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I'm speechless and drooling and it smells like gummy bears.

You will more than likely love everything about this cock. It's damn near perfect. Be wary of the size though if you are very sensitive or small as this is a fairly large toy.
Published:
Pros:
Texture, size, and smells like gummy bears
Cons:
A bit sticky, smells like gummy bears.
Rating by reviewer:
5
useful review
Okay, so maybe I'm not speechless. I actually do have something to say about this cock. And first on my list of things to say is...

WOW!!! HOLY MOTHER OF TROY AND ALL THINGS GOOD, GREEN AND GRASSY THIS THING IS FRIGGIN' AMAZING!!!

And now that I have that out of my system let me proceed by justifying my excitement about this cock in terms that are a tad more intelligible than the incessant moans and screams of ecstasy that emanated from my bedroom last night.

This toy is just about as perfect as you can get.

The texture is incredible. It is very nicely veined but also has just enough surface texture to allow you to feel every tiny, little movement.

It also has a fantastic size. I will say right now though that this is not a toy for beginners. It's pretty big and has a good heft to it, so if you are small or extremely sensitive I would suggest going with something on the slightly smaller side.

One thing I can think of right off the top of my head that might be an issue for someone else is that, while it has no discernible taste, it smells precisely like a just-opened bag of really fresh gummy bears. This smell will translate into a slight gummy bear-ish taste if you do something like use it on your girlfriend and then go down on her afterward. The cock itself, as I've already mentioned, doesn't really taste like anything. This (the smell, that is) does not bother me a bit but I do recognize that the subject of smell in the bedroom is completely subjective.

I would also like to say that this cock works well as a hand-held or strapped on toy. How well this toy works with a strap will completely depend, I expect, on what kind of strap you use. Personally, I'm sporting the Spare Parts Joque Harness and it works well whether I decide to use it with the balls behind the o-ring or in front of it (in which case you can just fold the suction cup in on itself a bit and slip it into the o-ring from the front).

Speaking of the suction cup base...This is the best suction cup I have seen on a toy in a very long time. Walls, tables, chairs or shower tile, it'll stick to just about anything and once it's there you will actually have to work it a little to get it unstuck again but all that means is that it's not going anywhere whilst in use.(Just so you know, I did actually take it around my apartment sticking it to different things just to test it out)

My only issue with this toy has to do with the material. While it feels fantabulous, it is worth mentioning that it is a tad bit sticky. This is made worse when you live in a very humid area (I'm in Georgia) so keep it somewhere cool, dark and dry and make sure that when you use it you also make sure to have adequate lubrication, be it natural or store bought.
Experience
I have given and received with this cock and loved both.

Speaking as a genderqueer FTM (female to masculine) person I have to say that this is easily the best cock I have ever used on my girl and she would agree whole-heartedly. Hands down. No contest.

Receiving is a difficult thing for me to discuss even with people that I am very comfortable with but I will say this. You can feel EVERYTHING and it feels FANTASTIC.
Follow-up commentary
I LOVE THIS COCK!!!

Being the gender variant that I am, having a good, sturdy, reliable cock is extraordinarily important for me. This guy is my wing man, really. We're like buddies now.

Excellent texture, wonderful size, awesome suction cup. Still smells a bit like gummy bears to me.

One thing to watch out for though; it does not taste good. I know that there are very few dildos out there that actually taste good but this one has a pretty unpleasant flavor. Keep in mind, people, that this will affect the flavor of any orifice you put it in so be wary about using your mouth on your partner if you've just used this one for penetration.
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.
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My Crystal jellies ballsy cock tags
  • Who / How / What
    [ ? ]
    Who might this product be best for? How is it best used? What are the best circumstances or situations for using this product?
    • Gender play
    • Masturbation
    • Strap-on sex
  • Where
    [ ? ]
    Where / what types of places can this product be used?
    • Anywhere
  • Features
    [ ? ]
    What kind of features does this product offer?
    • Travel friendly
  • Body / part areas
    [ ? ]
    What areas on the body can this product be used / what areas does it stimulate best?
    • Anal
    • Genitals
    • Oral
Do you like this review?
Comments
  • Annemarie
    Annemarie  
    Mmmmm! Gummi bears!

    Great review.
  • P'Gell
    P'Gell  
    Good start. But, I kind of want to know in a review, What is the dildo made of? What are the measurements (what is "huge" to one person, might be "regular" to an other.) How can you clean it and store it? And what kinds of lubes can you use with it?

    Using the Extended Template can really help your reviewing skills.

    Good start, though.
  • Arren
    Arren  
    Ah, you're correct and generally it is something I put in...must've slipped my mind. Thank you P.
  • ? Amanda ?
    ? Amanda ?  
    Smells like Gummy Bears? Oh my! I like that! Thanks for the review.
  • Hannah Savage
    Hannah Savage  
    I really would have loved to see someone walking around their house sticking a dildo to multiple surfaces! Nice review, haha.
  • Sera
    Sera  
    It smells like gummy bears???
  • snugglebugg
    snugglebugg  
    oooohhhhh a scented vibe
  • Suzy
    Suzy  
    I'm totally interested
  • Serendipity
    Serendipity  
    great review! You had me at gummi bears, LOL but I like that it has great suction too. My fave place using dildo is in the shower.
  • chocoqueen
    chocoqueen  
    great review
  • supersketchmachine
    supersketchmachine  
    wow! awesome review! adding this one to my wish list!
  • G.L. Morrison
    G.L. Morrison  
    I agree with most of the "Mmmm gummy bears" comments above. Not to big on penetration myself but the idea of it --sex and candy smell-- has me turned on. Not sure if it means I should buy the toy or read more of the boi's reviews.
  • Forever17
    Forever17  
    yummy gummy
  • Lucky21
    Lucky21  
    Thanks for the review!
  • jenn g
    jenn g  
    thank you!
  • GONE!
    GONE!  
    Thanks for the review!
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