Briana's vivid dreams - traditional vibrator by Doc Johnson - review by Blinker

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Briana's Bunker Buster

If you're a beginner or more accustomed to slender vibes, I'd seriously reconsider taking Briana home with you. But if you're more adventurous or crave crazy texture, go for it. The bullet in the tip of the shaft makes for great clitoral stimulation and the vibe performs wonderful in the water.
Published:
Pros:
Purple, waterproof, purple, bullet located in tip, quiet, and purple.
Cons:
Dial can be accidentally turned on, the ridges are too pronounced, jelly, and stinky.
Rating by reviewer:
3
extremely useful review

Use

Doc Johnson's Briana's Vivid Dreams vibe is a purple jelly vibe made for those who love extreme texture. By "extreme", I mean EXXXTREME. The ridges are just too much for me to handle, but she does make a good clitoral vibe due to the bullet being in the tip. I definitely would not recommend Briana for those new to sex toys or for anal play, because it would hurt. Like seriously. Ow.
  • Who / How / What
    [ ? ]
    Who might this product be best for? How is it best used? What are the best circumstances or situations for using this product?
    • Couples
    • Solo
  • Where
    [ ? ]
    Where / what types of places can this product be used?
    • Anywhere
    • Campus/roommate living
    • Tub/shower/pool
  • Features
    [ ? ]
    What kind of features does this product offer?
    • Waterproof
  • Body / part areas
    [ ? ]
    What areas on the body can this product be used / what areas does it stimulate best?
    • Clitoris
    • Nipples

Material / Texture

Briana is made of jelly/PVC (polyvinyl chloride), but it's a kind of jelly vibe I've not encountered before. When I took the vibe out of its packaging and handled it, I was looking for a plastic wrapper or film that I needed to peel off. It just felt that weird. The jelly is smooth, yes, but has a strange oily or slick feel to it. The feeling remains after a few (dozen) washings and it takes some getting used to. Of course the texture won't really be the first thing you notice with Briana, because she stinks. Maybe the new trend for vibes is to get a kerosene bath before being packaged. I couldn't handle the vibe right after I got it because of the smell. I shoved it back in the plastic box it came in and threw it aside.

I tiptoed around the vibrator's box for days before gaining the courage to use it. Yes, the smell has died down considerably with use but it's still there and I try to keep Briana out of my face. But, for the sake of research, I did a taste test. If you want to give a vibrator a licking, by all means go ahead but you will want to use mouthwash after tonguing Briana. You know when you smell something so strong and strange that you kind of taste it in the back of your throat? Yeah.

Since Briana's vibe is made from jelly, you will want to wash the toy thoroughly before your first play session with a very mild soap and warm water (strong soaps and chemicals can leach into the toy). Jelly is porous and thus cannot be fully sterilized. You cannot boil the toy to disinfect, and use a condom if you plan on sharing. It's a good idea to use a condom with this toy if you're planning to use it for insertion anyway because it contains phthalates and no one wants those in their woohoo.
    • Flexible
    • Somewhat porous
    • Strong odor

Design / Shape / Size

It's obvious that the folks at Doc Johnson in the design department got the idea for Briana's vibe by looking at a 16th century antique wingback chair leg. The tip is somewhat bulbous and this is where the bullet is housed. An inch or so down from this comes the first very pronounced ridge. It isn't a slight wavy pattern, oh no. There's a good half inch difference in height between the tip and the first ridge, and it isn't very subtle. To describe it more clearly, I'd say the tip is the head and then come the shoulders. The shoulders taper down a bit to form a waist of sorts but then you reach the hips which poke out like the shoulders. After the hips, the shaft tapers again slightly and drops down to end at the plastic control panel.

On the ridges of the shaft there is a loopy pattern, almost like a crown. That's the best way to describe it. Look closely at the pictures provided on the EF product page to see what I mean. If you are one of the chosen few who can happily take all of Briana in, you may find this pattern to be stimulating.

The total length of the toy is 8" and 6" of that are insertable. For me only 1" is insertable (really, I tried). The circumference at the widest point is 5" around, with a diameter of 1 5/8". I guess my eyes were bigger than my pussy when I picked this one out.

