Crystal jellies ballsy cock - realistic dildo by Doc Johnson - review by Mr. F

  • Christmas shipping schedule

Get Some Balls, and Grab this Cock

Though basic and seemingly ordinary, this is a toy you will keep coming back to even instead of more sophisticated, more expensive dildos. If I had to give this toy a nickname, it would probably be "Old Reliable," "Trusty," or maybe "Daniel." It is a cock in the truest sense of the word-simple, practical, and one hell of a fun ride.
Published:
Pros:
Low cost, Practical, Fun colors, Good quality, Detailed, Long Lasting.
Cons:
Slightly unsafe material, Dust magnet, Mild smell.
Rating by reviewer:
4
extremely useful review

Use

I'm a gay guy, and I'm loving this toy. Though not specifically designed for anal play, this dildo does it, and it does it well. It's soft and pliable, which makes it very comfortable getting in, but it's also firm and very satisfying. It also adjusts to your body temperature pretty quickly, which makes it feel just that much more realistic. My favorite use of this toy though, by far, is in the shower. Just slap the suction-cup onto your shower wall, slide this guy in, and ride like there's no tomorrow! The suction cup is very sturdy, and very rarely slips even the tiniest bit. And once it's on something, it's staying on! My only advice is try to avoid getting water in it, that makes it more prone to sliding all over the place.
  • Who / How / What
    [ ? ]
    Who might this product be best for? How is it best used? What are the best circumstances or situations for using this product?
    • Couples
    • Everyone
    • Solo
  • Where
    [ ? ]
    Where / what types of places can this product be used?
    • Anywhere
    • Campus/roommate living
    • Tub/shower/pool
  • Features
    [ ? ]
    What kind of features does this product offer?
    • Travel friendly
  • Body / part areas
    [ ? ]
    What areas on the body can this product be used / what areas does it stimulate best?
    • Anal

Material / Texture

The Sil-a-Gel is soft, smooth, and very pleasing to the touch. I wouldn't call it hyper-realistic though, and it's kind of sticky when the toy doesn't have lube on it. While squishy and pliable, this toy is also firm enough to make the ride comfortable and satisfying. My only complaint is that the material is slightly porous which means it's less hygienic than other toys, but it does have an antibacterial property, and even my nitpicky fears can be quelled with the simple application of a condom. If that's not enough for you, you can always give this toy a wash in some warm water with antibacterial soap. This guy picks up dust and hair like a magnet, so I recommend keeping him in a case. That, and this toy smells vaguely of strawberry. I have no idea if that was intentional, but I think it's cute, and I smell it every time I open my underwear drawer now.
    • Harness compatible
    • Light odor
    • Somewhat porous

Design / Shape / Size

For me, this toy hit the sweet spot. I mean that both literally and figuratively. As far as realistic dildos go, this one may not be the best, but there's nothing that can beat it for the price in my opinion. This cock has some really nice details on it, and it feels fantastic inside. While pretty average length-wise, this dildo is a bit thicker than it looks, and it's great for casual use. The balls, while definitely fake feeling, make this toy safe for use anally, as there is no risk of it getting lost inside you. I would definitely recommend this for someone looking for a basic, reliable dildo, but I would strongly advise against it if you want something big, or that can have a bullet attached to turn it into a vibrator. And as obvious as it seems, I should probably point out that this dildo is not at all discreet, and if some Nosy-Nelly finds it, they're gonna know what's up. That being said, the trade offs are worth it, and this guy has become my standard shower toy for when I'm looking for simple, easy kicks.
    • Realistic
    • Ergonomic

Performance

The best thing about this toy is its simplicity. It is a cock. You insert it in your body, and you get off. It's not hyper-realistic, but its level of detail is enough to convince your imagination, and once you've done that, it's all good. The suction cup is fantastic quality, durable, and doesn't slip-and-slide or pop off. At worst, it may wiggle a few inches out of position, but it's generally too little to notice, and if you do, you can always slide it back into place. It can be a little bit difficult to get off a wall once it's up there, but I prefer that to something that isn't reliable. With some work, you can get this guy to tickle your prostate, but he's not the best at it, and I would recommend a dedicated prostate massager over this if you want to do that. That being said, when it comes to standard self-fucking, this guy is the champion of this price range. The combination of a wonderful suction cup, quality material, durability, and low price make this a really tough offer to beat.
    • Comfortable
    • Easy to use
    • Not very discreet

Care and Maintenance

Taking care of this guy is simple as can be. Given the realistic cock shape, any condom will work on this, so sanitation is a breeze. Don't want to use a condom? That's fine, the Sil-a-Gel has antibacterial properties, so even if you're going up the back door, it's cleaner than other toys made of similar material. Though, if you're going to be using this anally and vaginally (or even anally and orally) the porous nature of the material necessitates either a condom, or a good wash in between. All you need to do is wash in warm water with antibacterial soap and you should be fine. There is very little clouding over time, and you can leave this guy in storage without a case with no harm coming to him. However, this toy will attract dust and hair like a magnet, so if you do store it for long periods of time, you should rinse it with warm water before using it again.
    • Easy to clean
    • Easy to store

Packaging

As a quick note: the packaging for this toy is not discreet at all, so don't open it in front of company/kids/your relatives at Thanksgiving. As soon as I got it out of the shipping box, I had a pretty good laugh at the "CRYSTAL JELLY BALLSY COCK" emblazoned across the front. That being said, I certainly didn't buy this toy for any discreet purpose, so I didn't mind that much.
    • Not discreet
    • Recyclable

Personal comments

This toy fits right into my lifestyle, and is a great basic masturbation companion. It has become my standard, go-to toy for when I want a satisfying orgasm without too many bells-and-whistles. If I had to describe this toy in one word, it would be 'practical,' although 'satisfying' is a very close second.
This content is the opinion of the submitting contributor and is not endorsed by EdenFantasys.com
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This review was edited by
  • ~LaUr3n~ ~LaUr3n~
  • Rank:
     
    7.7
  • Edited reviews: 580
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Comments
  • ~LaUr3n~
    ~LaUr3n~  
    Excellent first review~! This was a delight to read
  • ToyGeek
    ToyGeek  
    Hmm, but I already have a dildo named Daniel. Great review!
  • KnK
    KnK  
    Congrats on your first review and welcome to EF!
  • Rainbow Boy
    Rainbow Boy  
    Is this really your first review? That was superb!!

    I've been considering this dildo lately, and I'm not sure if I should get it. I still don't have a dedicated shower dildo with a suction cup yet, so I'm tempted to get this. How flexible is the material?
  • Mr. F
    Mr. F  
    The material is very nicely flexible, with a decent amount of give, but is still very rigid. It's a bit hard to explain, they found a very nice balance with the material- flexible enough to be comfortable but hard enough to be very satisfying during use.
  • Curves
    Curves  
    really good review! thank you!
  • Forever17
    Forever17  
    thanks for the ol reliable review
  • haley730
    haley730  
    Great review! Love the title
  • GONE!
    GONE!  
    Thanks for the review!
  • MK434
    MK434  
    Great review!
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