Funky jelly vibrator by Cal Exotics - review by biggieaddict

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Are you experienced, brother? You'd better be.

You might be sore tomorrow, but if you can take this bull of a dong, you'll be happy. It is definitely an iconic sex toy.
Thick & mostly great shape!
Good vibe.
Too big for some.
Shape of head.
Firmness for size.
Rating by reviewer:
extremely useful review


Looking for a stretch (and I don't mean yoga)? This will give you a good start. It's a big vibe, not huge but definitely big. If you like your pleasure with a little pain, this one is for you. If you need to punish yourself for getting your rocks off—WHILE you are getting your rocks off—this one is for you. If you have a fetish for big pink things with veins, this one is for you. If you are new to thick toys or have a delicate ass, pussy, whatever, this one may make you wonder if you've made a mistake. Call it a size queen starter kit.

It is still a lot of fun and a fave of mine—my standard thickie warmup toy when I'm going to use something bigger.
  • Who / How / What
    [ ? ]
    Who might this product be best for? How is it best used? What are the best circumstances or situations for using this product?
    • Bachelor/ bachelorette party
    • Gag gift
    • Size queens !
  • Where
    [ ? ]
    Where / what types of places can this product be used?
    • Anywhere
    • Behind closed doors
    • Campus/roommate living
  • Features
    [ ? ]
    What kind of features does this product offer?
    • Nor discreet
    • Travel friendly not
  • Body / part areas
    [ ? ]
    What areas on the body can this product be used / what areas does it stimulate best?
    • Anal
    • G-spot
    • P-spot

Material / Texture

This is a typical jelly vibe with a medium-firm body that gets firmer with age, which seems to be a trend with jelly products. It was very heavily coated with a thin, oily substance—either a mold release oil or excess silicone oil or plasticizer that eventually washed away, though it reappears to a lesser extent after extended storage. It has an average odor that is noticeable but not overtly so, and it is less noticeable with use. As with all jellies, use a condom when sharing or switching orifices. It does have flex and, while not overly firm, it is not soft, and the girth amplifies that fact. You will feel every vein and change in diameter with this one. I'll add more to that below.

It lasted quite a while, but eventually the "skin" unsealed from the base, the base and vibe soon broke free, and the jelly filler cracked into chunks. Save the skin if this happens to yours; it fits over other vibes for more girth.
    • Flexible
    • Porous
    • Sticky

Design / Shape / Size

When I first broke this one out of the blister pack, I (almost) wanted to skip the usual prep and go for it. It was thick, and it has those great veins! Instead, I washed it off a few times, warmed it up, warmed myself up with another vibe, and added extra lube. It took a good while to get this one in, and I felt every inch—that is, inches of length AND diameter. I'll be upfront: this one hurt. In retrospect it was in a good way, but while I was playing the first few times, I was beginning to wonder. The main reason is the shape of the glans; it is wide and has a flaring coronal ridge with a small-radius edge followed by a deep groove. This is great once you are in. This vibe has the best "bloop!"* sensation of any I've tried, but that rim of the ridge concentrates pressure to a narrow ring inside your ass. Inside your ass, the pressure is already intense as the head is so wide. It wouldn't matter if this were a softer material, but there is definitely a period of adjustment.

Oddly, my Adam's PleasureSkin is wider at and behind the head, and it is a little firmer to the squeeze at the ridge; but size-wise, it is much easier to get in than this one. I think there is a less sharp drop off the ridge, and the PleasureSkin is smoother under lube, and the surface is a tad softer. The Adam is also thinner in the dorsal-to-ventral dimension, while this is a thick, round bull of a vibe.

Once it's in, or you've become used to the shape, this is a fun dong. It has a good vibe in it (though it is still on the quiet side, probably due to the egg being buried under 3/8" of jelly), and while it is wondrously thick, it has enough flex to stroke well. The veins add great texture you can feel, and you will definitely feel full.

It does NOT have a flared base, so don't get too carried away if you are using it for anal play.

The cleft in the head may make insertion a tiny bit more difficult, and it and the deep groove make it less easy to clean.

* I define the "bloop" as follows: It isn't just finally getting the dong in so you can slide down and start stroking. It's a sudden and sometimes breathtaking penetration for an inch or two caused by the sudden loss of the resistance supplied by a large head, compared to the shaft. It often happens even if you are prepared for it and have backed off the pressure.

Functions / Performance / Controls

It does have the usual coarse-thread dial base, which can be annoying. I've had issues with loose battery covers, switches that break more easily than other designs, and speed controls getting knocked awry—and always at a critical moment.

Care and Maintenance

Use water or silicone lubes, then soap and hot water. This is one of my most effective lint magnets, so keep it bagged and away from other-colored/other-material toys. Cornstarch probably isn't needed, but why not? It should last for years.

Personal comments

While there are a few things not to love about this one, it is lovable. It looks great sitting on the end of the waterbed headboard. It practically glows and silently screams SEX TOY! Bow down and worship! If you like thick, firm toys, you'll love it. I may have seemed negative if you've read this far, but the point is, after I wore out my first one, I bought another one within the week. 'Nuff said.
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This review was edited by
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Do you like this review?
  • MK434
    Nice review!
  • ghent529
    great review
  • Lioncub
    Thanks for the review
  • Rory
    Nice review! Thanks!!
  • Petite Cannibal
    Thanks for the review!
  • Dawnwill
    Thank you
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