Raped by an Octopus: A Survivor's Tale

If you want a positive glass dildo experience, it might be worth going for a more simple design with a heavier, higher quality glass.
It's a unique design for a glass dildo.
It disappoints on all levels: function, aesthetic and sensation.
Rating by reviewer:
useful review
Pipedream made a real pipenightmare!

This was a toy that I pined for. I patiently sat by the mailbox, lube in hand, ready to love it...and then when it arrived... boy, what a let down.

The entire Icicles line of handblown glass massagers had such beautiful marketing and packaging that one couldn't help but be mislead into thinking this was going to be an exotic, one-of-kind pleasure piece...but like an ugly, underwater bait-n-switch, it was nothing more than a light, colorless, cheap glass novelty that went straight into storage.

The color is no where as saturated as it is in all of the photography- and while I'm not one to refuse a toy a try because of color, it was almost a surprise, and I thought I had received the wrong color because it's a milky-pink at best. So, bummer.

The toy, in comparison to the others in the line, was supposed to be one of the larger pieces, and while its girth is substantial, I was surprised at how small it was in person. Not to mention very lightweight and lacking a lot of what I like in heavy glass pieces. Double bummer.

...And then the cool detail and ridges and bumps that should leave you with the feeling of being pleasured by a kinky, soft, mer-man squid-paw was a joke. The details were equally small in distinction and got lost in all of my soft tissue and nerves. It had about as much variety internally as a french tickler condom. Triple bummer... enough.

I washed it off and played with the idea of making it a paperweight for a while, but after the high expectations and the subsequent let down, I was so off-put by this toy (and a little betrayed), I tucked it away. Now it will only see the light of day if I need an "alternative" weapon in a post-apocalyptic civil war to creep out the opposition with.
This content is the opinion of the submitting contributor and is not endorsed by EdenFantasys.com
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My Icicles No. 24 tags
  • Who / How / What
    [ ? ]
    Who might this product be best for? How is it best used? What are the best circumstances or situations for using this product?
    • Can be worn during masturbation
    • Masturbation
    • Temperature play
  • Where
    [ ? ]
    Where / what types of places can this product be used?
    • Anywhere
  • Body / part areas
    [ ? ]
    What areas on the body can this product be used / what areas does it stimulate best?
    • Anal
    • G-spot
This review was edited by
  • Kindred Kindred
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Do you like this review?
  • MzGreenEyedLady
  • Septimus
    A good perspective to keep in mind when considering this toy. Thanks.
  • teslajambox
    Not just an awful review but a rape joke? Seriously? Do you seriously not care about triggering people on what's supposed to be a sex-positive site?
  • bog
    I like the phrase "pipenightmare".
  • samanthas
    Thanks for the review--I enjoyed it
  • sexy711
    Thanks for the review
  • LoneOokami
    Thanks for the review.
  • Phosphorous Tick
    Phosphorous Tick  
    what a shame i've heard so many good things about it- sorry it wasn't for you
  • Missy27
    Witty review.
  • markwashere
    Interesting review
  • fireholly99
    What a shame.
  • Virgingasms
    Sorry it was disappointing, I wonder if you got a product from a bad batch or something? Mine isn't lacking in color or anything. I guess it's subjective, better luck nex time!
  • LuLu-Pop
    Nice review
  • Bme
  • SydneyScreams
    Thanks for the review!! Love your humorous writing
  • GirlOnGirl
    Thanks for your review!
  • Pia Jouet
    Pia Jouet  
    Mine was the same color as the website and is chock full of texture. I don't use it much, but it sure is interesting to look at. Too bad you didn't like it.
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