Gia Darling futurotic dong - vibrator by Cal Exotics - review by DrNike69

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Gia Darling is not a friend I'd like to have

Personally, this was my least favorite toy out of the entirety of my toy box, and I have a lot of toys that I didn't enjoy but still use to spice things up. However, I highly doubt I would ever use this toy again, and would not recommend it to anyone I know. The excessive floppiness, my unhappiness with the material, the inability to suction to any material, and the mid range price really did not appeal to me in the least.
Published:
Pros:
Good vibes, easy to use remote.
Cons:
Poor material, no suction on suction cup, hard to clean and take care of.
Rating by reviewer:
1
extremely useful review

Use

The Gia Darling Futurotic Vibe was a purchase I made because I generally like realistic feel vibrators and I wanted to try out a suction cup toy. This toy failed on both counts.

The vibe in this toy is particularly strong, as it is a basic bullet, and it can be felt throughout the entire short length of the penis and balls, however the toy is so flimsy that it was difficult to insert, regardless of lube. It is nice because once inserted, you can feel the vibes on the inside and outside, but that is pretty much the extent of the good of this toy.

Material / Texture

The texture of this toy is supposed to be ultra realistic. To be fair, the futurotic material is incredibly life like at first touch, and when grasped it does feel remarkably like a penis. Past that, the feeling of this toy is strange. When rubbing your hands or other body parts onto the toy, it starts to peel off and feels like you are pulling layers of skin off of the dong.

It tastes horrible, and it has a slight sweet odor. The manufacturers include a tiny vial of talc to keep the toy fresh, but the talc itself has a smell. I used Climax Bursts Cleansing Gel on the Gia Darling and, while being safe on all my other toys, the gentle cleanser took off at least one layer of the material, and none of the smell came off.

Inside the material feels dirty, despite being clean, and sticks to dry skin in an uncomfortable way. However, when adding lube the toy, which is flimsy and floppy, becomes almost impossible to insert with two hands, let alone trying to lower yourself on top of it if it were suctioned like it is intended to be used. It doesn't match the solidity of an actual erect penis in the least, and is incredibly floppy and flimsy. It is also important to keep in mind that the Futurotic material is very very porous and should be used with condoms and very thoroughly cleaned after each use.

Design / Shape / Size

I tried continuously on different materials to get this suction cup to stick - it doesn't stick sideways, it doesn't stick up and down. It doesn't stick on tile, ceramic tubs, metal file cabinets, or finished particleboard. The best place it stuck was the tile in the bathroom, however it only stuck for a quick second, and only on its own. As soon as the toy is moved in any way the suction is lost.

The size and shape are okay, but leave much to be desired due to the floppiness of the actual toy. The toy is supposedly modeled exactly from the penis of a transgendered individual named Gia Darling, and I have to say, for a porn star she/he is not very well endowed. If you are looking for size, this is definitely not your thing. I don't use toys anally, but this might be good for anal use, because the balls on the base are wide enough to be safe in that arena, and it has a gradual width. However, I enjoy big and hard toys, as I'm sure many women do, and this is not that toy.

As far as travel/hiding goes, the strange material that this is made of seems to pick up dirt, dust, and hair. For this reason I keep it in a giant plastic zipper bag, because it gets really dirty really fast, so I wouldn't recommend taking it anywhere. Also, the remote on the bullet turns quite easily and could turn into a bit of a noisy situation if it knocked against anything.

Functions / Performance / Controls

The vibes for this toy are not lacking. The material makes it easy to feel the vibes throughout the toy, including in the balls. The bullet is situated in the base of the toy, and are very pleasurably strong without being overwhelming.

The remote is a bit touchy, and it is just one wheel that controls the strength on both sides. It is easily knocked on, because it doesn't click off very well. It is pretty easy to use, but if the toy properly worked and was able to suction on things the wire for the remote would likely be too short.

Care and Maintenance

Washing this toy with my normal toy cleanser, which is quite gentle, turned out to be a bad idea since it peeled off a layer of the material. Washing with plain hand soap and water seemed to be okay, but I wouldn't recommend using it for too long. The manufacturer includes talc in the toy box, but does not instruct on how to use it to preserve the toy. Since the material picks up every little bit of dirt and hair all over everything I have the dong stored in a plastic zipper bag inside my toy box, and have therefore had no material interaction issues.

Packaging

Since this toy is a mold of a transsexual's penis, naturally said transsexual is on the box displaying his/her penis, which is a bit vulgar and could most definitely not be used as a gift box. The instruction manual was only on how to insert the batteries and control the remote - some information on the care and keeping of the unique material would have been beneficial but are no where to be found.
Follow-up commentary
Still smells bad, and after sitting in my storage box for an extremely long period of time the material on the toy has decided to melt. Gross.
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.
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Comments
  • Mr. I
    Mr. I  
    Good review! I'm glad I didn't get this one!
  • darkkitty
    darkkitty  
    Thank you for the helpful review!
  • sasweetheart89
    sasweetheart89  
    thanks for the review!
  • Dangerous Lilly
    Dangerous Lilly  
    ewww toss it out! who knows what chemicals it is leaching out
  • Rey
    Rey  
    thx for the honest review
  • MK434
    MK434  
    Thanks for the review!
  • Rory
    Rory  
    Nice review! Thanks!!
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