Inflatable emperor - realistic dildo by Cal Exotics - review by skeetm

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The Emperor is a basic, serviceable inflatable toy. Not much else.

There's really not much to this toy. If it performed as expected, it would have been something, but as it stands, it doesn't really do much for anyone. It isn't useful for size training and the lack of flexibility makes it a sub-standard dildo. Definitely not worth the price
Impressive size
Realistic texture
Easy to use.
Material is questionable
Releases air too easily
Easy to damage
Rating by reviewer:
extremely useful review


This toy is made for a single purpose. It can be used for insertions and, when inserted or before, it will expand. It is not a vibrator. If you enjoy something that starts as one size and can be changed to a slightly different size, you will enjoy this. Beyond a suction cup on the bottom, there are no other real features to this toy. The pump is easy to use and can be operated by either the user or an assistant. You could use this product in gender play and, in that, it is actually pretty realistic.
  • Who / How / What
    [ ? ]
    Who might this product be best for? How is it best used? What are the best circumstances or situations for using this product?
    • Everyone
    • Gender play
    • Solo
  • Where
    [ ? ]
    Where / what types of places can this product be used?
    • Anywhere
    • Tub/shower/pool
  • Body / part areas
    [ ? ]
    What areas on the body can this product be used / what areas does it stimulate best?
    • Anal
    • Kegels
    • P-spot

Material / Texture

The packaging does not mention anything about the materials used, but it does display the words "novelty only." After a little web surfing I was able to determine it is made using Phthalate-free, non-toxic materials: PVC. The texture is very similar to a large human penis with veins and wrinkles, but the material quickly removes that illusion. The head and scrotum portions of the Emperor are hard solid rubbery material, and the shaft is fairly flexible and pliant. It comes out of the package slimy and seems to maintain that feeling even after frequent washing.

The inflation hose is standard surgical tubing, and the pump appears to be rubber with a grid texture along parts of it. Fairly standard inflatable pump.
    • Flexible
    • Sticky
    • Strong odor

Design / Shape / Size

The shape is actually one of the most pleasing and realistic parts of this toy. It looks like a fairly realistic dildo with testicles. If it were more flexible and would bend in the middle, it would look very much like a semi-erect Caucasian. But I hope that is what you are looking for because there are no other options I could see for color.

The size is 7 1/2" long, or from 5 1/2" long from the base of the testicles, with a circumference around the shaft of around 5". If you follow the instructions of 4 pumps maximum the length doesn't change at all and the circumference changes to only slightly larger than its initial 5". In fact, it takes closer to 8 pumps before the size starts to noticeably change. But, according to the warning sticker, you are then in danger of causing tearing or cracking of the inner bladder. Hardly something you want to hear.

You could travel with this device, but it is not discreet and the packaging does not look sturdy enough for frequent packing and unpacking.
    • Partner play
    • Realistic


If you want something that will perform as a disembodied penis that you can attach to a smooth surface and inflate a small amount then this is for you. This toy is definitely a shower and not a grower. Unlike a lot of inflatable toys it doesn't have any kind of rigid support inside. It's very flexible when it is soft and still flexible when it is tumescent. This could actually cause a problem if you are trying to fit it into a tight space where a little more stiffness would be required.

The pump is problematic because the check valve starts dumping air almost immediately. And even if you stay within the recommended inflation range it seems like the air escapes. I'm not sure if this is a quality assurance issue, or just the way it was made. It is also fairly noisy when the pump is being used.

Really the biggest issue with this toy is its unimpressive performance. Based on the packaging, you would expect this to be your go-to device no matter what size you're looking for, but it just fails to live up to that. It doesn't work as a trainer because it starts off large and stays right there.
    • Easy to use
    • Not discreet at all
    • Not enough variety

Care and Maintenance

Cleaning will be a frequent event when you first start using this toy. The smell and oily feeling take a while to go away. The Emperor appears to be non-porous, but it has a lot of ridges and texture, so be careful to clean it properly. It is compatible with water-based lubes, and you can also use condoms easily. Not knowing for sure what the material is, and having no care instructions to work with, I would not recommend oil based lubrication.

For storage, you need to make sure it isn't kept where it will get grimy, as it seems like it could attract particles easily, and you have to store it in a way where there won't be any tension on the hose or pump. The connection of the hose to where it enters the device in the testicles seems sturdy, but I don't think it would survive too much tension or bending. Especially since the inner bladder seems to be so fragile.
    • Hard to clean
    • High maintenance


The packaging is a hanging box with a picture and title front and center. It looks like it was a hanging box and does not have any clear holes or windows to show the product inside. The Emperor itself came in two plastic bags. One went over the penis portion, and is liberally coated on the inside with oil, and the other bag holds the penis, pump and hose. I would not recommend using the package for long-term storage.

The box has a description, although it is incorrect, with no instructions. There is a sticker loose inside the box with a warning about over-inflation. There are no actual instructions as to its use, care or storage.

You could easily fold the hanger portion of the box over for gift wrapping.
    • Minimal
    • Minimal instructions
    • Not discreet

Personal comments

Honestly, this is really kind of a disappointing toy. I think it shows promise in that it starts to feel like a hardening penis when you pump it, but it doesn't have the capacity or rigidity to really feel like one. I think this might actually be best used in some gender play to show increased excitement, but you would have to hold it in your hand to know it's changing size.
    • Disappointing
    • Novelty
    • Underwhelming


With the Emperors large initial size, you have to be careful when inserting. And if you do need to squeeze it in, the flexibility creates a problem. It doesn't take much force at all to have it bend one way or the other. Once you have it inserted, the increase in size isn't very noticeable. Beyond that it functions as a dildo. You can move it around, but it doesn't do much beyond that. The texture causes some nice sensations, but the lack of vibration makes it fairly boring.

The suction cup on the end actually works rather well on a smooth surface and is enough to keep it secure even on a vertical surface. Although on a vertical surface the flexibility and bending leads to it falling off more often.

I have had a decent amount of fun using the Emperor under my jeans as a false phallus, although keeping it in place is difficult. It is an impressive size even when not inflated and stands out, but it is not really discreet.
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.
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  • charmedtomeetyou
    Thanks for the review!
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