Eros ejaculator - realistic vibrator by Lady Calston - review by Nashville

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Eros ejaculator

Realistic vibrator by Lady Calston

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PVC Material Properties
Educational | edenfantasys.com
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It's NOT a squirter!

You have to give credit where credit is due. With all the vibrators and dildos that are now on the market, they've really helped to fill the void of an actual penis, and some have gone above and beyond the real thing. But what's the one thing they can't do? Think about it; with all the lifelike textures, all the pumping and thrusting actions, what's the one thing they really seem to lack? The ability to ejaculate.
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Rating by reviewer:
1
extremely useful review
You have to give credit where credit is due. With all the vibrators and dildos that are now on the market, they’ve really helped to fill the void of an actual penis, and some have gone above and beyond the real thing. But what’s the one thing they can’t do? Think about it; with all the lifelike textures, all the pumping and thrusting actions, what’s the one thing they really seem to lack? The ability to ejaculate.

Let me start off by saying that this is a big vibrator. You really have to be a size queen in order to appreciate this. Unfortunately, I’m not. I like to stay around six inch lengths and four and a half inch circumferences; the Eros Ejaculator measures in at a whopping eight inches long with a five and a half inch circumference. That’s a HUGE dick! In text, it might not read big, but when you’re actually holding this in your hands contemplating on whether or not you’ll be able to slide it inside of you, it will make you physically tremble with apprehension.

The vibe is another creation from Lady Calston, the makers of the Tongue|The tongue vibrator by Lady Calston. Unfortunately, a lot of the complaints about Lady Cal products are that they’re unnecessarily large and loud. This vibrator was both. The motor on this bad boy was audible to my husband who was downstairs when I was upstairs in the bedroom. All hopes of being discreet went out the window as soon as I turned this on. It was so loud I expected some serious vibrations, but what I felt was lackluster. The shaft barely wiggled, it promised six distinct vibration settings, but I couldn’t really discern one from the other.

A big downside to the Eros Ejaculator is that it’s a hard plastic vibrator with a highly textured PVC sleeve. The hard raised veins coupled with the size of this vibrator made insertion uncomfortable. Looking at the pretty hot pink sleeve, it seems thick enough, but it didn’t have enough padding, and I could feel the hard plastic vibrator through it.

I’m going to touch on the most important feature, the ability for this vibrator to ejaculate. Don’t hold your breath. The first time I pressed the climax button, I didn’t feel anything and couldn’t tell if anything had happened. I was a little confused as to why it didn’t seem to be working so I pulled the vibrator out and walked into my bathroom. I suctioned more water into it and hit the “climax” button right into the sink. It barely squirted. When I think of ejaculation, I think of a hot virile guy shooting a load, and what this vibrator did was, well, nothing like that at all. It let out a limp, lame, thin stream of water that lasted maybe three seconds.

Unfortunately, this product was nothing more than big hype. I was excited to try this too because I’ve never had a toy that could ejaculate before, but the end result was just sad.
Follow-up commentary
Ugh. I was told recently that I'm a very positive and bubbly person, that when there are lemons I can easily make lemonade. But how do you turn the Eros Ejaculator into lemonade? Well ... in my case, you don't. It's easy for me to dislike this; from it's bulky size to it's almost greasy and plasticy feeling sleeve, it has been a toy that I've tried at all costs to avoid. But what kind of reviewer would I be if I never tried it again? A smart one probably! I brought it back out the other day intending to give it another go. I was so turned on and thought that a big, beefy vibrator would satisfy my hunger. Unfortunately, this vibrator didn't satisfy me- it annoyed me and it hurt me! It was painful to insert, the size of it coupled with the textured sleeve made penetration an impossibility. To make matters worse it was so loud I could hear it over the DVD I had put in, I had to literally turn the TV up as loud as it could go to drown the whirring of the vibrator's motor out. It killed my sexual high, if I had a dick it would have gone instantly limp from trying to use this. There is no positive spin to put on this toy. When you're handed lemons just accept that you won't be making any lemonade and go out and grab yourself a glass of sweet tea instead!
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.
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Comments
  • Nashville
    Nashville  
    Also, as this is PVC I just don't feel comfortable trying to insert this into my body without putting a condom on it. However, putting a condom on this toy defeats it's purpose of ejaculating like a real cock. It's a conundrum but I'd take safety over novelty any day.
  • Jana
    Got one; EXACT same experience. Sad. I'm dissecting it in the name of science.
  • Nashville
    Nashville  
    Jana, tell me how it goes!!! :)
  • Nashville
    Nashville  
    Any questions about the Eros?
  • Fallyn
    Fallyn  
    Thanks for the review. I was all sorts of excited to try this as I love the feeling of ejaculation. I'm glad I read your review. I think I'll pass on this toy and look for another.
  • petite-n-sweet
    petite-n-sweet  
    A squirter that does not Squirt??? Blasphemy!!!
  • Lavender*Moon
    Lavender*Moon  
    Thanks for the review. I was so excited when I saw this. Thank god for reviews or I would have wasted a lot of money.
  • lamira
    lamira  
    Great review, thanks!!
  • HouseWench
    HouseWench  
    Aw, what a shame. There're so few good-looking ejaculating toys out there!
  • zandria
    zandria  
    Great review!
  • Red Riding Hood
    Red Riding Hood  
    I don't think they'll ever come out with a realistically squirting dildo. Which is sad because that sounds awesome, but never seems to work. Thanks for the warning/review!
  • Shellz31
    Shellz31  
    Ohhh that totally sux. I got all excited to find a squirting toy that wasn't rubber. PVC probably isn't much better but I still got excited.
    I'm not worried about the size - I'm a size queen. But it not squirting is a real downer - especially for the highish price

    Great review and you have saved me wasting my money!

    PS.... Doc Johnson is coming out with a silicone squirting realistic dildo in the future some time!
  • biggieaddict
    biggieaddict  
    My interest in ejaculating toys is less that they "jac" and more the potential for on-the-fly relubing, esp for the thinner lubes whose film breaks down or is absorbed quickly.

    Toy designers are you listening?

    The major cons for any such product are complicating the design and introducing major issues concerning sanitizing the device, even for silicone toys.
  • GTXecutive
    GTXecutive  
    Sorry it was lackluster!
  • LilLostLenore
    LilLostLenore  
    nice review, and ya i like a fat squirt too.
  • LuciFaery
    LuciFaery  
    It's really too bad that it didn't work as well as advertised. I was really interested in this, but I may leave it considering the price and the fact that it doesn't really squirt.
  • bumblebeemouth
    bumblebeemouth  
    It looks like a great idea, but from your review it's poorly executed. What a shame.
  • ddd masturbator(bye all!)
    ddd masturbator(bye all!)  
    Awesome review!! I have been interested in an ejaculating vibrator, but I now know I can rule this one out. Thank you
  • RomanticGoth
    RomanticGoth  
    Love the idea. Too bad this one stinks. Thanks for sharing.
  • Terri69
    Terri69  
    Thanks for a great review!
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