The amazing squirting cock - realistic dildo discontinued by Doc Johnson - review by transboy

Obviously, the main novelty of this toy is the ejaculating pump, but to be honest, I haven't even tried using it yet. After having half of the tube/pump mechanism detach itself as I simply lifted the toy out of the box, I don't really have too much confidence in the ejaculation aspect of Squirt. Besides, judging from several other reviews of this product, even when everything is attached it's still very difficult and fiddly to prepare. Just to clarify: I don't think that my Squirt is broken or defective or anything like that, it just seems far too fiddly to get working and stay attached during a masturbation session.

This toy can be used anally, vaginally and/or orally, although I've only used it anally. The large balls at the base of this toy provide the necessary flaring, making it definitely suitable for anal play--I'd like to see someone lose this toy up their arse!

The length and girth of the Squirt both make it probably a bit too big for use by beginners to anal play. Even as someone with a bit of experience, I find that Squirt is big enough that I still need to use something else (such as the Bootie, or Ryder) for a warm-up before trying to use it.

My first impression of this toy was the smell. As soon as I opened the box, there was the same plastic-y smell that had turned me off using the Titanmen trainer tool No. 4 (made from PVC and "Sil-a-Gel"). Although I've washed this toy a number of times now the smell has not faded, and it is strong enough that it definitely leaves me reluctant to use this toy.

One definite positive aspect of this toy is that it looks highly realistic (even to an almost-disturbing extent). The detailed colouring, clearly defined head and raised veins along the shaft make it appear incredibly realistic. Although I personally have nothing against realistically textured and shaped toys, I know that some people may have a problem with how real this toy looks. The only thing which detracts from this is the odd shiny coating on the Squirt, which makes it look like a penis dipped in varnish.

I can't say whether or not Squirt feels realistic (I don't really have any experience in that department), but overall it is relatively firm, with a slightly squishy outer layer over a firmer core.

This toy is big. It's definitely the widest toy I've ever used, and it takes me quite a lot of stretching and preparation to be able to get it in. I do appreciate a challenge, though, and once it's in it definitely feels good. Overall I am happy with the size and shape of the Squirt, but it's big enough that I don't use it frequently (mostly because of the time it takes me to prepare for it!).


As a result of being so very realistic in appearance, Squirt is clearly not a discreet toy. I can't think of any way in which you'd be able to explain it as being something other than a dildo, but if you find yourself in such a scenario, then good luck!

A number of reviews on this site complain about the difficulty of assembling the Squirt's ejaculation pump, and the fact that it fell apart just from me touching it has made me unwilling to even attempt this. This is quite disappointing, as it was probably the key novelty which drove me to request the Squirt for review.

Apart from my disappointment with the ejaculation pump and the unpleasant, headache-inducing smell of the Squirt, this toy performs very well as a simple intermediate-level dildo. I also enjoyed experimenting with the suction cup on the base of the toy - it held the Squirt up very well.

Squirt is made from rubber, which is a porous material and therefore is rather difficult to clean. I would recommend using a condom over this toy before inserting it into yourself, just to be on the safe side (it also minimises on clean-up). The EdenFantasys Guide to Materials recommends using silicone- or water-based lubes with this and other rubber toys.

Squirt is fairly easy to clean; you can use an antibaterial toy cleaner, or some antibacterial soap and water. After drying it, I store my Squirt in the fabric bag that it came with (this also had the added benefit of stopping some of the plastic-y smell from escaping into the rest of my bedroom).