Neptune's penis - realistic dildo vibrator by Cal Exotics - review by Randy Midnight

Neptune's penis - realistic dildo vibrator Realistic dildo vibrator by Cal Exotics
Purchase details
Neptune's penis

Traditional vibrator by Cal Exotics

Select Color:
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Our Price:$16.99

Requires:
Add AA batteries 4pack for $3.99
 

 
 
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Up for a LITTLE fun?

Since it falls into my beloved "under $20 category," I have to pay the Neptune's Penis its dues. The strong vibration and smooth durable waterproof housing is perfect for any curious person in need of a cheap date. If only the knob was a little better...
Published: April 21, 2010
Pros:
Cheap and strong.
Cons:
You're getting what you pay for.
Rating by reviewer:
4
useful review

Use

I would highly recommend this tool to any snug novice not ready to commit to an expensive oversized vibrator. The Neptune is also a great way for anyone to get warmed up for the real thing. The motor is located at the tip of the slim shaft, which helps this powerful little guy get into those hard to reach places.
  • Who / How / What
    [ ? ]
    Who might this product be best for? How is it best used? What are the best circumstances or situations for using this product?
    • Couples
    • Everyone
    • Gag gift
  • Where
    [ ? ]
    Where / what types of places can this product be used?
    • Anywhere
    • Campus/roommate living
    • Tub/shower/pool
  • Features
    [ ? ]
    What kind of features does this product offer?
    • Travel friendly
  • Body / part areas
    [ ? ]
    What areas on the body can this product be used / what areas does it stimulate best?
    • All over body
    • Anal
    • Clitoris

Material / Texture

I was surprised when I opened the package to find a very very hard piece of plastic. For being made of jelly (PVC) this machine is not at all jelly-like. But don't get me wrong! Even though it is hard and veined, the overall texture is smooth, so it is still quite comfortable.
    • Light odor
    • Rigid
    • Smooth

Design / Shape / Size

Because of its less than grand stature, the vibrator leaves very little room for a grip. The slippery cap to the battery compartment often becomes the handle and therefore you run the risk of losing power in the middle of a session.
    • Beginner

Functions / Performance / Controls

Unfortunately for the manufacturer and me, the dial controller for the vibrator broke almost immediately after our first use. The dial no longer goes through its gradient of variable intensity, it just skips straight to full on (and its strong!). I hate to condemn the sale of this product over just one faulty controller but if I'm writing an honest review, this is the way it has to be.
    • Easy to use
    • Powerful

Care and Maintenance

Even though the hardness of this product is much like other nonporous materials, it is made of PVC. IT CAN NOT BE STERILIZED. So please, for the safety of you and your partner, if you are sharing this toy or going anywhere near your back door, put a jacket on it! Although this product is waterproof, be careful of getting water into the controller; the mechanical parts are metal and they will rust.
    • Easy to store
    • Hard to clean

Experience

Even though the dial broke, my partner and I still have a lot of fun playing with this little Hercules. She enjoys using it to dilate herself so that initial insertion is more comfortable. We also like to do DP with it because of its modest girth and safe insertable length. I highly recommend this vibrator to any one looking for a cheap new toy!
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.
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About author
Randy Midnight
Reviewed by Randy Midnight (Eden Advanced reviewer) An ass connoisseur with a PhD in pussy.
Rank
 
5.5
wrote 16 reviews
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Comments
Gardenvy (verified)

Good review Randy Midnight!
I noticed that you said that this toy can't be sterilized but you may want to add how it can be washed. That's a very important part of the review and I would have marked it somewhat useful except for the fact that you noted that this toy can not be sterilized.
Thanks for the review.

04/22/2010
Tori Rebel (verified)

Nice review! One question - since it's made of PVC, does it have any smell to it like a lot of jelly toys do?

04/22/2010
Sammi (verified)

Thanks for the review!

04/23/2010
Randy Midnight (verified)

Sorry for the miscommunication. Yes, you can wash the toy! (Just like you can wash your hands, this does not guarantee that desease or infection will not be spread.) Just be careful. For Tori, It had a new car smell when we got it but because it is a very hard polymer, the odor was gone in just a few rinses. Thanks for your comments everyone, they are very helpful!!

05/02/2010
Eden C. (verified)

Great review! Thanks!

02/26/2011
lamira (verified)

Good review, thanks!!

03/01/2011
thrill (verified)

Hm. I think there's better cheap vibrators. Sucks that this one broke so easily.

03/31/2011
Faust (verified)

Nice review!

10/31/2011
LM (verified)

Nice review!

10/31/2011
Tbanda (verified)

Appreciate great review!

11/10/2011
mudpie (verified)

Thanks for the review!

12/10/2011
neon (verified)

good review!

12/11/2011
Allstars316 (verified)

Thanks for the review!

Mar 19, 8:55 am
comatose-kitty (verified)

"you're getting what you pay for" considering the price...i don't like the sound of that.

May 11, 6:27 pm
Forum
  • Pretty Pink Vibrating Dong compared to the Neptune's Vibrating Penis?
    • How does the Pretty Pink Vibrating Dong compare to the Neptune's Vibrating Penis?

      I'm looking to get my sister her first toy ever. Her husband is over seas in Iraq with the army and she has never had or used a vibrator. I myself have had one since I was 18 but even with my own first toy I was never good a picking one out. I've searched and decided its either the vibrating dong or vibrating penis. Any idea as to which is the best to get for a first timer??
    • Don't buy a cheap jelly toy that may cause her to have a reaction. Get her a nice silicone vibe like the Roulette series.
    • I have to agree with Gun. I wouldn't buy anyone Jelly. It isn't really all that body safe, it usually smells funny, it can't be thoroughly cleaned and a lot of people even have reactions to the chemicals it is made with.

      Silicone is the best choice for a first phallic vibrator. The Roulette series is nice, as are the higher priced Fun Factory toys. The Galan was a nice toy to start with. I think it may not be made anymore.

      The Ellove is a nice toy, and stronger than the Horoscope series vibrators made by Fun Factory. Here's a link to the Fun Factory toys, if you buy her a good quality toy, it will be a better experience. link
    5 posts Read all
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    Category: Vibrators 
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