This toy was definitely designed
What to say, what to say…I am sure I can find something positive about this product if only I think about it longer…oh! I’ve got a positive feature! It comes in an extremely small bottle so I won’t feel like I’m wasting much when I throw it away!
Seriously, I hated this stuff. I should have known; “sold as a novelty only” is printed right on the little tube. Let me tell you about the “oh so lovely” ingredients in this (yes you detected sarcasm there, I am so trying to have some fun with this product). In this order: DI Water, Alcohol (obviously not the right kind to make this fun), Glycerin (yeast infection anyone?), Carbomer 940, Menthol, Tetrahydroxypropyl Ethylenediamine (what ever the heck that is), Aspartame (no wonder it tastes so bad), Artificial Flavor, FD&C Red #40.
Okay, having menthol in it, it should at least do something right? The packaging says “Minty fresh taste and tingly sensation perfect for any erogenous zone.” What? Burn my clit off? Okay! Obviously by “any erogenous zone” what they really mean is anything besides your clit, labia, or penis. I would have liked some tingling on my nipples, but alas, that is the only place that didn’t feel like exfoliating with a wire brush then coating it with a cayenne pepper paste. I felt nothing on my nipples! I tried it on my husband, and he said he felt a cooling sensation when it was blown on. So I licked the other “hell-gel free” nipple and then blew on it…yeah it had the same effect. Blowing on something wet usually feels cool.
I thought (stupidly) to myself, “heck it doesn’t do anything on my nipples, I might as well try it on my clit!” It only took a pea-sized drop a couple seconds before I started screaming in pain. My “oh so loving” hubby started laughing at me. I guess he thought I was trying to be funny or something. I washed it off my clit as fast as I could possibly manage. With a little smirk on my face I asked him “would you like to try it honey?” He said “okay” (seriously thought I was over reacting), so I put two little pea sized drops on my fingers and gently rubbed it into his penis. “Ohhh, that’s not so…FUCK this shit hurts!” So I am no longer seen as a huge drama queen by my husband, just evil ;)
I had originally bought this for our 5th anniversary…so glad that I tried it out ahead of time. My little ½ ounce of “
Climax nipple gel” is now in the trash. Please don’t let this near your privates…I am begging you, don’t let "Satan’s gel" burn your clit too. I can think of only one person in this world to whom I would recommend this gel…and I won’t even bother telling you how much I “like” her as I am sure you understand.
You're welcome! Jalepenoes? talk about an ouchie! That had to have been very bad.
Sounds like an unfortunate event I had prepping jalepenos one evening... Thanks for the warning!
It really was some bad stuff. Although my husband now believes me when I say something hurts
Oh Ouch! Just reading this review made my clit burn with pain! Thank goodness I now know to steer clear of this one!
I might have to try the Sliquid Sizzle. I have tried warming, cooling, and tingling gels in the past, and believe me, none of them actually caused pain. I don’t remember the brand names for most of them (way too long ago, and not that memorable of products) but the warming stuff that I did actually like was Midnight Fire, although incredibly sticky. I think for this to not hurt, the person would have to have had a prior shot of local anesthetic to the area.
Not to defend what I'm sure is a horrible product...but...
I've noticed that some people seem particularly sensitive to these "tingling" or "warming" gels while others aren't. I wouldn't recommend them in any case, but probably not everyone would feel them quite this intensely.
I've had good results with Sliquid Sizzle...it's got a touch of menthol AND it's a very good lube too.
Yes, I know what you mean. lol There has been once where it would have been nice to have had this for "annoyance" control. lol CookieMonster suggested using this as a self defence product, kinda like mace. One squirt in the face of this stuff would probably be just as bad if not worse than mace would be, although I do not think testing it sounds like a good idea, at least not until someone tries to mug me. lol
Hahah...yikes...though I can think of a time or two when the 'never seeing the person again' quality might have come in handy...;)
Oh yes, this is only for serious torture. I couldn't bear the pain it was too intense, and touching makes it hurt even worse. If you tied someone up and rubbed this on them, you most likely wouldn't see that person again...ever. They would run screaming in fear when ever they saw you approaching holding that little pink tube. lol
Heh, great review, as always. Would you say this is even too intense for mild S&M play?
Glad you liked it, writing the review was the only fun I had with this product. I sure hope the other people who bought this read my review before they actually put it on their sensitive parts
LMAO.....I really like the fact that this so called "Hell Gel" is now sold out.............lol........ahhhh this review makes me laugh...I even shared it with my hubby.
Thanks for the comments everyone. I definitely think this should be sold as "Hell Gel" with the disclaimer "for serious torture only." Yes, it contains both alcohol and menthol, and I think it contains way too much of them. It is supposed to have a nice minty taste, but just tastes like menthol drops and burned my tongue.
Fun Lover, I wish I would have gotten my review out sooner and saved you the pain. Maybe there should be a "Hell Gel" survivor's club. lol
Grizli, thanks for the fix! This is the first product that I have tried that I felt deserved 0 stars. I hope I don't run across another one, but since I am determined to find a good arousal gel, I highly doubt that. lol Too bad the nipple delight is always sold out, I really want to try that one.
de-ja vu We had the same experience with this Hell Gel just wish I had seen your review before our purchase. Just wonder how many others have also been tortured. Great job with your review.
I think they should market it as "Hell Gel" and give you credit since you made up the name. There's got to be some S&M folks out there who like to apply stuff that burns to their (or their sub's) genetalia, right?
Ha. Sorry that it was so horrible... but that was an entertaining read!
lol...well if something intended to raise you to climax ends up burning....Id give it a big negative if I could. It must contain alcohol or a mint extract which makes it burn. Either that or you had a reaction of some sort.
I'm always so afraid when it comes to buying these gels....they all just seem like gimmicks to me....truly a product prescribed by a doctor will be anyones best bet.....we all just have to wait until they make something like this that actually works. Great review.
Fixed. We didn't anticipate the ratings as low as "0".
Bulma, we are looking at the rating problem right now. Thank you for pointing out.
I have noticed the "sold as a novelty only" a lot more on some of the cheaper brands, the high end toys actually seem to be lacking this message (or at least the ones that I have purchased). To me it's like they are actually saying "don't blame us if it doesn't work." I understand the whole legal issues though with the sales of sex toys. Even though I know why they put it on there, it still makes me a little wary.
I have really been wanting to try the nipple delight, but its always sold out! I will keep trying them though, eventually I will find one that works (or more likely I'll just give up and go on to other means of nipple stimulation).