Allegro - dildo sex toy by Orion - review by Darling Jen

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Allegro

Glass dildo by Orion

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The Pussy-Grater!

So I don't know if you can tell already but I was not much pleased with this dildo when it came to actually using it in my 'happy place'. The texture is just not for me, which is really a bummer because I love glass and I do love the general shape of this piece. But those ripples just don't do it for me (except maybe my feet).
Published:
Pros:
Happy feet?
Cons:
It's a cheese-grater in dildo form
Rating by reviewer:
2
extremely useful review
So if you know me or my previous reviews, then you know that I don't seem to have a high success rate with glass toys. The good news with this one? It is exactly what it appears to be in the pictures. The bad news? Well, to put it rather bluntly, it feels like a cheese-grater. I know, I know, it's a horrible image to have when it comes to inserting something into your pussy. So I do want to put a disclaimer on this that this is how the toy worked for me and only me and it doesn't mean it might not work for someone else. Ok, got it? Then let's go.

First, this is glass. Pretty standard glass, at that. It's not flawless but it's solid and didn't arrive with any imperfections that would compromise its safety or lifespan. The material is wonderful, as I've previously covered in many of my other glass toy reviews. It can be warmed, chilled, and sterilized. It can be used with any lubricant, in any orifice (though there's no safety base for anal play so be careful!), and washed in any way you see it. Yup, pretty awesome. Just be careful with it because it is very hard and will hurt if you drop it on your feet or will damage your porcelain sink if dropped during cleaning. Also, don't thrust too hard, ok?

Second thing you will notice about this toy is the texture. And oh does it have texture! Texture and a half! With a side of fries and a bag o' chips! If you don't like texture, this is your exit point. If you do like texture (or at least think you do), then please stay tuned!

So I had been thinking about writing this review for quite some time in order to come up with adequate comparisons for this unique texture. I wish I had a way of letting everyone feel how extreme it was! But since I don't, I had to settle for words. So it's not that the ridges are that high or that they're sharp. And it's not that the grooves in them are deep or widely spaced. But, my dears, they are not to be underestimated. Since they are aligned to be perpendicular to your body when inserted (meaning they are not moving in the direction of the thrusts), they are exponentially more effective. There is almost no slope to them like the ripples found in some juicers. Think: rumble strips on the side of the highway! They look like small dents that would just create a slight vibration or distraction but when you drive over them it's "Oh my god! I'm being shot at!"

But instead of making this toy loud, it just makes it feel like it's grating my insides. (Insert wincing face here.) My only way of using it for any level of enjoyment was inserting it and only moving it in very small, careful movements and with plenty of lubricant. What I really wish for this toy is for the ripples to be slightly angled to the side in a diagonal so there's less grating and more juicing.

The other aspect of this toy is the shape. Ignoring the ridges, you can suddenly see this glass piece is curved. Actually, I love the shape. It's easy to keep a grip on and helps me reach my ever-so-difficult-but-oh-so-wonderful G-spot! If only those ripples didn't take away from those curves.

As far as the packaging goes, I'm currently keeping mine in a separately purchased padded pouch (say that 5 times fast!). And I've owned this toy for quite some time so the original packaging it came in as long since disappeared. So I won't even pretend I remember it at this point. But I will say that it's super duper easy to care for your glass toys! It won't warp, deform, stain, or carry smells. So whatever works for you will be find for Ripply-Grater/Rumble-Strip Dildo here.

As a last minute redeeming feature for this dildo, which I think earns it a whopping 2-stars, is that you can always use some massage oil and rub this up and down the sore back of your work weary partner. Honestly, I've gotten more pleasure out of this dildo putting it on the floor and rubbing my feet over it in a rolling motion. (Who knew that what wasn't good for the pussy may be good for the feet?!)
This content is the opinion of the submitting contributor and is not endorsed by EdenFantasys.com
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Comments
  • Lucidity
    Lucidity  
    I still want this crazy, ribbed beast! Great review, though. And hey, a good foot massage is noting to sneeze at
  • exploringthechimera
    exploringthechimera  
    I just added this to my wishlist before reading your review. I'm now rethinking that decision. I normally love textured but may have to stay way from this one. Thank you.
  • Waterfall
    Waterfall  
    Sorry you didn't like the Allegro, but your review was VERY entertaining lol. I have this one and I really like it, I just know it is not for everyone.
  • Pixel
    Pixel  
    *crosses legs* Oh dear gods. I think my vagina just tried to retract even further into my body after reading this review. I'm going to take a pass on this toy, but thank you for taking one for the team?
  • v23
    v23  
    Wow. Not sure about this one. Thanks for the review though!
  • lexical
    lexical  
    Yikes! Thank you so much for your review! lol
  • Shellz31
    Shellz31  
    I've often thought about getting this, but the straightness of it always prevented it going in my cart.
    Have to say the idea of a cheese grater will continue to keep this out of my orders....hehehe.

    Great review
  • Linga
    Linga  
    LOL! Cheese grater, that's gold! I love the look of this toy but I don't think I'll be getting it now
  • Darling Jen
    Darling Jen  
    Thank you everyone for your comments! Yeah it's definitely an "experience" with this toy. And I know that it works well for some people but my lady bits were personally very sore after playing with this guy. He is a massage-use only glass piece for me.
  • Ivy Wilde
    Ivy Wilde  
    Thanks for the review. Loved your comparison to the rumble bumps on the side of the highway.
  • acessorie
    acessorie  
    Good to know! I will put it at the bottom of my list lol
  • LuciFaery
    LuciFaery  
    The extreme texture of this toy has had me staying away, and now I don't think I'll spend the money on it. Thank you for the review!
  • ~LaUr3n~
    ~LaUr3n~  
    HAHA wow~! i would totally not like this either. Thanks for the review!
  • DixieDoo
    DixieDoo  
    thanks for the warning!
  • Love Perpetua
    Love Perpetua  
    Great review! I think this would be too much for me too!
  • Stinkytofu10
    Stinkytofu10  
    fantastic review, thanks for trying to describe the texture and perpendicular alignment of the ridges!
  • ToyGeek
    ToyGeek  
    I really liked this toy, although granted only sometimes -- the body isn't always in the mood for texture. However, I did use another toy with texture I didn't like so much as a back massager, and it felt awesome, so thanks for that tip.
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