That being said, I do like how flexible the vibe is. You can see through the jelly to the innards of the toy and see the middle portion of the shaft contains wires in a flexible tube. The motor is near the plastic cap and you can see the batteries when they are inside. Don't try bending this part or you'll break it. Only the middle part of the shaft is bendable, but it is quite bendable.
    • Advanced
    • Futuristic

Functions / Performance / Controls

As a vibrator, Briana packs a punch. Just unscrew the cap to insert 2 AA batteries (not included) and you're ready to play. The controls for this vibe are akin to a dimmer switch and can be used with either hand easily. While gripping the vibe with one hand, use your thumb to rotate the light purple disk/eyeball clockwise. You will hear the faintest tick when you turn the dial on. Simply keep turning the dial clockwise to get stronger vibrations, or counterclockwise to lessen them. I loved the idea of the controls at first until I actually used them. There are raised ridges on the plastic control dial that provide grip when you turn the dial but after a while, these ridges could really begin to aggravate the user's thumbs. After only about 15 minutes of use my thumbs were sore and red and I was sick of the dial.

The dial can also bite you in the ass because there is no definite off switch. When you turn the dial counterclockwise as far as it will go, the vibe just stops working. There is no real audible click or switch that assures you it's completely off. I found that after I put the batteries in and screwed the cap on tightly, just going through those motions turned the vibrator on. Because of this, make sure you always remove the batteries after each use. Just to test how easily it could be switched on, I threw my vibe on the bed a few times and it turned itself on. I wouldn't recommend letting Briana roll around in your bag for a trip, especially with batteries inside.

Briana is in fact very waterproof, as long as you screw the cap on TIGHTLY and make sure to disassemble the vibe and dry it off after it touches the water. I played with the vibe for quite a while in the tub and noticed no malfunction whatsoever. The vibe is also extremely quiet for how powerful it is, so I couldn't worry about it being heard while you're in the shower or tub.
    • Discreet sound
    • Multiple settings
    • Powerful

Care and Maintenance

Because this toy is made of jelly and contains phthalates, keep it away from your other toys. I recommend storing it in the box it comes in if you have no other real storage place for your toys.

Jelly is compatible with both water-based and silicone lubes. To clean, just use toy cleaner or a mild soap with warm water. After you dry the toy, be absolutely sure the batteries are out before you store it, because any slight bump could turn the toy on.
    • Easy to clean
    • Easy to store

Packaging

I got a kick out of the packaging because of the picture of the lovely Briana Banks. She looks somewhat confused and is crossing her arms over her chest. She doesn't look too happy to be advertising the vibe. The box itself is clear plastic with purple designs all over the place. The vibe comes in a thin plastic bed molded to fit the vibe. I'd keep the box hidden because it clearly displays the toy next to an image of a famous porn star so it doesn't take a genius to figure out what the box is for.

There are no real instructions on or in the box. It does say the toy needs 2 AA batteries and that it's waterproof and multispeed. I got a kick out of reading on the box that this line of vibrators comes in "assorted organic shapes".
    • Good for storage
    • Not discreet

Experience

I tried and tried to insert Briana but she wouldn't budge. The ridges are scary and I don't like an owwie woohoo. I give Briana's Vivid Dreams 3 stars because it performs wonderfully in the water and as a clit stimulator but the control dial needs to be improved. Those who love dramatic texture should have more fun than I did.
This product was provided free of charge to the reviewer. This review is in compliance with the FTC guidelines.
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Comments
  • Jessica Elizabeth
    Eeesh! That one just looks painful! Thanks for the review! I think I will be steering clear of this one...
  • ~LaUr3n~
    Excellent review!
  • Miss B Haven
    Great review, thanks
  • Tori Rebel
    Great job!!!
  • Blinker
    thankies for the comments, yous guys
  • Sammi
    It looks cute - too bad it's jelly :-(
    Great review!
  • LavenderSkies
    thanks!
  • Retro.old
    Thanks!
  • big b
    great thanks
  • meluaz69
    Thank you wonderful review
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