eucaly
    So the dog doesn't even want to chew on it, huh?
  • Contributor: systematicweasel
    Great review ^^ Sorry it didn't work out
  • Contributor: LavenderSkies
    Thanks!
  • Contributor: Positwist
    What a nightmare of a dildo! Fun to read your review about it, though. Thanks!
  • Contributor: spineyogurt
    Thanks for the review!
  • Contributor: blackjack-7
    This thing sounds hilariously awful! Sorry for your bad experience
  • Contributor: Sima-pusya
    Thanks for the review!
  • Contributor: angel142stx
    Thanks for the review
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