If It Fits, I Sits

If you love being stretched and feeling amazingly full, this guy is for you. His texture is amazing and soft but still firm and very realistic.
Published:
Pros:
Very big (for people wanting that), soft to the point of silk when slicked up.
Cons:
Weak suction cup.
Rating by reviewer:
4
somewhat useful review

Use

Vaginally, or anally, this guy is very thick and very long, so go slowly with plenty of preparation and with lots of lube. This dildo is NOT for beginners and I seriously don't recommend this guy if you are just starting out. Make sure you and your partner take it easy with this guy, slow down, slow waaaaaaay down, relax, maybe play with some other toys first, loosen yourself up and just focus on enjoying yourself. If you push too much, or focus solely on getting this guy inside, you're just setting yourself up to fail which is am all around bad time.
  • Who / How / What
    [ ? ]
    Who might this product be best for? How is it best used? What are the best circumstances or situations for using this product?
    • Couples
    • Everyone
    • Solo
  • Where
    [ ? ]
    Where / what types of places can this product be used?
    • Anywhere
    • Campus/roommate living
  • Body / part areas
    [ ? ]
    What areas on the body can this product be used / what areas does it stimulate best?
    • Anal

Material / Texture

It feels very realistic with a soft texture that feels really nice. While I don't recommend this guy for beginners at all, his texture could almost justify grabbing him up. In the end, I advise newbies to grab a much smaller dildo with the same material. It has an almost floral smell that's very mild, so it's not that noticeable and will probably reduce over time. The taste is also floral, just a hint away from having a kind of perfume flavor. It's not exactly pleasant, but it's light enough to get over it pretty quickly. A couple of washes and maybe he'll lose that smell.
    • Light odor
    • So smooth and soft and nice
    • Porous

Design / Shape / Size

It has a decent design that's pretty dang realistic, but the curve of it is a little odd though. You better believe this guy is huge and you better have some experience with some sizable dildos. It's not discreet in the slightest, but really what did you expect?
    • Jesus take the wheel
    • Partner play
    • Realistic

Performance

The "skin" feels utterly amazing. For people who like a really big stretch, they will enjoy this guy immensely. It takes a lot of time to get used to his girth, but at a certain point he slims down a bit. Inside, he feels pretty dang big, but not quite like you're being impaled. As for the suction cup, this dildo has a good heft to him, so don't expect miracles. The poor cup will probably wear out quickly with vigorous play.
    • Not discreet at all

Care and Maintenance

This guy is expensive and if that isn't reason enough to take good care of him, I don't know what is. This UR3 material is only compatible with water-based lubes, but I prefer water-based one anyway. Watch out for dust! It's a pretty good idea to keep him safely contained. You could probably store him in the bag he comes with and that should keep him nice and pristine. Take caution with using soap.
    • Just handle him with care

Packaging

This guy came with good instructions and an autograph from the man behind the monster himself. If you want to use the box as a gag gift sort of thing, go right ahead -- hilarious all around. I highly suggest using his boxes and bags for storing him, it will keep the dust off pretty well. The other pretty cloth bag that comes with him is really too small to think of as proper storage.
    • Not discreet
    • Very informative
    • Good for storage

Personal comments

This dildo is BIG. Some people won't like it and that's fine. Size isn't for anyone, especially with girth like that. Use lots of lube, work him in slowly, taking your time and you'll have a ball. If you are curious, start out small and work your way up. Good luck!
    • Big
    • Huge
    • Lovely skin

Experience

The first try is the hardest. This guy stretches and stretches inside and you can really feel his mass. It's a very full feeling, almost to the point of being uncomfortable. Definitely take it slowly for a better experience. I absolutely love his material.
    • Monster dick
    • Slow it down
    • Almost silky and very nice
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This review was edited by
  • Wicked Wahine Wicked Wahine
  • Rank:
     
    5.9
  • Edited reviews: 555
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Comments
  • Wicked Wahine
    Wicked Wahine  
    Your "Jesus take the wheel" tag is hilarious! I have a question though...why do you say to be careful with using soap? You should explain that in the review.

    I also recommend you always check the product page and go to where they list the material and you will notice it's highlighted in pink. When you click on it, the info box pops up telling you all about the material and its care, such as what lubes are safe to use with it and whether or not it's porous.
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